“Yeah, right.” Like he could sleep now, when he didn’t know if they had a chance of surviving the next twelve hours. He took a sip from the mug, just to spare himself the need to say anything else.
To his surprise, warm chocolate and cinnamon swirled across his tongue, instead of the coffee he’d been expecting. It was good, and helped warm him from the inside. He took another sip.
Adam pulled his hands into the sleeves of his pullover and blew on his exposed fingertips. “Do you want another blanket?”
“No.” Michael didn’t mean to sound short, but the word ended with an edge. He added, “You don’t have to sit out here. Go back inside if you’re cold.”
Adam didn’t move. “I’m all right.” He paused. “Do you want me to leave you alone?”
“Yes.”
Again, the word was too short, too harsh. But Michael couldn’t wrap his brain around social niceties, and he sure as hell couldn’t face the stress of a conversation. Not because Adam’s presence bothered him. Because Adam was a reminder that others could be caught in the crossfire if he made the wrong decisions. A reminder that Michael couldn’t handle everything on his own, that once again they were dependent on the charity of others.
Tension crawled across his shoulders, digging in for a nice long ride. He wished they could run. He wanted to wake his brothers and pack them into the truck, then drive somewhere he wouldn’t have to worry about anyone else.
He checked the time. Seven more minutes until he could call. He slammed the phone onto the concrete beside him.
Running would lead to problems with the authorities. It would paint him as guilty almost immediately. He and his brothers might be safe from the Guides—at least for a little while—but it would be hard to hide from the cops. He didn’t have much cash on hand, and using credit cards would leave an indelible trail.
But staying made them a target.
Along with everyone around them.
Adam uncurled from where he was sitting. Michael hoped he was going into the apartment. But no, he edged over to sit next to Michael. Then he held out his hand.
“Here.”
Michael looked down. A key chain sat on Adam’s palm.
“Keys to the apartment,” Adam said. “My mom’s been whining that I’m never around much anymore, so I’m going to visit for a while. Maybe even spend the night.”
Michael didn’t touch the keys. Suddenly ashamed, he stared at his travel mug. “You don’t have to leave leave. That’s not what I meant.”
“I know what you meant.” Adam paused. “And I know what it’s like to need time to regroup.”
“I don’t want to chase you out of your home. We can leave—”
“Sure, you can. Whenever you’re ready. Or you can stay. But I have somewhere else to go—somewhere free—and it’s not a hardship.” He rolled his eyes. “Or it won’t be for a while. You know how mothers are.”
The words hung in the air for a moment. Adam seemed to realize what he’d said, because there was a little flinching around his eyes—but he couldn’t unsay the words, and Michael appreciated that he didn’t try.
Michael reached out and took the keys. He had to clear his throat. “I’ll work on finding us somewhere else to stay once I talk to the insurance company.”
“You should try to get some sleep.”
“Yeah, yeah. You’ve said.”
“Keep the keys with you if you leave. I’ll get the spare from my mom.”
Michael nodded. He knew he should say thank you, but emotion was clawing its way up his throat, and he was worried his voice would crack—or he’d say something angry, just to cover it up.
Keep it together. Your fifteen minutes is almost up.
It was enough to steady his breathing. “We’ll be gone by tomorrow morning.”
Adam didn’t look away. “It’s okay to let other people take care of you, you know.”
Michael laughed without any real humor to it. “Yeah. Sure.”
“Hmm. Well, at least now I know where Nick gets it.”
That pissed Michael off. “You think I should let other people ‘take care of us’? You think that would help? Let me tell you what happens when I try. When my parents died, they had people working for them. Good guys, I thought, who offered to help me figure out the business. Good guys who stole almost ten thousand dollars before I realized what was going on. Or how about when Nick and Gabriel were twelve and they snuck out of the house to be stupid, and they got caught. I asked a neighbor to come sit with Chris since it was the middle of the night. She was real helpful. She reported it to DFS. Told them my brothers were running wild. There are all kinds of people trying to help, but it always seems like they’re really just waiting around for me to fuck up.”
“I’m not waiting for you to fuck up.” Adam paused. “Just because you can’t trust everyone doesn’t mean you can’t trust anyone.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“I know.” Adam stood and moved toward the door. “Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive.”