Rules of Entanglement

Day 5: Thursday


“Don’t I even get a hint?”

Vanessa looked over at Jackson from the passenger seat of his Jeep. She held hair in one hand to avoid the inevitable snarl wars in her curls as a result from traveling in a vehicle with no roof. Or doors, for that matter.

He spared a quick glance in her direction with what could only be described as a model-perfect smile. All gorgeous white teeth, laugh lines behind the dark shade of his stubble, and she’d bet laughing topaz eyes behind his dark wrap-around sunglasses.

“Nope.”

That was it. He wouldn’t say anything else no matter how many guesses she tossed into the wind. Considering she wasn’t fond of surprises—after all, one can’t prepare for what one doesn’t know is coming—it was utterly infuriating. And really sweet. Damn him.

Finally giving up, she slid on her own sunglasses and let her head drop back. The late afternoon sun bathed her face and upper body, and she wondered how many new freckles she’d come away with by the time she flew home. She didn’t have any on her face like Kat did, but she sported some light ones on her arms and shoulders. It was a damn good thing she’d slathered herself in suntan lotion before they left. She’d have to remember to reapply later if they were going to be outdoors.

Not that she knew if they were or not because someone wasn’t coughing up any answers.

She sighed and thought about all that had transpired over the last several days. In a million years, she never would’ve guessed what the week had in store for her. Last night had been even more of a surprise. Not only did she actually punch someone in a fit of rage, she’d cried on Jackson’s shoulder to the point of exhaustion then let him take care of her until she fell asleep in his lap.

She tried to think back to the last time anyone had taken care of her…and came up blank. Even as a child she’d been the one caring for herself and Kat. Hell, she’d even taken care of their mother when she was too far gone on God only knew what to perform the simplest of tasks.

But last night had been completely different. She’d opened up to Jackson more than she ever had with anyone else. Even in her more vulnerable moments with Lucie, she’d still had a thin wall around herself, allowing a modicum of control. And Lucie, being the sweetheart she was, never pushed for anything more than Vanessa was willing to give.

But Jackson had taken her thin wall and chipped away at it until he made a sizable dent. Then kept going until the dent became a crack and the crack became a gap, and that was all he needed to release the raw emotions he’d been looking for. The experience had been terrifying. And also cathartic.

She spent a good deal of her morning wondering why he was so intent on breaking through her barriers, though. What was he getting out of it? It certainly wasn’t some sleazy way of making her vulnerable enough to get into her pants. Technically speaking, he’d had backstage passes to her pants for a full three days. And it sure as hell wasn’t because he was looking for some deep, meaningful relationship with her. They’d both agreed that this was a one-time-only fling.

Yep. Nothing but some fun in the sun and then they were done, and all that other rhyming mantra crap. Little did she know she’d be haunted by the phrase “be careful what you wish for” as she tried to ignore the pang of sadness and regret on their last day together. So much for her women’s intuition.

Maybe Jackson was just one of those rare guys who was genuinely sweet. Plus, she was his sister’s best friend, so he had an added incentive to be nice to her. At any rate, though they’d started off more than a little rocky, Vanessa was really glad for his company the last several days. She had fun with him, he made her laugh, he was playful and charming…and wicked talented in bed. And on the couch. And in the shower. And on Jet Skis.

“What are you smiling about over there?”

Vanessa pressed her lips together. She hadn’t realized her wayward thoughts had gone rogue with brain signals to her mouth. But since they had, there was no sense in letting an opportunity go to waste.

Reaching across the short distance between them, she placed her hand high on his thigh and started tracing the inside hem of his shorts with a tip of her nail. His muscles bunched beneath her palm, and he groaned when her finger crept closer to his crotch then retreated without touching anything fun. She stifled her laugh.

“If you tell me where we’re going, I’ll tell you what I was thinking.” Taking things a step further, she leaned over, pressed a moist kiss just under his ear, and whispered, “And even reward you with some in-the-car fun.”

“Sorry, babe. No dice.” Jackson grabbed her roaming hand, kissed it, and then intertwined their fingers before resting them on his lap. He did a bang-up job of pretending he wasn’t affected, but the pulse in his neck told her it was his way of preventing any further threats of her handling his stick shift while he drove.

Sitting back in her seat, she huffed from defeat and considered the phone conversation she’d had that morning with the only other person besides Lucie she felt she could go to for advice. Fritz, the grizzled owner of the local bar she and Lucie had frequented ever since their freshman year in college, was the closest thing Vanessa had to a father figure. He was the type to show his affection through the fine art of teasing and mock arguments. It was rare for the man to have any serious moments, but the fatherly affection he had for her and Lucie was obvious in every fake barb he threw their way.

Vanessa had woken in Jackson’s arms that morning groggy and content. As she lay there, listening to his even breaths and the steady beating of his heart, she turned her focus inward and analyzed her feelings. Something she rarely allowed herself to do. What she found astonished her. Not only did she feel safe and cared for, but she swore there was something that felt an awful lot like…love.

She’d given herself ten points for managing not to freak out. Instead, she’d suppressed her crazy and gone through their morning routine of drinking coffee and eating breakfast. Then he’d left to go run errands, and she’d frantically dialed the number for the bar, knowing with the time difference that Fritz would be getting ready to open.

“We don’t open till four.”

The surly, gravelly voice was like the beacon of a distant lighthouse in a blinding fog. “Fritz! It’s Nessie. Do you have a minute?”

“Well, now, you know I’ll always have time for my favorite redhead, but ain’t you supposed to be in Hawaii?”

“I am, but I need someone to talk to, and I can’t talk to Lucie about it.” She paused and then amended it with, “Yet.” One of the things she’d decided was that she was going to come clean with Lucie about the fling with Jax after her honeymoon was over. Vanessa didn’t think it would upset her friend, but in case it even bothered her in the slightest, she didn’t want it to ruin what should be the happiest week of her life.

“That’s not like you, Red. What you got goin’ on? Someone givin’ you trouble, girl? You tell me who it is and I’ll set ’em straight when I get down there tomorrow.”

“No, no, it’s nothing like that. Um…” She took a breath, closed her eyes, and spit it out. “I’m sleeping with Lucie’s brother, Jackson.”

A slow whistle came through the cell speaker. “Keepin’ it in the family, are ya? Okay, so what’s the problem? He not giving you the cunny quakes?”

It wasn’t easy to shock Vanessa, especially when it came to the outrageously hilarious things that often came out of the retired Naval rescue swimmer’s mouth, but that was definitely a new level of outrageous. The fun thing about her relationship with Fritz, though, was the smartass—and often crass and inappropriate—comments they tossed back and forth. It had caused more than a few bar patrons to look at them strangely over the years.

She welcomed the smirk on her face at the familiarity of their banter. “Just because you have issues getting the ladies to scream your name, old man, doesn’t mean everyone else does.”

“Hah! When I’m with a woman the sex is so good my neighbors need a cigarette. So don’t you go accusin’ me of not satisfyin’ the ladies.”

Vanessa busted out laughing and felt some of the tension leave her body. “All right, so we’ve established that both you and Jackson have no issues in the sack. Gee, I can’t tell you what a relief that is. Not to mention the spectacular imagery that gave me, thank you very much.”

“At least you don’t sound like a scared little rabbit anymore,” he said with tenderness in his voice. That he’d sensed her anxiety over the phone and tried to quell it the only way he knew how truly touched her. He really was a big teddy bear at heart. “Now, tell me what’s really botherin’ ya.”

She raked a hand through her hair and fisted a chunk until the sharp pain at her scalp forced her to relax her grip. Say it, say it, say it! “God, this is crazy,” she muttered. “I can’t believe I’m actually going to say this…”

“Speak up, darlin’, my hearin’ ain’t what it used to be.”

“I think that maybe…I mean, it’s possible…” Somewhere in the back of her mind Vanessa knew she was acting ridiculous. For shit’s sake, she was actually wincing as though the words dangling off the tip of her tongue could actually cause physical pain. “…that I might be—just a little—infatuated, in lust, or whatever you want to call it, with Jackson.”

Her breaths ceased, remaining trapped in her lungs as she waited for a response, a guffaw, a something. But the only sound that came through was the rasp of his fingers running over the ever-present gray stubble on his jaw. She’d bet he had his elbows on the bar, one hand holding the receiver of the old rotary phone, the other creating the sandpaper noise that seemed to get louder with every passing nanosecond.

“Fritz, say something,” she pleaded. “Tell me I’m crazy because I’ve only known him a few days. That getting involved with my best friend’s brother is asking for trouble. That I’m a hypocrite because he practically breaks every one of my Rules.”

“Well now, Red, why would I have to say any of those things when you’re already thinkin’ ’em?”

“See? I knew it.” She slumped forward on the couch and dropped her head into her hand. “Oh, this is bad. Bad, bad, bad.”

“Now wait a minute. Just because I pointed out you’re already thinkin’ those things doesn’t mean I agree with any of it.”

Vanessa swore she heard a needle screech its way across a vinyl record somewhere. “You don’t?”

“Hell no, I don’t. Now you listen to me, and you listen good. You know I love you like my own, but Jesus Christ, yer the dumbest smart woman I know.”

“Beg your pardon?”

“I’ve watched you turn down more fellas in this bar than I can count. Now, don’t get me wrong, most of ’em weren’t worth the time it took you to brush ’em off. But some were mighty nice gentlemen, and all that stopped you was those damn rules.”

“My Rules are solid. They keep me from getting involved with anyone who isn’t good for me,” she argued as she crossed the room to stare out at the bright blue water beyond the white sand.

“Oh, that’s such horseshit. Your rules ain’t nothin’ more than a way of making sure no one gets close enough to hurt you.” She was about to contest that point when he said something that made her mouth slam shut. “If you keep goin’ as you are, Nessie girl, yer always gonna be alone. An’ I know that’s not what you want.”

No, she thought sadly. It isn’t.

“No one’s perfect, kiddo. Not even you, hard as that is to imagine.”

A hint of a smile curved the edges of her lips at his mild jab, but the fear of contemplating all that he said kept her joviality at the baseline. Was she truly destined to be alone if she held every man she met against her Rules?

Fritz added one last thought, holding back the avalanche of questions she was about to inundate herself with. “I’ve never met Jackson, but from everything our Lucie’s told me over the years, he sounds like a pretty good guy. After all, he practically raised her, so he can’t be all that bad. Maybe you oughta give him the benefit of the doubt and yourself a shot at being happy and see how things turn out. You might just be surprised.”

“Since when did you get so smart?”

His raspy chuckle warmed her heart and even made her a little homesick. Fritz’s Bar had been a huge part of her regular routine for the last decade of her life, and so had its owner. “Since always, but I try to keep it in check, ’cause I hate to see a pretty girl cry when she’s been outsmarted by an old-timer like me.”

She’d laughed and then changed the topic with a bit of small talk about the wedding before hanging up and spending the rest of her morning trying to focus on her casework as opposed to her conversation with Fritz.

“Where you at, V?”

“Hmm?” Blinking, she looked over at Jackson to find they’d stopped.

“You seemed miles away just now.” He stretched his arm over the back of her seat and leaned in as he shoved his shades onto his head. The golden brown of his eyes pierced through her flashback haze. “Where were you?”

She gave him a confident smile. Or at least what she hoped was confident. “Trust me, it’s nowhere you want to be.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that, honey.” He closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to hers in a gentle kiss. When he pulled back, he added, “As long as you’re there, I’m thinking that’s exactly where I want to be.”

Vanessa sat stone still, her brain analyzing at hyper-speed while a warmth like she’d never known spread through her heart. Could he possibly have feelings for her like she’d started having for him? Did he want more than what they’d originally agreed to?

No, that didn’t make any sense. He must be referring to the here and now. Today was their last contractual day together, and he probably wanted to make the most of it, just as she did.

“Come on, princess, get the lead out. We have a decent hike in front of us.”

For the next half hour, they trekked through some of the most beautiful country she’d ever seen, even on TV. Seeing the jungle up close and personal as opposed to a two-dimensional picture was like the difference between seeing Jax in pictures (oh, he’s cute) and knowing what it was like to make love to him (oh my f*cking God he’s heaven). No contest.

Jackson led the way, making sure he held the brush aside for her as she trailed behind him or held her hand to steady her when they went over a slippery area. Little by little the sounds of rushing water grew louder. At last she caught sight of the light at the end of their foliage tunnel. Anticipation bubbled in her chest at what she would find. Maybe surprises weren’t so bad after all.

“Here we are,” he announced, taking her hand and leading her out into the clearing. “Welcome to Maris Falls.”

“Oh, Jackson!”

A clear pool of water surrounded on three sides by high cliffs dressed in lush greenery, and in the very center, a majestic waterfall draped itself over the edge, ending in a spectacular show of white spray and rainbows from the refracting light of the sun.

She turned to look at him. “This is your favorite place on the island.”

“Yeah. I come here to think, relax, contemplate existentialism. You know, the norm.”

She laughed and gazed back at the scene before her. “I’ve never seen anything so breathtakingly beautiful.”

“I have.”

At the husky sound of his voice, she found him staring at her, his meaning obvious in his heated gaze. Normally she’d throw out something saucy like, “Flattery will get you everywhere,” but suddenly her throat was dry and her wit seemed to have taken a hike up a different mountain.

“Um, so…” She cleared her throat and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Now what?”

“Now,” he said, shucking the heavy backpack from his shoulders and setting down the small cooler he’d carried, “we set up camp and go for a swim.”

“That’s the best news I’ve heard all day. Give me the pack,” she said, holding out her hands. “I’m an excellent camp setter-upper.”

“You are, huh?”

“Yep. It was my minor in college. I’ll have us in the water in no time.”

“I have a better idea.” He dropped the pack behind him and stepped in front of her, grabbing her hips. Her hands gravitated to his pecs like magnets, the solid muscles fitting the curve of her palms as his full lips distracted her. “Why don’t you hop in the water and cool off. I’ll get stuff situated out here and join you in a minute.”

She bit the corner of her lip and glanced over at the cool, clear pool beckoning her, then back up at Jackson. “You sure?”

A huge smile split that glorious mouth right before he bestowed her with a searing kiss. “I’m sure.”

She couldn’t bring herself to argue any more. The humidity of the jungle they’d trudged through had definitely taken its toll on her during their hike. Sweat and grit covered her skin, and she felt truly disgusting. Allowing Jax to be so close to her while feeling so grimy shot way past her comfort level, but for some reason when it came to him, she found herself acting out of character a lot.

Vanessa wasted no time in stripping off her shorts, T-shirt, tennies, and socks until all that remained was her cerulean string bikini. It was her personal favorite. The suit was basically a collection of triangles: two that barely covered more than her nipples, leaving cleavage and side swells exposed, and two skimpy inverted ones to form the bottoms, which were joined only by strings tied in bows on her hips and showed plenty of ass. It left pretty much nada to the imagination.

“What in God’s name is that?”

“What is what?” Fearing he saw some sort of dangerous jungle animal, her heart leapt into her throat as she spun to see what he’d found. But he was staring at her. Air whooshed out of her lungs, and she took a few steadying breaths. “Don’t do that! You scared the crap out of me.”

“That is not a swimsuit.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course it is.”

“No,” he said, his gaze trapped between her shoulders and her thighs. “That’s a torture device. Do you wear that thing in public?”

She actually didn’t. It was reserved for pool parties with her friends or sunbathing on her balcony. “Why, Jackson?” Sauntering over to him, she ran a finger down the center of his chest and looked up through her eyelashes. “Would it make you jealous if other men saw me wearing it?”

“Try murderous,” he said through clenched teeth. “You’re damn near naked.”

She gave him a wicked grin and filed that information away for future reference. “Well, if seeing me in this barely anything bikini is actually torturing you…” She brought her hands up to the strings hanging at her hips, ready to release the bows. “I should probably just get rid of it.”

…

Jackson grabbed her wrists, holding them captive. “Don’t even think about it, V. It’s rare I see anyone up here, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen. And no one but me gets to look at what’s mine.”

Shit. Way to give her your back, Maris. He hadn’t meant to say that last part out loud. Putting any kind of claim on Vanessa would spook her. He might as well have just pushed her away with his hands. Today was supposed to be his day to show her how he felt about her—that he wanted more than just the three days he’d agreed to. But if he couldn’t keep his inner Neanderthal locked down, he wouldn’t have much of a chance.

She canted her head slightly and studied him. He could almost see her wheels spinning, but which way took her remained to be seen. At last she smiled and said, “Since you put it that way…”

Rising up on tiptoes, she pressed her lips to his. Just when he planned to take it to the next level and to hell with setting anything up, she pulled back, gave him a brilliant smile, and walked away with a little extra swing in her hips. When she reached the edge of the water, she tossed him a look over her shoulder just before diving into the clear, cool water.

Why hadn’t she closed down or reminded him he only had claim on her for another few hours?Was it possible she felt something more for him than just someone to fool around with on vacation? She broke the surface several yards away, laughing and treading water.

“Now this is heaven,” she said, turning around to study the surrounding area, then diving back under.

“Pretty damn close,” he said to himself. The only thing that would clinch it in his eyes was if Vanessa wanted to be with him. For good. He’d never felt a fraction for any woman like he did for her. They completed each other with a perfect balance of give and take.

She needed control in her daily life. She was a woman who knew what she wanted and didn’t stop until she got it. It was damn refreshing to be with someone who preferred to make the plans instead of waiting to be told an agenda. She also thrived on being the center of attention, and he was more than happy to sit back and watch her command a crowd.

Jackson had tried shedding his natural tendencies to take charge of things when he moved to the islands. After playing parent to his sister for five years, he longed for a life where someone else took the lead for a change. Except every time he tried the relationship thing, the women looked to him for everything from positions in the bedroom to what they should have for lunch. The former he didn’t mind. The latter drove him f*cking crazy.

Jilli had once told Jax that on a subconscious level, he purposely chose more submissive women, despite wanting the opposite. That way he never had to worry about a long-term commitment because deep down he knew they weren’t compatible. At the time, he’d called “bullshit” on her female relationship psychobabble. But now he realized just how right she was.

The truth of the matter was, he had been afraid of finding someone he could get serious about. He’d grown rather fond of not having responsibility for anyone other than himself. And regardless of how strong either person was, when it came to relationships, they were a shared responsibility for the other person. As much as he’d loved his sister, for the years he’d taken care of her, he’d felt trapped. He never let her know that, of course. But with the sudden deaths of their parents, finding out he’d been adopted, and then putting his life on hold for half a decade to raise Lucie… Well, it’d been hard not to feel a little overwhelmed.

So yeah. Once he settled in Oahu, the last thing he’d wanted to do was chain himself to another human being, no matter the reason. He’d been perfectly content with his three-month average for keeping the occasional girlfriend and the friends-with-benefits situations he’d enjoyed while they lasted.

Which was why it was a total fluke that he and Vanessa were together in any sort of intimate capacity. Hell, under normal circumstances, even though his dominant demeanor might not have chased her off, her rules would’ve had her running in the opposite direction for sure.

But here they were. Like two halves of a puzzle that filled in the other’s empty spaces, making them whole for the first time. Jax knew in his soul there would never be another woman who completed him so perfectly.

And now that he’d found her, there stood a damn good chance he’d lose her. And he’d have no one to blame but himself.

It wouldn’t matter that things between them had worked out. That they’d had an amazing five days so far and, if his suspicions were right, that they both wanted more time with each other. She’d made her rules to protect herself from ending up with someone who could hurt her in any way like her parents did, and that included someone who lied. Vanessa wouldn’t see only the lies he told that first time. She’d see every minute they spent together as a deception. Everything he’d said to her. Everything he’d done to her. Everything he’d made her feel.

Jax knew he had one shot at this. He needed to show her just how much she meant to him—show her how much he meant to her—and hope like hell it would be enough.

It only took him a few minutes to spread out the blanket and check that all the snacks he’d brought with them hadn’t been jostled open and were still safe in their containers. He planned on cooking her dinner later at his place, but until then, he’d brought fun finger foods to keep their energy up. Because one thing was for certain: he planned on burning through a whole lot of their energy.

Jax shucked everything but his shorts in record time. To say he was anxious to play in his favorite swimming hole with Vanessa was a gross understatement. Turning around, he found her relaxing on a large, flat boulder on the other side of the natural pool. Propped up on her elbows, one leg bent, head hanging back, and a cascade of dark red hair spilling onto the rock below like the waterfall not far away. She looked like a water nymph, sunning herself and tempting men with the strongest resolves to fall under her spell. And he was no exception.

But just as he was about to get in, she said something that had him stopping with one foot hovering over the rippling water.

Without opening her eyes or breaking from her cover-shoot pose, she yelled to him to be heard over the splashes of the waterfall. “You’re taking forever over there. I didn’t realize you had to actually make the blanket before setting it out.”

Oh, really. Her smack talking put a big-ass grin on his face and brought out his playful side.

“Be right in!”

Jogging around the edge of the pool to the path he knew well enough to navigate blind, he climbed up the rock formation to the top of the falls. Once he stood firmly on the large rock that jutted above the flow of the fast-moving water, he cupped his hands around his mouth and called out for the attention of the bathing beauty some thirty feet below.

When she caught sight of him, she scrambled to her feet and yelled something that sounded an awful lot like a dig on his intelligence.

Pretending he hadn’t jumped from this very spot hundreds of times before was probably cruel, but the mischievous teen inside him couldn’t resist a little prank. “Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll be fine! It doesn’t look too bad!”

Without another word he leapt far away from the rock wall’s edge and reveled in the sensation of free falling alongside the rushing water. Feet first, he plunged into the cool depths, feeling instantly revitalized as he sank to the bottom and then pushed up to break the surface.

“Are you out of your mind? You could’ve slipped and cracked your skull open.”

He looked over to see a livid water nymph kneeling and gripping the edge of her rock, glaring at him for all she was worth.

“What’s the matter, Red?” he asked as he swam over to her. “Afraid you’d lose me over a little cliff jump?”

“Of course not. I was worried about finding my way back down the mountain by myself after you bled out like an idiot.”

Damn, he loved that smart mouth of hers. Laughing, he yanked her into the water with him. She squealed in surprise and tried wresting herself from his hold, but he refused to yield. Soon she was laughing with him, and they spent a good half hour splashing and dunking each other in a back and forth game of cat and mouse.

Breathing heavily from their play, they hoisted themselves onto the rock platform she’d been sunning on earlier. Their legs dangled in the water as they leaned back on their hands. She exhaled heavily and stared out at the scenery before them. “This place is magical, Jackson.” She turned to look at him. “Thank you for bringing me. For sharing this part of your life with me.”

Her words had his gut clenching and his heart swelling. He wanted to share so much more with her if she’d let him. And he planned on telling her. But not now. Now he just wanted to lose himself in her smell, her taste, her body. Her.

Leaning over, he kissed her, slow and gentle, savoring the eager response she gave him. He wondered if she had any idea how easily she unraveled him.

He pulled back. “Ever stand under a waterfall?” She shook her head. “Come on.”

Jax guided her over to the right of the main falls where water still fell down the rock wall, but without the amount and force it had in the center. It also had a decent ledge to stand on, being closer to the shoreline. Holding her hand to keep her steady, he helped her until she had secure footing.

A wide smile broke over her face as she lifted her arms in the air to cut through the thin curtain of water spilling behind her. Jax was spellbound, watching her tip her head back and laugh with the sheer joy of experiencing one of Mother Nature’s wonders.

Growing up in a landlocked state, he’d never known he had such an affinity for water until he moved to the islands. The first time he ever saw the Pacific, it called to him like the moon to a lone wolf. And ever since, water had become as much a part of him as his fighting. Which was why sex with an element of water—whether in a shower, hot tub, rain, or waterfall—was such a huge turn-on for him.

And why his cock was thick and straining against the confines of his board shorts.

Jax stepped in to her, crowding her against the rocks that had been smoothed by hundreds of years of streaming water. Her smile died with the firm grip of his hands on either side of her neck. Her breaths turned shallow, her pulse jackhammered under his touch, and her pupils nearly swallowed the green of her eyes.

He brushed a thumb over her lower lip, the way the plump flesh gave way to his touch so goddamn erotic. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” His voice sounded harsh and broken, like he’d lost it the day before and it was only now starting to come back. “Every time I look at you, I f*cking lose my mind.”

“Good.” She raked her nails down his abs, leaving trails of heated desire in their wake. Then she nipped the pad of his thumb. “That makes two of us, then.”

Needing her kiss like he needed to breathe, Jax descended and laid claim to her mouth. He moved his lips over hers, pushing her onto the rock until the water cascaded around her body, a fluid outline of the soft curves that tempted his baser self. Her arms hooked under his, her hands gripped the backs of his shoulders, and she pulled him in so not even air could pass between them.

Shifting the lower half of his body, he positioned one of his legs between hers, grabbed her ass in both hands, and hauled her onto his thigh. Without further instruction, she rolled her hips to slowly grind her sex over his solid muscle. His tongue danced with hers to the music of the rushing falls surrounding them. She tasted of mint, coffee…and her.

No one tasted like her. No one felt like her. No one touched him—physically or emotionally—like her.

“Make love to me, Jackson.”

F*ck, yes. Wait… Gathering every shred of willpower he had, he said, “Not here.”

She retaliated with a, “Yes, here,” and bit his bottom lip before her tongue swept in and scattered his resolve to the four winds.

The woman was dangerous. She had the power to make him lose control, something he’d never experienced before with anyone else. He could easily lose himself in her emerald eyes, from the scent of her skin or the power of her kiss. And he wasn’t sure he’d care if he never found his way back.

Jax shifted his weight and felt his foot slip a little on one of the rocks, reminding him of exactly why he’d said no to begin with. He wrenched his mouth from hers, but before he could reiterate his earlier statement and tack on the safety explanation, one of her hands snaked down to run the length of his stiff cock before lightly squeezing his balls.

He took a sharp intake of breath through clenched teeth and let it out on a groan as he pushed himself into her palm. She looked up at him with an impish smile, clearly proud of herself for eliciting such a reaction from him.

“You think it’s funny when you get me to lose my shit, don’t you?” he asked. She nodded, a glimmer of mischief in eyes framed by wet, spiky lashes. Her lips, swollen and red from his kisses, held the barest hint of a smirk, as though she knew enjoying the moment too much would get her into worse trouble than she already was. Smart woman.

Willful woman.

“Let’s see how funny you think it is when the roles are reversed, princess.”

…

Vanessa became weightless as he picked her up and cradled her in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and looked up to find him staring down at her.

She could almost see the flurry of thoughts in his mind; he looked that intense. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t begin to guess what they were. Did they have to do with what just happened? Or something about her? Were they good or bad? Shit, when did she become so neurotic?

“Everything okay?” she asked.

He blinked, then gave her the smile that made her insides melt. “Better than okay. You hungry?”

“Famished.”

“Good. I brought some things I think you’ll like.”

He carried her over the rocks as easily as if they’d been flat, dry, and she weighed little more than a feather. Such grace in a man so large not only defied basic physics but spat in its face. It also turned her on something fierce.

Once they reached their blankets, Jax set her down and started to rummage around in the small cooler. The sun bounced off his tan skin and the dark images in his tattoo. The waves almost looked as though they rippled from the way his bicep moved with the simplest of motions. She loved his arms. So strong and sure, Vanessa couldn’t remember ever feeling so safe and protected as when Jackson wrapped his arms around her.

Lowering herself to the blanket next to him, she said, “I’m suddenly hungry for something other than food.”

His mouth quirked up in the corner as he turned to look at her. “That’s the dessert menu you’re talking about, babe. That typically comes after the main course.”

She bit her lip for a second and then remembered that one of her coworkers told her that she has special days with her kids where they have dessert for dinner and then watch movies. “But it’s a special day, right? So on special days we should be able to have dessert first.”

“I don’t know,” he hedged. “That sounds an awful lot liking breaking the rules.”

Her jaw dropped a second before he started to laugh. She retaliated by smacking him on the arm and pushing him away when he tackled her for a makeup kiss. She lasted all of two seconds before releasing a fit of giggles from her chest and giving in to the magic of his mouth.

A minute later he set them both to rights again and said they could indeed skip to dessert. So she was confused when he went back to the cooler instead of building on the amazing lip-lock they had going on.

He held up a bottle and two plastic flutes. “Thirsty?”

“Ooh, champagne. Absolutely.”

Holding it over the grass, he freed the cork and waited for the initial foam to stop running from the bottle. He poured both of them half a glass and handed her one, then set the bottle on the lid of the cooler and turned back to her holding a small white box. When their eyes locked, all humor had been replaced by an intense seriousness. Something she hadn’t seen much of from Jackson.

His natural settings were Charm and Flirt. She had a feeling most people rarely saw his serious side. He covered it up with the jokes and playful personality he portrayed so well. But he’d shown her what lay beneath in their talks about their pasts. And he was showing her now…but for what reason this time?

“Champagne and a gift?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “Someone’s stepping up his game.”

“I’m not playing games with you, Vanessa. It’s important to me that you know that.”

For a long time she studied him, hoping his underlying meaning would appear in his caramel eyes or in the stern set of his stubbled jaw. She didn’t find it, but what she did find was sincerity. Something honest, something pure, letting her know she wasn’t just another conquest. Another notch on his headboard.

“I believe you,” she answered softly.

A palpable relief settled over him. “Open it.”

She removed the lid and pulled out a beautiful silver necklace. A two-piece pendant hung from the bottom. At the top, a square aquamarine sea glass bead dangled from its corner, and beneath that was a pewter—

“Starfish.”

She smiled up at him through watery eyes. “Sea star.”

He flashed her that brilliant white smile that hinted at his dimples. “Whatever. Here, let me help you put it on.”

A few seconds later it was fastened and the cool metal of the sea star warmed where it rested in the center of her chest. “I love it, Jackson. Thank you so much.”

“You’re very welcome. Now we can have dessert.” Setting his glass on top of the cooler next to the bottle, he kissed her long and slow. “Take off your suit, then lean back on your elbows. You can leave your legs straight or bend them, but I want them open. ”

“What happened to worrying about spectators?”

“Chances are slim to none, and I find that right now I wouldn’t care if we had a studio audience. I’m taking what’s mine. Now.”

The commanding tone he used during their sexual encounters both surprised her and sent a rush of heat between her legs.

What she hadn’t realized until a couple days ago was that her need for control exhausted and frustrated her. After years of never letting up, her brain desperately needed a break. A chance to let go and trust that someone else could take over and give her what she needed without taking advantage of her vulnerability.

Jackson gave her that.

He was so in tune with her and her body. He’d known she secretly craved to submit her control even before she did. He knew how far he could push her and when it was far enough. And in only the few days they’d been together, he’d somehow trained her subconscious to instantly let go of her need for control when he slipped into his more dominant role with her.

Gazing up at him through her lashes, she did as she was told.

…

Jax watched Vanessa untie all four bows that held her suit to her lithe body and set the dangling scraps to the side. Though she’d used a ton of sunscreen all week to prevent burning her fair skin, she’d still gotten enough sun for a light base and a few new freckles. He’d never thought tan lines were particularly sexy, but he loved how her breasts and the triangle over her sex were still milky white against the light tan everywhere else.

She leaned back as he’d asked, holding herself up on her forearms. Her legs were bent at the knees but only separated by a few inches. He narrowed his eyes just enough to make his point. “Wider, wahine. I want to see how wet you are for me.”

Slowly she spread her legs, and he fought the urge to gulp in breaths of air. Breathe, Jackson.

He needed to make this count. To create a memory so powerful it would stay with her forever, even if the rest of their days together slipped away over time. He could say it was ego, but he knew better than that. It was fear, plain and simple. Fear that she didn’t feel for him as he did for her. Fear that she would leave, and he’d be nothing more than a collection of memories. But memories faded, and the thought of not even having that small place in her life rattled him to his very core.

Jackson locked eyes with her and stretched out on the blanket between her bent legs. The intoxicating scent of her arousal made his mouth water.

His hands gripped her ass. She bit her lip.

His face lowered and held. She held her breath.

His lips met the soft flesh of her inner thigh before his teeth nipped her.

She gasped before dragging in short bursts of air, her hands fisting in the blanket.

He’d normally make her wait, make her beg. Build the anticipation until she was dripping and writhing without him even touching her sex. It sounded cruel, but in reality it only made her orgasms that much more explosive.

But he couldn’t hack it this time. He didn’t have the strength to hold out on her like he should. He needed to taste her, to drink of her, and he needed it right f*cking now.

Feeling weak and selfish, he took exactly what he wanted.

Vanessa cried out the moment his mouth met her wet core. As he feasted, he watched her throw her head back, bowing her body, her pale breasts thrusting up to the sky like an offering to the sun.

Nothing else in the world compared, nor would it ever. Everything about her was unique, and this was no exception.

She felt like silk on his lips as he explored her moist folds, and when he f*cked her with his tongue he thought he’d burn up from her heat and the way her body clamped around it.

“Oh, Jesus, Jax,” she said on a harsh exhale. “You’re killing me.”

Not yet, I’m not.

He moved up slightly and found her *. He flicked over it with the tip of his tongue, then sucked hard, then repeated both steps until her hips began to rock instinctively, searching for that final thing that would make her see stars in the middle of the day.

And he was only too happy to get her there.

He eased three fingers into her opening, knowing she could take them, but staying aware of how tight she was in the beginning. Slowly but firmly he pressed forward, feeling the walls of her channel clamp down on the welcome invasion. Once she’d taken their entire length, he met the rhythm of her hips thrust for thrust and went back to work on her * with his mouth.

She reached through her legs and fisted a handful of his hair like grasping the horn of a saddle as she galloped toward her climax. His dick throbbed, wanting the friction his fingers currently had the pleasure of feeling.

Her breaths became moaning pants, keening cries, and finally a scream that rent the air as her entire body curled into itself, her muscles contracting and then convulsing with the pulses of her release.

Before she had a chance to come down, Jax yanked his shorts off, gently laid her the rest of the way on the ground, and poised himself at her entrance. As her body kissed the sensitive head of his cock, he groaned and pushed in to the hilt. Again her back bowed, but this time her breasts pressed into his chest until she relaxed beneath him.

“Vanessa, baby,” he said, his voice no more than a rasp. “Open your eyes.”

Long auburn lashes fluttered open to reveal lust-hazed eyes the color of wet moss. Her hair had dried partially in the sun, giving it multiple hues from brilliant red to deep mahogany. She was beautiful and amazing and…

“You’re mine. Right here, right now. Only mine.”

She reached up and trailed the tips of her fingers over his brow, down his nose, across his cheekbones, his lips. Finally, she placed her palms on the sides of his face, looked up at him with her heart in her eyes and whispered, “Only yours.”

Two words. Three syllables. Nine letters.

Something so small shouldn’t have such a tremendous power over him. Shouldn’t be able to bring him to his metaphorical knees or make him want to climb mountains if she asked.

But it did. And it felt…right.

Jax took her mouth and then her body. He wanted as much of himself in her as possible. To mark her. Brand her. Claim her.

They moved as one, as though they’d made love thousands of times rather than only a handful. And this time they were connected more than just physically. Everything about being with her like this felt different, more intimate, more…just more.

Holding himself up on one forearm, he let his other hand roam. Over her breast, down her side, her hip. A quick squeeze of her ass, then down the outside of her thigh before hooking under her knee and pulling it forward to allow him in that little bit more.

Their kiss broke off as they both needed more air. Her hands found his back and her nails found his skin. When he dragged his teeth down the cord in her neck and bit, he felt a shudder ripple through her.

As he continued to pump into her, their hands and mouths and tongues and teeth explored every inch they could reach. Somewhere along the way he’d lost his mind, unable to gather a coherent thought to save his life. Their movements became more feverish, the coming together of their bodies more explosive. It was like a runaway train heading toward the unfinished bridge that would send them careening into space before they knew what had happened.

But Jax didn’t want that. He wanted to be aware of every passing second, to hear every hitch of her breath and see every emotion on her face.

He deliberately slowed his rhythm and lifted his head to peer down at her.

“No,” she whined. “Faster. So close!”

“I know, baby. I’ll get you there.” She opened her mouth to argue or maybe even beg, but he cut her off. “Vanessa, trust me. Let me make love to you.”

She drew the center of her lip between her teeth for a moment then nodded her head.

Though the pace had lessened, the intensity had not. He thrust hard and still hit deep. Her heat and the way her body gripped his cock on every withdrawal killed him over and over again. It was the sweetest death he hoped to never survive.

“You’re so f*cking perfect, you know that?”

Her eyes filled with tears until they spilled over her temples. She grabbed onto the back of his neck, her fingers splaying into the hair at his nape. “Jackson, I think I might… Oh, God, I think I—”

“Shhh. No more words, baby.” He was pretty sure he knew what she’d been trying to say, and though he wanted to hear her say it more than he wanted his next breath, he wouldn’t handle it well if later she told him it was a heat-of-the-moment thing. Those words should never be uttered for the first time during sex. Ever. “Feel my skin on yours. Feel me inside you. Feel how perfect you fit me. Just feel, okay?”

Again she nodded, losing more tears. Jax adjusted his position, lifting up slightly to make sure his weight wasn’t crushing her. When she gasped on his next thrust, he realized he’d found the bull’s-eye. Keeping the slow and steady pace, he hit it again. And again. And again. Each time pushing her closer and closer to that waterfall edge, and each time feeling himself follow her that much more.

Her eyes started to drift closed as the tension consumed her. “Keep them open, Vanessa. Watch me. I want to look into your eyes when I make you come. I want to see you acknowledge who does this to you, who makes you feel this way.”

She didn’t argue, didn’t deflect. She simply obeyed. And knowing she did so, no matter how far from her comfort zone it led her, was the last addition to his perfect storm for both of them.

This time Vanessa’s cry stuck in her throat. Her body tensed, eyes widened and lips parted, but nothing came out. She was a living, silent work of art. The feel of her p-ssy milking him hurtled him over the edge, and with one last drive forward, he buried himself as far as he could go and spilled himself deep inside, branding her the way she had already branded herself on his heart.

…

As they lay on the blanket, her back to his chest and legs intertwined, Vanessa released a long exhale and snuggled into him a little more.

“You know,” she said, her eyes still closed and a lazy grin on her face, “the last few days have been great. But today…” Her head turned, her bright green eyes searching his. “Today has been absolutely perfect. Thank you so much for this.”

Bending his head, he placed a tender kiss on her swollen lips. “Believe me, it’s been my pleasure.”

Jax tightened his arms around her, wanting to obliterate any space between them as if it could prevent her from putting it there once he dropped the bomb he had to tell her.

There’d been plenty of times in Jax’s life he should have been nervous. When he was eighteen and had to appear before the court to fight for his right of legal guardianship over Lucie, he’d been prepared to win. When he picked up at the age of twenty-three and moved halfway around the world on his own, he’d been determined to start fresh. Before every professional match in his career, he’d been hungry for the fight. But he’d never allowed himself to feel nervous in any of those situations. He believed in mind over matter and in being in control of his own destiny.

And telling Vanessa that he wanted more from her—that he wanted a shot at something real with her—was no different than any of those. He loved her. Convincing her of his feelings and to listen to her heart instead of her rules was a challenge he was confident he could win.

There was only one thing standing in his way. One thing that had the potential to take that “win” and blow it right out of the water.

His lie.

And that’s where the nerves came in. For the first time in his adult life he was more afraid of losing a “forever” relationship than getting in one.

He should’ve confessed the truth to her a dozen times over the last five days. In the beginning, he’d been worried about pissing her off or pissing his sister off. But after kissing her that first night, he’d been afraid of pushing her away. Of losing something he couldn’t even identify at the time. All he’d known was he didn’t want to take the chance, and that hopefully he could win her over enough so that her feelings for him overshadowed his deception.

And now that the time was here, he held on to that hope with both fists as he pushed open the door to the lion’s den.

“Vanessa,” he finally forced past the lump in his throat. “I want to talk to you about something, but I want you to let me finish before you say anything.”

“No interruptions? You’re asking quite a lot of me, big guy.”

He kissed her shoulder. “I have faith in you.”

She shifted on the blanket until she lay fully on her back, but the sun glaring across her face caused her to squint and lift a hand for protection. Jax propped himself up on his elbow to cast her in his shadow. Being able to look down on her was simply a bonus.

Lowering her arm, she sighed dramatically. “My hero.”

His smile matched hers. Easy and carefree, the way a smile should be. He’d never seen her more beautiful than she was at that moment. Areas of her body glowed pink where his beard had irritated her skin the way she loved, dark pink nipples showed signs of his mouth’s attention, and true contentment shone in her half-lidded eyes and lazy grin.

But the sexiest thing ever was his bite mark in the front of her hip. He traced the red outline with his finger and felt a shudder run through her body.

Mine.

“I love seeing my marks on your skin, you know that?”

She bit the corner of her lip and gave a slight nod. He captured her chin and used his thumb to free her lip before tracing it once, twice. “If it weren’t for the wedding in a couple of days, I’d have marked you so everyone could see it. So they know you belong to me.”

Jax knew he took a big risk using dominant phrases with a woman like Vanessa. In her daily life she prided herself on her independence. On being in charge of herself and her life. On submitting to no one, especially a man. And he loved that about her. Her spunk, her drive, her stubborn streak. They were all things he found incredibly attractive.

But he needed her to understand she didn’t always have to be that way. It wasn’t completely who she was, but rather the way she’d built herself to be for her own protection. With him, she could let her guard down and let him take the lead. Trust in him to always take care of her, to know her needs and her wants, and know he’d always be loyal.

“I’ve never belonged to anyone,” she said softly. “Not even my mother. Not really, anyway.”

“That’s because there’s never been anyone in your life worthy enough to claim you.”

“And you?” She reached up and placed her hand along his cheek. “You are worthy enough?”

“Hell no,” he said, grabbing her fingers and pressing a warm kiss to the center of her palm. “But I promise I’ll always give you what you need. And whether you’re calling the shots or I am, you’ll always come first.”

A mischievous grin sprouted and her eyes twinkled. “I definitely like the sound of that last part.”

He chuckled, catching her meaning. “That’s not what I meant—which you well know—but, yes, in that respect as well. I couldn’t count myself a man otherwise.”

“Certainly not my man, that’s for sure,” she said, laughing.

She hadn’t said it—not really—but it was so close that his heart tripped over itself. He sobered and gazed deeply into her eyes. He needed to hear her say it. At least once before he ruined everything. “Am I yours, V?”

Jax saw the warring thoughts behind those deep green pools. Walls of tears gathered, and yet nothing fell from the corners when she blinked and a heavy sigh escaped her lips. His gut twisted into a mass of knots and his entire body tensed.

Just as he feared the worst, she whispered, “I can’t think of anything I want more.”

He’d never anticipated hearing such sweet words. His heart pounded so hard he felt the vibrations in his ribs. Smiling like a complete idiot, he prepared to kiss her breathless.

She held a hand up between them. “But—”

“No,” he said firmly. “No ‘buts.’ We can hash out details and logistics and whatever else later. What matters is how we feel and that we want to be together.”

That I love you. But he couldn’t say it out loud yet, even though he felt it in the very marrow of his bones. So much had happened so fast. What they just said was a huge step for both of them. When they finally reached the point of admitting to love, it would be monumental, and he wanted the moment to be perfect.

“Okay,” she said. “No ‘buts’…yet.”

“Fair enough.” And with that, he kissed her breathless. Arms and legs wrapped around each other, hands stroked, tongues danced. Adrenaline from the victory coursed through his veins like a potent drug.

He hated to lose that feeling, and yet he knew it was time for the last part of the conversation. The part that could irrevocably shatter everything he’d just gained.

Drawing back, he pressed his forehead to hers. One side of her face was cushioned by the inside of his upper arm, the other side framed with his free hand. The knots and tension crept back into the fibers of his muscles, causing them to burn like he’d just worked the bags at the gym.

“Hey,” she whispered. “What’s wrong? You’ve gone all hard on me. And not in a good way.”

“There’s something else I need to tell you.”

“You’re not looking to bring Jilli into this equation, are you? Because I’ve gotta tell you, as hot as she is, I’m extremely selfish where you’re concerned, and I refuse to share.”

Despite his nerves threatening to give him a stroke, he actually chuckled. “Never. You’re more than enough for me, pupule wahine.”

“I keep forgetting to ask someone what that means. Are you ever going to tell me?”

“Maybe someday. The literal translation kind of ruins the beauty of the words. Why, don’t you like it?”

She shrugged her shoulder. “It sounds pretty, and I like that it’s something you only use with me.” Black lashes narrowed over green eyes. “Right?”

“Only you, I promise.”

“Then I guess I can wait. Or maybe I’ll remember to ask a native,” she finished with a sly grin. “Now, what is it you wanted to tell me?”

Jax took a deep breath and let it out, trying to release his tension without success. “Remember our encounter at the airport?”

“How could I forget?” she said wryly.

“I went there expecting… Well, I’m not really sure. But I sure as hell wasn’t expecting a fiery Scot who refused to be charmed and made it a point to call me out on my bullshit.”

“You underestimated me. That was your first mistake,” she said very matter-of-factly with a single haughty brow raised. He’d found her arrogance sexy back then, and he found it the same now.

“You’re right. But I made a much bigger mistake after that. It’s just that I’d never met anyone like you. You intrigued the hell out of me, and when you tried taking your bag back and you fell into me, I lost it. It was like a switch that I didn’t even know I had got flipped, and I wanted—no, needed—to spend time with you.”

He closed his eyes briefly, ordering himself to continue when all he wanted to do was forget the whole thing as he buried himself deep inside her again and again. But starting something based on a lie was destined to crumble, whether it was a month from now or in ten years.

“You dismissed me, V. Said good-bye and that you’d see me at the wedding, so I—”

A short, tinny melody played from the direction of his backpack. He recognized it as the text message alert on her phone. She reached over to grab it from the side pocket, but he held her arm. “Don’t worry about it. You can check it later.”

“Jax, what if it’s Robért with a wedding emergency? Lucie and Reid will be here tomorrow and if everything isn’t taken care of, she’s liable to have a panic attack. It’ll just take a second.”

She planted a firm kiss on his mouth and then rolled over to retrieve the phone. He blew out a heavy breath and ran a hand through his hair. He felt like he’d been trying to tell her the truth for two hours instead of two minutes. Confessions f*cking sucked.

Vanessa gasped and cried, “Oh my God.”

Her tone was one of terror, her fingers covering her mouth as she stared at the screen of her phone with tear-filled eyes. There wasn’t a wedding problem in the world that garnered that severe of a reaction.

“What is it?”

“My sister. She’s in the hospital.” V looked at him like he’d never seen her. Lost. “She was s-severely beaten.”

Five minutes to pack up camp and another thirty minutes to hike back down the mountain to where she finally got full cell service again. Up at the falls she didn’t have enough for a call to go through, but thankfully she heard her sister’s text coming in.

Instead of wasting more time heading back to the Mau Loa, Jackson suggested they hang out at his place so she could talk to her sister and find out what the situation was.

When they’d parked earlier, he’d done so next to a small white cottage with bay windows. It was old with wooden siding and weathered shutters, but it had a certain quaint charm about it. She hadn’t asked whose it was, and he hadn’t offered. But now she had a pretty good idea, since he was unlocking the front door and letting them in. He flipped the lights on and closed the door after her.

Sky blue paint disguised what appeared to be wood paneling and a worn Berber carpet the same color as the sand on the beaches covered the floors. The kitchen to the left was small but functional-looking for a bachelor. The living room had a set of tan couches and a matching easy chair facing the TV. Down a short hallway looked to be a couple of rooms, most likely the bedroom and bathroom. He didn’t have much as far as decor. No window treatments, no paintings on the walls. Though he did have a small shelving unit with pictures of his family and trophies.

Vanessa wasn’t sure what she’d expected Jackson’s home to look like, but she hadn’t pictured this. She had no idea what a UFC fighter made, but apparently they fought for love of the sport and not the money. Not that it mattered one way or the other. He could live out of his Jeep for all she cared. But if this was how he had to live as a champion, what would happen when he couldn’t fight at all anymore?

Rule #3: Never date a man without a stable future.

Shut the hell up, Rules!

“Uh, I know it’s not much, but I don’t really require a whole lot.” He started picking up a few stray pieces of clothing and threw them into what she assumed was his bedroom. “I wouldn’t have given the maid the day off if I knew you were coming.”

She blinked in surprise. “You have a maid?”

His amber eyes softened. “No, baby, it was a joke,” he said, gathering her into his arms. “Sorry, now isn’t the time. I was just trying to break the tension.”

Vanessa held on tight, her face pressed against his strong chest, and inhaled his unique scent as though he’d thrown it to her as a lifeline.

“Why don’t you try her again?”

She shook her head and pulled back to stare at the silent phone in her hand. “I left a voice mail and several texts already. She must not be able to call back yet. I just have to wait.”

And she’d never felt more helpless. Knowing her baby sister was in a hospital somewhere alone, bruised and battered… It was tearing her up inside.

“Come sit down with me before you collapse.”

He sat in the corner of the couch, and then tucked her into his side with her legs draped across his lap. One arm wrapped around her back, and he rubbed the outside of her leg in gentle, reassuring strokes.

“If I could have one wish—anything at all—it would be to go back in time and never leave home until Kat was out of school. Then I could’ve taken her with me.” Tears scalded her cheeks. “God, why didn’t I think of that back then?”

“Because you needed to get out of that house, too. You deserved a chance at a future, Vanessa. You weren’t Kat’s mother. It wasn’t your responsibility to put your life on hold for her.”

She pulled back to meet his eyes. “Why the hell not? You did.”

He frowned. “I did what?”

“You put your life on hold for your little sister. You did the right thing.”

“Baby, it’s not the same, and you know it.”

Vanessa pushed off his lap and stood. She felt like a thousand watts of electricity were zipping through her veins, evaporating her blood cells along the way.

“Bullshit it’s not. And look what happened,” she said, pointing to the door as if her best friend stood there plain as day. “Lucie is a well-adjusted, successful adult because you didn’t leave her with people who couldn’t care less about her.”

“Vanessa,” he snapped, unfolding to his full height in front of her. “You need to stop blaming yourself for Kat’s life. Lucie didn’t turn out as she did because of me. I can’t take credit for her accomplishments, just as I can’t take the blame for when she made the worst mistake of her life and married that a*shole in Vegas.”

Vanessa tried turning to walk out the door, but he grabbed her arm and held fast. “Let go, Jackson. You don’t get it. You’ll never understand because you didn’t f*ck up.”

“No, damn it, I won’t let go. I’m not letting you walk away from this just because it makes you uncomfortable. I’m here for you, whether you like it or not.” Without releasing her arm, he lifted his other hand to hold the side of her face. “I get that you’ve had a lot of people let you down in your life, but I am not one of those people.”

An overwhelming concoction of emotions twisted inside her. Fear, helplessness, anger, regret… They expanded as they swirled, threatening to burst from her pores to taint everyone around her. But as she let Jackson’s light eyes penetrate deep into her soul, she felt the devotion, faith, and trust they had for each other overpowering the others until they were only a murmur in the back of her mind.

She tried smiling but failed as more tears spilled over. “I’m really scared for her.”

“I know you are, baby. Come here.”

Again, Vanessa let him envelop her in the safety of his embrace. Listening to the steady beat of his heart seemed to regulate hers, as if it couldn’t stand not to be in sync with his. Though she was still worried sick for Kat, Vanessa knew there was no other place she’d rather be in that moment than in Jackson’s arms.

“Are you hungry?”

She shook her head. “I couldn’t eat now if I wanted.”

“Then let’s go back to the couch while we wait for her call. I’ll try to rub some of the tension out of your shoulders.”

He kissed the crown of her head and pulled her to the couch again, only this time he situated her between his legs and facing away from him. Sitting sideways, she pulled her knees up to her chest, let her head drop down, and tried to relax as his hands worked under her shirt on the knots in her back.

They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity but had only been ten minutes when her phone rang with her sister’s caller ID. Leaping off the couch, she pressed the green button and shoved the cell to her ear.

“Kat! Where are you? What happened?”

“Nessie, calm down or you’ll give yourself a coronary. Then we’ll both be in the hospital.”

The weak and raspy voice of Vanessa’s baby sister was almost unrecognizable. Chills formed goose bumps on her flesh, immediately chased by the heat of righteous anger.

“I’ll calm down as soon as you tell me what happened and where to find the soon-to-be-dead a*shole responsible,” she ground through a clenched jaw.

Kat sighed on the other end, no doubt resigning herself to the fact that Vanessa had no intentions of calming down about anything. “I’m okay, Nessie. Just a little banged up.” There was a pregnant pause, and then a mumbled, “This time.”

“What do you mean, ‘this time’? So help me God, Kat, if you don’t start spilling your guts I will hire every P.I. in the country until I find you, upon which I will kidnap you and hold you prisoner for your own damn good.”

“I don’t need your protection, Ness,” Kat bit out.

“Oh, really? Then why the hell are you in a hospital?”

Another sigh. “This is a special situation. Lenny got mixed up with owing money to the wrong people. When he couldn’t pay…” Vanessa almost heard her sister shrug through the phone. “They said they wanted to put a little fear of God into him. So they roughed me up so he could find me when he got home.”

“Oh my God.” Vanessa sank back onto the couch. Her mind barely registered Jackson rubbing her back, but her body lost some of its tension and her heart didn’t race quite so fast. “How much does Lenny owe them?”

Silence.

“Kat! How much?”

“Twenty thousand dollars.”

“Holy—”

“I’m so sorry, Nessie, I know it’s a lot of money, and it absolutely kills me to have to ask you. You know that. But I don’t know what else to do. They said they’d kill Lenny if he didn’t come up with the money and they’d just take me as payment instead.”

Kat’s words had become less coherent every second until at last all she could manage was broken, choking sobs. Vanessa’s heart rent in two. She wanted to sob right along with her sister, but she took a deep breath and used her big-sister voice.

“Okay, Kitty Kat, take it easy. Listen to me now.” She kept her tone soft but firm, just as she had when they were younger and Vanessa needed Kat to follow her instructions. “I want you to take some deep breaths. That’s it, settle down. Everything’s going to be all right. I’ll fix it, I promise.”

Kat’s shaky breaths were followed by sniffles and then finally silence.

“Good. Now how much time do you have before they come to collect again?”

“Two days.”

“Two days? I’ve never understood that about thugs. If you don’t have the money now, what makes them think you can magically make it appear in two goddamn days?” She put her head in her hand and rubbed absently at her temple. “Okay, let me think. I have some in savings, but the rest will have to come from my 401K, but that’ll take a few days to even process. Will they take a down payment as an act of good faith? What am I saying? They’re criminals; they don’t know the meaning of good faith.”

“Tell her she’ll have it by tomorrow.”

Vanessa spun around on the couch and stared at Jackson. “What did you say?”

“You heard me. Tell her.”

“Jax,” she said, “maybe you thought you heard her say two thousand, but—”

“It’s a cell phone, V. The conversation might as well be in the room. I know she needs twenty Gs.”

Vanessa glanced around the cottage as inconspicuously as possible, looking for signs that the man she loved wasn’t in fact as destitute as he seemed.

“I know it doesn’t seem like it,” he said with an amused smirk, “but I’m doing pretty well for myself. Trust me when I say I can give her the money.”

“Loan,” Vanessa argued. “You’re loaning me the money, with interest, and I’m paying you back.”

“We’ll arm wrestle about it later. Just tell her to find a place nearby that accepts money transfers— No, you know what?” His eyes narrowed and his jaw set like he’d been challenged and was now readying for a fight. “Find out where she is. We’ll fly out there to make sure that man of hers doesn’t f*ck it up again. That way the debt gets paid without any more problems.”

Vanessa’s heart swelled ten times its normal size. At any moment, she expected to see it pushing between her ribs, it was so full of love for the man in front of her. She kissed him hard and fast and mouthed the words thank you before resuming the conversation with her sister and getting all the information needed to carry out Jax’s plan.

After going over the details several times to be sure there was no room for miscommunication, and then telling Kat she loved her and would see her soon, Vanessa hung up the phone and collapsed back against Jackson’s chest.

He wrapped his arms around her and rested his cheek on top of her head. “If you have her cell number, why aren’t you ever able to talk to her?”

“That’s a cell phone that’s programmed with only my number in it. Lenny doesn’t know she has it. Since she’s always refused my help, it was the one concession I got so she had some way of reaching me in case of emergency or to just let me know when she moves to a new city. She doesn’t use it as often as I’d like, but it’s better than nothing. When she’s not using it, it’s turned off and hidden so Lenny doesn’t find it.”

A sad smile attempted to curve her mouth up but didn’t quite succeed. “Sometimes I call it just to leave her a voice mail about my day or to let her know I’m thinking of her and miss her.”

“I bet she likes that.”

“I don’t know,” she mused. “She’s never mentioned them.”

“Sounds like she’s stubborn and has a lot of pride. Kind of like someone else I know.”

That, along with the kiss he placed on her neck, brought a genuine smile to her face. For him to accomplish that in one of her darkest moments said a lot about his effect on her. And it didn’t even send her into a panic. Apparently miracles were possible.

Jackson got up from the couch and grabbed his phone, letting her know he planned to have the travel agent at the resort book their flights. As he did that, she grabbed a bottle of water from his fridge and settled on the couch, letting her head fall back between sips of the cool liquid.

“Yes, departing Honolulu and arriving in Nashville… The next flight out… One ticket for myself and the other for Miss MacGregor.”

Vanessa’s head snapped up. Miss MacGregor?

“No, they’re arriving tomorrow. Place them in their original bungalow and keep the other one for Miss MacGregor upon her return… Great. We’ll be there shortly to pick up our things and the itineraries. Mahalo.”

Jackson hung up and looked over at her. “Ready to go? The next flight leaves in a couple of hours.”

Something told Vanessa to not ask. To let it go. It was a minute detail in the grand scheme of things right now. But in her profession, she knew it was those seemingly irrelevant details that sometimes made the difference between guilty and not guilty.

“Jackson, why did the lady at the resort recognize my real name?”

Lowering his head to his chest, he scrubbed a hand over his head several times before meeting her gaze again. “That’s what I was trying to tell you before you got Kat’s text.”

“You told the resort my real identity?”

“Not exactly.” He leaned his hips back on the short kitchenette counter and gripped the edge with his hands like it was the only thing holding him upright. “More like the resort has known your real identity the whole time.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I was trying to explain earlier that from the first time we met, you knocked me on my ass. Intrigue and lust are a damn potent combination that I’d never experienced before. You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met, and when you basically told me you had no desire to see me until the wedding…I said the first thing that came to mind that would ensure we had to spend a whole lot of time together.”

Vanessa’s insides began to vibrate, her body’s reaction to what her mind was processing. And still she didn’t want to believe it. “I didn’t have to check in as Lucie. Did I.” She left off the inflection at the end. It wasn’t a question if she already knew the answer.

“No,” he said. “You didn’t.”

“Which means you didn’t need to check in as Reid, or at all for that matter.”

“No. They were aware you would be standing in for Lucie for the week.”

“How deep does the lie go, Jackson? You fed me all that bullshit about the Mau Loa being such an exclusive resort with the high security and strict policies crap. But I’m sure there’s more,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “There always is.”

“The part about guests needing multiple IDs is true, and no one has been allowed to accept someone else’s reservation until you.”

She actually snorted at the very idea. “It’s one thing to lie, but don’t insult my intelligence, too, Maris. I know Reid’s a big shot in the world of MMA, but he’s no Donald Trump or Brad Pitt. An exclusive resort—which you’re adamant the Mau Loa is—doesn’t lift one of their strictest policies for someone like him.”

“You’re right,” he said, holding her eyes with a meaningful look. “Unless of course he happens to be friends with one of the owners.”

“Who’s the…” Her voice trailed off as it suddenly dawned on her. Vanessa squinted at him as if through a pair of X-ray glasses that allowed her to see him as he truly was for the first time.

No answer, other than a slight tic in his jaw, which was answer enough for her.

He was an owner of the Mau Loa? It didn’t add up. He lived out of a run-down cottage, with a Jeep and a surfboard. She’d seen no evidence of any material items to prove he had much more than a pot to piss in, much less had the kind of net worth he was talking about.

“I’m a silent partner, V, and I don’t even own half. But I own enough to make sure I have a real comfortable nest egg should I ever get injured and can’t fight anymore. And it’s enough to break the policies for my sister and her best friend if I need to.”

“Wow.” Staring at a nick in the paneling across from her, she let the familiar feeling of betrayal spread through her like a virus. “I can only imagine the laughs you and God only knows how many other staff members had at my expense all week.”

“Vanessa, that’s not how it was at all. No one there even knows I’m an owner. And to be honest with you—”

“Now he wants to be honest,” she mumbled.

“I planned on telling you the truth when I bought you the drink at the bar, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was afraid you’d be pissed and wouldn’t give me the time of day after that.”

“You were probably right.”

“See? So—”

“It doesn’t matter. You lied to me, Jackson. And not just once, but every second of every day. And even worse, you made me lie, even after you knew how I felt about it,” she shouted. “I’ve heard of guys doing some crazy things to get in a girl’s pants, but you take the f*cking cake.”

“That’s not what I—”

“Bullshit! Listen to how pathetic your excuse is. You couldn’t stand the idea of not spending time with me, so instead of being yourself and trying to get back in my good graces, you manipulated the situation so your chances were better.”

She pressed her fingers into her temples to quell the pain that had been a dull ache when she got her sister’s text, but which was now about as dull as a scalpel. Taking some deep breaths through her nose, she tried sorting through the myriad of thoughts spinning in her head…and made a shocking realization.

“My God,” she said softly, dropping her hands and looking up at him. “I broke all my rules for you.” Lying, relinquishing control, dating a man who used his fists when angered, dating a man whom I’d thought wasn’t financially stable, willing to see him more than three days, and I shirked my responsibilities for work on multiple occasions. And then of course, there’s the big one, isn’t there? “Every. Last. One. I need to get out of here.” She sprang from the couch and brushed by him on her way to the door.

“V—”

True to his M.O., he grabbed her arm to prevent her from leaving until he decided the conversation was over. But she wouldn’t go along with it this time.

“Let go of my arm, Jackson, or so help me God I will claw your goddamn eyes out.”

His jaw clenched and nostrils flared as his instincts no doubt warred with her command. But after a moment, he released her.

“I’m going to call a cab and wait for it outside. If you so much as step a toe over that threshold, I’ll scream bloody murder until half of Oahu comes, do you hear me?”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m getting my things and going to Nashville, alone and without your money. At this point, it would feel like a payment for services rendered,” she said thickly as she begged the tears in her eyes to wait just a little longer, “and I made it a point to never go into the family business.”

He flinched, the look on his face a mix of shock and pain, like he’d just been sucker punched below the belt. But she refused to let it affect her and turned to leave. That was it; she was done. There was nothing left to say.

Then again…

She met his eyes in the reflection of the glass. Her voice shaky. “You were the only person to ever make me break Rule #1.”

“I don’t think you ever told me that rule,” he said, his voice scratchy and barely audible.

She glanced back, and damn it if the motion didn’t jostle the hot tears loose to spill over her cheeks. Swallowing past the painful lump in her throat, she smiled wanly and said, “You’re right. I didn’t.”

The slam of the screen door against its metal frame echoed in the night sky, the death knell for both their perfect day and the small bit of hope she’d harbored for their future.

“What do you mean she checked herself out?” Vanessa demanded in her best prosecutor voice as she stood in the security line at the airport. “She has a concussion. Aren’t you supposed to hold her there for observation?”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but there’s nothing more I can tell you,” said the annoyed night-shift nurse. “She refused further treatment and checked herself out about thirty minutes ago.”

The line moved forward all of ten inches. Vanessa readjusted the strap of her carry-on higher onto her shoulder, took a step forward, and pulled her suitcase to her side again. “Well, did she leave on her own or was someone with her? Check with the other nurses; maybe she left me a message.”

In the distant background, she registered the voice of a teenage boy saying something to her, but she didn’t have time to pay attention to him. Kat had vanished, seemingly without a f*cking trace, if she was to believe this nitwit of a nurse.

“Again, ma’am, I’d like to help—”

“You don’t understand,” Vanessa pressed. “I’m about to board a plane to come see her. She’s expecting me to come to the hospital for her, so why on earth would she leave? It doesn’t make any sense!”

Again, the teenager called something out. Again she ignored him. “Is there someone else I can talk to? Perhaps the nurse who actually took care of her before letting a concussed and beaten woman leave your damn facility?”

“Hey, lady!”

Vanessa whipped around to slice the surfer teen to ribbons with her eyes. “What!”

He flinched, but then gestured to the now ten-foot gap between her and the man in front of her. “Can you please move forward?”

Just as she was about to pick up her suitcase and lay into the nurse again, she realized she no longer heard that sound of space that came through a cell phone even when the other side was completely silent. Taking the phone away from her ear, she glanced at the screen to see that her call had ended. Considering she had full service in the airport and the nurse had been speaking on a landline, chances were pretty good the nurse had used the opportunity to hang up on her.

Mumbling a weak apology to the people behind her, she backtracked through the several rows of winding roped-off path and exited the airport in a trance, finally coming to rest on a stone bench.

Fear and worry gripped Vanessa’s chest, squeezing like a vise until she found breathing difficult. Why would Kat have left the hospital? Did those thugs come back to threaten her some more? She supposed it was possible, but generally when someone was given a time frame to come up with money by less-than-savory characters, they didn’t show up a few hours later to reiterate the deal.

Which meant Kat either left on her own even though she knew Vanessa had been on her way with the money…or Lenny had shown up and convinced her it was time to run again.

F*cking Lenny. Her hands curled into fists so tight she’d probably find crescent-shaped bruises on her palms later. If she ever came face-to-face with that loser, she’d kick him so hard in the balls, he’d choke on his own dick.

“Can I get you a cab, nani wahine?”

Vanessa lifted her gaze to see an older man in a porter uniform smiling at her with kind brown eyes. “I’m sorry, what did you call me?”

“Nani wahine. It means beautiful woman.”

“Woman,” she said. “So then what does pupule wahine mean?”

He chuckled, his big belly jerking up and down with the small effort. “Pupule wahine means crazy woman.”

Crazy woman. The beautiful-sounding nickname Jax had given her was…an insult? Didn’t that just figure. New tears sprung, and she barked a short, hysterical laugh before covering her mouth with a hand.

The man sat next to her and spoke softly as though afraid of startling her. “You don’t look crazy to me, ku’uipo. You look tired. Is someone coming for you?”

She absently fingered the sea star around her neck. No, no one ever came for her. She shook her head.

“Then let me help you to a cab so you can get wherever you’re going and get some rest, hmm?”

Rest? While her heart bled for a man who wasn’t worth it and her sister was injured and most likely on the run to God knew where? At this point, rest was a pipe dream, but she nodded anyway. She couldn’t sit outside the Honolulu airport all night.

After instructing the driver to take her to the farthest hotel from the Mau Loa and a fifteen-minute drive, she checked in and slipped the guy at the counter a fifty dollar bill to change her name in the computer so she couldn’t be tracked down. Just in case.

She found her room, entered, and almost jumped out of her skin when the heavy door slammed back into place and echoed against the artless walls. The hum of the window AC unit was deafening in the silence, the air shooting from the vents billowing the tacky window treatments covered in, what else, but— “Sea stars.”

Swallowing past the tightness in her throat, she dropped her bags and sat on the scratchy bedspread that matched the curtains.

“Definitely the farthest thing from Mau Loa,” she mumbled.

Vanessa toed off her shoes, grabbed a pillow, and curled onto her side. Her stomach hurt from clenching into knots all night, her eyelids felt lined with sandpaper, and her chest physically ached where her heart still beat. The slow and steady rap against her ribs defied her to claim it broken.

Logic told her it was no less healthy than the day she arrived in Oahu. But the tears streaming from the corners of her eyes to darken the faded sea stars under her cheek told a much different story.