Savage Redemption

chapter 19



Kat sat on the edge of the hard cot and stared at the opposite wall of her cell. There wasn’t much to see, just some scratches where some prior inmate kept track of the passing time. How depressing was that? It had been only two days since Ambrose had locked her in, and already she wanted to scream. Was that part of the plan? Did he think if he left her alone long enough, she’d change her mind?

That wasn’t going to happen. Couldn’t happen.

Sure, she’d love to walk out of this place. There wasn’t anything she wanted more than to return to the O’Day estate and watch Maggie and Rose grow up, no longer having to worry about who might recognize her.

No matter how hard she tried, the picture wouldn’t come into focus. Three years of fear and hiding had definitely left their mark on her. As much as she hated this place, she took some comfort in knowing that she was there by choice—the right choice.

She wouldn’t buy her own freedom at the cost of Conlan’s. Yeah, she appreciated Rafferty and his wife stepping up and claiming her as clan, and she didn’t blame them one bit for not wanting to supervise her parole. That is, if she was ever granted one. But it was outrageous of them to suggest that Conlan should get stuck with that duty simply because he was Rafferty’s head of security.

At least Conlan still had his job if he wanted it. That was something, but what she really wanted was for him to be free to make his own life choices. How could he do that if he was saddled with watching her for any length of time?

The crash of a door opening and then slamming shut echoed through the empty cell block, followed by the sound of two pairs of footsteps headed her way. She braced herself for another round of arguing with Ambrose. The only question was who he had brought along for reinforcements.

She remained where she was, staring at nothing. If she were to wait at the door, as if hoping for a reprieve, it would only give the man more leverage. That small bit of defiance was the only power she had right now, and she wouldn’t give it up easily.

The cell door opened, and someone walked in. The other person locked the door again and then walked away without saying a word. A few seconds later, the door down the hall clanged opened and closed again.

Despite her uninvited guest’s silence, despite her determined refusal to look up, Kat knew exactly who was standing just inside of her cell door. Without a doubt, it was one seriously pissed-off chancellor—Conlan Shea.

She sighed. Ambrose O’Brien might have a reputation for honesty and fair play, but obviously he wasn’t above a few dirty tricks to get his way. It wasn’t in her to ignore Conlan for long.

He stared at her, his jaw clenched and his eyes glittering in frustration—or more likely anger. She wanted to reach out to him, to find some way to soothe him, but to show any sign of weakness would be a mistake. “If you’re going be here awhile, you might as well sit down.”

The cot groaned as he parked himself at the far end. There. She’d done everything she could to be a good hostess. It wasn’t as if she could offer him refreshments or anything.

Finally, Conlan broke his silence. “I’ve got to say, Kat, that you’ve managed to impress Ambrose, Rafferty and Joss. It isn’t often any of them encounters someone who beats all three of them combined on sheer pigheadedness.”

“Thanks,” she said, although she suspected none of them meant it as a compliment.

“And just so you know, I’m not here to try to change your mind.”

“Good, because you can’t.”

She hoped she sounded more convincing to him than she did to herself. If there was some kind of magic wand she could wave that would make all the complications disappear, she’d jump at the chance to waltz out the front door of this hellhole and go home. Conlan leaned forward, elbows on his knees as he stared down at the floor. “They don’t usually keep prisoners in this facility very long, so I’m guessing you’ll be moved to a high-security prison in the next twenty-four hours.”

She bit her lower lip, trying to hold back her pain. He wasn’t telling her anything she didn’t already know. That didn’t mean she wanted to hear it.

“Once you’re moved, visitations will be pretty limited, so Rose and Maggie will only get to see you every three or four months. Of course, you can always write to them. And once you’ve settled in and earned a few privileges, you might even get to email them. Sometimes they’ll even let prisoners phone family on holidays.”

Why didn’t he just stick a knife in her heart? Didn’t he know that it would kill her to miss so much of the girls’ lives? And as badly as that hurt, it was just as bad knowing this was the last time she’d see Conlan, to have him where she could reach out and touch him.

He turned to face her, his face bleak. “So I have to ask you something, Kat. How am I supposed to explain to Maggie and Rose that you find me so repulsive that you’d rather rot in prison than spend time with me?”

His words lashed at her, their edges sharp and jagged. It was as if her heart were being cut open and bleeding out. She clenched her hands, her nails digging into the palms of her hands to avoid reaching out to him. There was nothing she could do to control her tears.

“Conlan, that’s not it at all. That’s not why I refused the deal Ambrose offered me.”

“Well, I can’t believe you don’t want to be with your nieces, so that leaves me.”

He looked exhausted, as if he hadn’t slept since the other night. Of its own accord, her hand crossed the small distance to rest on his arm. He flinched at her touch but made no move to avoid the small contact. She owed him the truth.

She rose to her feet and stepped over to the cell door and looked to her heart for the right words to say, to somehow ease his pain. Finally, she looked at him as she leaned against the iron bars for support.

“You’re right, Conlan. I turned down Ambrose’s offer because of you, but not for the reason you think. Your life changed for the worse from the minute our paths crossed three years ago. I won’t buy my own freedom at the cost of yours.”

He exhaled sharply. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Surely Ambrose had explained everything to him. “If they were to offer me parole, someone has to take responsibility for monitoring my actions, maybe even permanently.”

“So he told me.”

Words came hard. “I am furious that they tried to foist that duty off onto you simply because you’re Rafferty’s head of security.”

Conlan looked incredulous. “So? Do you doubt that I would do my job?”

By now, he was on his feet and standing close enough that she could feel his body heat. The memory of how it felt to be held in those strong arms, to hold him close, to savor the feel of his body against hers was pure torture.

“Never! I’ve never once doubted your honor.”

“Then what’s the problem, Kat?”

She owed him the truth. “You matter to me, Conlan. You deserve to be free to make your own choices, and I won’t do anything that interferes with that. It’s one thing if they said my sentence was a year, maybe two, but life? What would you do if you wanted to move back to New Eire? Or if you met someone, and she didn’t want to live out on the estate?”

Although the thought of him with someone else made her physically ill. Suddenly, Conlan grinned. What was so funny? Then it hit her. Please, someone tell me I didn’t say that last part out loud.

Unfortunately, judging from the smug look on Conlan’s face right now, she had. What could she do now? He stepped closer, hovering over her, crowding her.

“So, Kat, I’ll tell you what. Rather than trying to protect me from myself, let’s pretend that I’m free to make my own choices. Ask me what I want to do with my life.”

Her pulse sped up. “Okay, Conlan, what would you do with the rest of your life?”

His fangs peeked out over his lower lip as he smiled. “I’d spend it with you.”

Could she be dreaming? She reached out to touch Conlan, to make sure he was real, that he was standing there offering her everything she’d ever wanted.

“Are you sure, Conlan? Please don’t do this because you feel like you have to.”

He leaned in close enough for her to feel the brush of his breath against her skin. “Believe me, Kat, I want this. I want you.”

Then Conlan kissed her with exquisite care, as if to seal the deal. As Kat gave herself up to his embrace, her last clear thought was how sweet the taste of hope was.