“I’m sorry about yesterday’s game. My head wasn’t all there for the first couple quarters and that’s not right.”
Matty gives me a half smile and small shake of his head. “Masters, you played like a demon and I’ll always be proud that you were my teammate.” He slaps me on the back. “I’m making pancakes downstairs with the rest of the team. Let’s go down before it’s all gone.”
I make my way down to the first floor where most of the defensive starters have gathered around Hammer’s table eating breakfast. I stop near the foot of the table where an empty place waits for me.
“You okay, man?” Hammer asks.
“Other than the fact that I feel like shit for letting you guys down on the field yesterday, I’m okay.” The look of relief that passes across each and every one of their faces tells me I’m doing the right thing. I wait for Matty to come tromping down the stairs. He joins us at the table.
Once he takes his seat, I give all the guys an apology. “I’m sorry for last week.”
“No, man. That wasn’t you.” Jessie shakes his head vigorously, making his tight corn rows bounce. “You had that chick in your head. If it’s any one’s fault it’s—”
I cut him off before he says anything too stupid, because Jessie’s a good linebacker and his replacement…not so good.
“Was Ellie—” Fuck, it hurts to even say her name. “Was she on the field yesterday? Did she wear number fifty-five while my ass sat on a bench?” Jessie mouths no as I say it. “No. I stunk it up in the first quarter. I stumbled over my own feet like a newborn colt. That was me. I didn’t shed blocks. I let a weaker guy push me off the line. And I’m sorry for my play.” It’s important for my team to see me take responsibility, so when we go back to practice on Monday, they are as focused as ever.
“When we go out on the football field, everyone there has practiced as much as we have. We win because we want it more than they do. We care less about the pain in our shins, our swollen fingers, and our bruised bones than we do about victory. Yesterday I let the vision of our success slip away and the win went with it. So I’m sorry, and I’m here to tell you it won’t happen again. From now on, from the first whistle to the last, I will not take a play off. I’ll focus on nothing but winning. I make that pledge to you now.”
Hammer thuds his hand on the table, slowly, like a war drum.
“Nothing but football from here on out,” he concurs.
One by one each player makes their own pledges, and with each word and passing moment, we begin to reknit the spirit of the team. The heaviness that wore me down all last night and this morning begins to subside a little.
“Now you guys need to accept my apology so I don’t have to keep running down all the shit things I did yesterday. There’s no reason to blame the girl I—” Love. I clear my throat, but the word I can’t say hangs out there like my fly is open and my dick’s flopping in the wind.
Matty jumps in like a fucking superhero.
“How early is too early for a dick pic?” He waves his phone.
“No dick pics before ten.” Hammer scowls.
“Is that what the donut blowjob site says?” I ask, a reluctant smile curving across my face. I sense another epic Hammer and Matty disagreement coming on, and damn if we don’t need it.
Hammer nods. “I think I should write for that site. I read other articles and some of them are written by dudes.” He spits out the last word with disgust.
“Why’s that bad?”
“Because these guys aren’t using their power for good. They’re passing out advice to a bunch of horny women, but it’s all about sappy movies and what kind of noises girls should make in bed.”
“What’s your suggested topics?”
Hammer’s face lights up. “I’m thinking things like ‘Top ten reasons why swallowing is good for your health’ and ‘It’s okay to watch ESPN and have sex at the same time’ and ‘A threesome makes for better roommate relationships.’ Shit like that.”
Heads nod in agreement around the table. “You got scientific proof of that?” I ask with a full-fledged grin. We all know he doesn’t.
“Fuck, man, this site talks about using fruit and baked goods during oral. They don’t need scientific proof.”
I stifle a laugh.
“You’re not the hero we asked for, but the one we deserve,” Matty pronounces and the two exchange high fives.
The team will be all right. Now I have to fix Ellie and me.
???
Ace comes up to the apartment after I take a short run to work off the carbs and fat from breakfast.
“Hey, man. I’m glad you’re here. I wanted to apologize for busting your chops earlier in the season. Obviously I have no place to talk.” I get him a beer which he takes gratefully. Matty’s watching television in the living room.
“It’s no big deal. I shouldn’t sleep with Stella anyway.” He takes a couple long gulps of the beer.