"Lilli, I didn’t…" he turned and looked at the couple who was trying to pretend that they weren’t listening to our conversation. “I didn’t do what you are thinking. I would never do that, ever. Why can’t you realize that?" Even in his hushed tone his voice was intense.
"I don’t think that you would, Aidan. It’s just…I mean, it’s just so convenient and, well, to be honest, I don’t know if I should or if I can trust you." I sighed and sat down. "Why didn’t you tell me before that you called the doctor about my prescription? Why couldn’t you be upfront about it when you did it? And, then, when I overheard you on the phone the other day. Now it just makes me wonder." I put my head in my hands. "Trust and belief is not something that I can give you right now."
"I’m sorry this happened. I’ve already placed calls and have people looking into everything. Plus, the hospital is making a report about the drug switch." I could hear the sadness in his voice. "I know that you are angry, but I am too."
I looked at him about to get defensive.
Was he trying to say that he was angry at me?
He saw the look on my face.
"Not with you, with me." Now I was confused. Before I could ask what he meant, he continued. "I should’ve been honest with you before all of this."
I shrugged.
"I guess it doesn’t really matter about the pills…" I broke off when I saw his face. "What?"
"I was talking about telling you that I love you." He turned his entire body to face me. "I am dead serious, Lilli, I love…"
I groaned loudly and stood up.
"What?" he asked, sounding a little annoyed.
"Just…just don’t say that." I closed my eyes and rubbed my closed lids.
"Why shouldn’t I say it? I mean it." He stood and his hands were on my upper arms tightly, pulling me closer to him.
I opened my eyes.
"You may think that you love me, Aidan, I don’t know, but you are not in love with me. We have an agreement and that is…"
"Will you please stop trying to discredit how I feel about you?" He wrapped his arms around my waist.
Pushing him away, I swallowed hard.
"Aidan, I don’t feel that way about you." I lied. "I knew and so did you, that this was just an arrangement. The newest development doesn’t change anything." I lied again and wiped away the solitary tear that escaped my traitorous eye.
"You’re lying," he spit out quickly. He sounded cocky, but there was a hint of anger and sadness to his voice. He sighed. "When we get home we are going to…" I cut him off.
"I am not going ho…to your house." I turned to look at him. He looked terrified.
"You—?"
"I am going to stay and take care of Donald, until he is better." I cleared up the misunderstanding. "I know that you need to get back to AIS, so I will be away for a while."
Aidan looked so sad that I almost wanted to comfort him, but I held strong. If I comforted him then I would simply crack into a million pieces. My father just had a heart transplant, I was hit by a freaking truck and I found out that I was pregnant, that I had been drugged to produce said pregnancy. And, the icing to top off the pregnancy cake, something that I am not even sure how I feel about, I was pregnant with twins. My emotions and my logical thinking were so wrapped up with each other that I couldn’t stand to be in my own skin. Confusion, sadness, shock, fear, and panic ripped through me in continuous waves. Trying to hold myself together was a full time job right now.
"I understand," was all Aidan said as he sat back down.
I took a deep breath and walked passed him. Once I was out of the waiting room, I found the closest bathroom. Lurching into the porcelain bowl, I emptied the contents of my stomach. I suddenly felt exhausted and drained.
After washing off my face and rinsing out my mouth, I walked back to my father’s room. Aidan was sitting in a corner chair looking disheveled and somber. I climbed into the reclining chair next to my father’s bed. The last thing I remember is feeling Aidan’s burning gaze.
Aidan returned to New York three days after our conversation, though he called and texted regularly. Donald was moved from Eastern Maine back to Winter Harbor hospital after a week. He spent two more weeks at Winter Harbor hospital before he being released into homecare.
Whoever labeled it ‘morning sickness’ was definitely a moronic male. I was sick morning, noon and night. I was barely able to hold down any type of solid food. At one point, Millie almost had a doctor put me on an IV. Thankfully that didn’t happen.
Phoebe and Dixon had left after spending a week in the hospital with me and Donald. Phoebe arrived in Winter Harbor when we took Donald home from the hospital. I was happy to have her back, along with the clothes that she brought for me. She was going to drive me to the hospital so that I could finally get the approval to stop using the damn air cast and have my head checked out, as well as for my OB checkup.
"So…" Phoebe kept her eyes on the road.
"What, Phoebe?" I sighed.