"Of course I remember," I said, my words clipped short as I tried to keep my voice steady. I didn't dare look at him. If I did, it would be over.
The last time we'd been under this overhang, twenty years ago, he had kissed the length of me, roamed my body with his hands. Even now, a lifetime later, I could feel the heat of his touch on my skin, the memory imprinted on my body.
All of that was in the past. Far in the past. I'd left that part of me behind and it was staying in the past. Cade may have been my first love, but he wasn't anymore. If I reminded myself of that fact enough times, maybe I'd be able to ignore the irresistible pull toward him that I felt right now.
Cade put his hand on my arm, the heat radiating through me. "June," he said, his voice gravelly.
Finally, I looked at him. Everything was suddenly eclipsed by this feeling of deja vu, the knowledge that I had been here before with him, not only in this physical place, but this emotional one. I was sixteen again, heady with lust, my thoughts clouded by desire.
“You’re all wet,” I whispered, looking at the way his tee-shirt clung to his chest, the fabric clinging to his muscles. I didn't need to think about what he would look like without that shirt.
“So are you,” he said. I pulled at the hem of the shirt, shaking it away from my body. It's not like he hasn't seen me naked before, I thought. But I was overwhelmingly self-conscious, standing there in front of him.
Cade's gaze moved from my face down lower, and I felt heat rise to my cheeks.
"Cade," I said. "We - I - can't." My voice came out shaky, timid, and uncertain. It sounded nothing like me.
"Can't what?" he asked. His hand was still on my forearm, and I felt him slide his other hand around to the small of my back, sending a shudder rippling through my body. I felt pulled to him by some kind of irresistible force, powerless to just step away.
And that's what I needed to do - step away from him now, before everything changed.
Cade was no good for me.
"What are we doing here?" I asked.
Did I really want to know the answer?
"I don't know, Junebug," Cade said. He reached up, fingers under my chin, his thumb gently moving down the length of my jaw line. "I'm just getting out of the rain. That's what you're doing, isn't it?"
"Yes." That's all I was doing, standing here with him, his arm around my waist. "Getting out of the rain. That's all."
Cade leaned in closer, his voice gruff. "You sure about that?"
The rational part of me was screaming, Step back. Flashing it like a neon sign. Pull away from him. Step away before you start something you can't stop...something you don't want to stop.
Cade bent his head down toward mine, his mouth so close to mine I could nearly taste him on my lips. I felt my lips part, as if of their own accord, the air cool against them as I drew in my breath. I wanted him to crush me with his lips.
It was all I could think about.
"Yes." My voice cracked, but I croaked out the words. "Yes. I'm sure." I was too old for this, too old to rekindle some stupid high school romance.
He was so close. I wanted to fall forward, to fall into him, to let go and feel what I felt years ago. But I couldn't. I stood there frozen, unmoving, unwavering, my feet rooted in the ground.
"That's too bad," he whispered. "I thought you might be looking for something more."
Something more.
No. Not with Cade.
I stepped away from him, my back flat against the rock.
The moment was gone.
Cade stood there, his eyes still trained on me, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. "No, I don't want - "
I couldn't say it.
I don't want to fall for you again.
Cade's eyes narrowed, and even though he spoke softly I could feel the intensity in his words. "What don't you want, June? The biker thing isn't good enough for you? Cops are more your speed?"
I felt a flash of anger. "I saw you outside when Jed brought me back, Cade. If you have something you want to say about Jed and me, go right ahead and say it."
"Is there something you want to tell me?"
"Do you somehow think I owe you something, some kind of explanation?" I asked. "I'm not yours anymore, Cade Austin."
"You don't owe me anything," he said. "But you don't belong with him."
"Oh yeah? I asked, tilting my head up toward him. "How do you know who I belong with? What exactly do you know about me anymore, Cade?"
"I know you, June," he said, stepping forward, close to me. Any closer and his body would be pressed up against mine, pushing me into the rock behind me.
Any closer and I would be done for. I wouldn't be able to step away from him. And I didn't know if I could handle that. So I just stood there, paralyzed by fear. But I wanted him. I wanted him so badly I could almost taste him, taste his lips against mine, taste the sweetness of his skin as I ran my tongue across it, taste the sweetness of his cock as I wrapped my lips around him. These were the things I remembered about him, the things I couldn't forget.