"What? Is it a present?" MacKenzie bounced off, trailing behind her mother.
I met Cade's gaze, my heart skipping a beat as I took him in, standing there in his jeans, cowboy hat tilted down over his forehead. He looked so much like how I remembered him. So much like the man I thought he'd become.
"Junebug," he said. "I didn't expect to see you here."
"I didn't expect to come here."
"June, I - " he started. "About the other night, I -"
I shrugged. "You were drunk."
"I was stupid," he said, his voice low. "Coming over there like that. I didn't mean - I didn't think you were going to just - "
"Screw you because you showed up, drunk, on my front porch?"
"Something like that," he said. He grinned wickedly. "I mean, a guy can hope."
I opened my mouth to say something, but Stan appeared in the doorway. "Everything look okay with the cattle?” he asked.
“Yeah, pop,” Cade said. "I noticed a couple of calves that were still slick though, I'll need to head back and separate them to get brands on them."
“Good,” Stan said. “Cade, why don’t you come in and clean up. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.”
Dinner was a rambunctious event, with lots of laughter and joking. After it was finished and MacKenzie was in bed, we sat around the table. I sipped slowly at a glass of wine, my stomach full. Despite my misgivings about coming here, I was glad I came.
April peered closely at the photos hanging on the wall, of Cade during high school. “Look at you, Axe,” she said. “You were a football stud, huh?”
"First Team All-State Linebacker, baby,” he said, grinning. He gulped down his iced tea and looked over at me. “I was hot shit back then, wasn’t I?” he asked, winking at me.
“You were definitely something,” I said. “I don’t know if hot shit is the right term.”
“Whatever,” Cade said. “Captain of the football team? All the ladies wanted me.”
Stan laughed. “Never had a problem with self-esteem, this one,” he said.
“No kidding,” I said. “He was always a cocky little shit.”
“Hand me that photo there, April,” Stan said, taking it in his hands and displaying it to everyone. “This picture is of my son when he was playing fullback his sophomore year in high school. West Bend players had to play on both offense and defense, real Iron Man football. Cade was the fullback and a linebacker."
“Dad used to love to brag on me,” Cade said.
Crunch laughed. “I want to see the bad prom photos.”
“Were you a cheerleader, June?” April asked.
I laughed, choking on my wine. “God, no,” I said.
“June wasn’t the cheerleader type,” Cade said, looking at me. “She was more into all the alternative stuff. Grunge type. Moody.”
“I was not moody,” I protested.
“Really?” Cade asked. “As I remember it, you wore black for most of sophomore year.”
“I remember you didn’t seem to mind it too much back then,” I said.
He held up his hands. “I didn’t mind it at all. Your mom was the one who told you she wouldn't buy you any more clothes unless they were neon.”
I laughed. “She was so upset about the black nail polish all the time.”
“You were good for Cade, though,” Stan said. I could see Cade squirm uncomfortably in his chair. “Even if you wore black all the time.”
“Is your family around here, June?” April asked.
Everything got quiet, and it was like all the air was sucked out of the room. Stan and Cade exchanged knowing looks.
“Did I say something wrong?” April asked. "Sorry. I have a tendency to poke my nose in places it doesn't belong."
“You’re fine,” I said. “It’s not some big secret.”
“June, we don’t need to talk about it,” Stan started, and I interrupted him.
“Really, it’s fine, Mr. Austin,” I said. “It was years ago.” April looked embarrassed, and I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable. One thing I hated about coming back home was that it was like stepping back in time. People assumed I felt the same as if it had just happened yesterday. They assumed I was a child.
“It was years ago,” Stan said. “But it was my responsibility.”
“No, Mr. Austin, it wasn’t,” I said. “And April, it’s fine, really. You’re not overstepping anything.” April looked confused, while Stan sat across from me, studying his cup of coffee. I only realized then how much guilt he carried with him for my family’s deaths, and it made me feel sad. I wondered if Cade was carrying the same burden.
Cade cleared his throat and looked up at me. “June,” he started.