Day 6: Friday
Jackson strode through the lobby of the Mau Loa and out into the lavish pool area. It was just past noon on a typically beautiful Hawaiian day. Not a cloud in the powder blue sky, sun beating down to warm the white sandy beaches, and the aquamarine waves ebbed and flowed in perfect rhythm. And Jax noticed none of it.
All night he’d paced in his trailer, out of his trailer. Laid down to sleep and only tossed left before turning right, punching pillows and adjusting his sheets as if they were the reasons for his discomfort and not his guilty-as-fuck conscience.
He should have never let her leave. Not alone. Not like she did. The hurt in her eyes and the tears on her cheeks had pierced him through the chest. He hadn’t been able to breathe, much less move, for several minutes. And when he finally snapped out of it enough to get his shit together, he fought with himself on whether or not to act on his instinct and go to her or respect her wish for space.
After grabbing the door handle and releasing it at least half a dozen times, he watched her cab pull up and whisk her away from him once again. Only this time he wouldn’t do anything to trick her into giving him another chance. He’d already learned that lesson the hard way. A lesson he knew damn well to begin with but was too much of a * to own up to, and look where that had gotten him. Hurting the only woman he’d ever loved other than his mother and sister.
His sandals sank into warm sand. He blinked and realized he’d somehow successfully navigated through the throng of guests without remembering a single step. He wondered if this was how prisoners on Death Row felt on the way to their sentence. Because when he reached his destination and told Lucie he was leaving, she was going to kill him. And if she didn’t, Reid would. Jax mentally shrugged in resignation—it didn’t matter who wanted him dead; nothing they could say would change his mind—and continued walking.
I just need one more chance. But honestly, did he even deserve one? That was the question that had plagued him all morning as he forced himself through a training session at the gym. Hitting the bags and running on the treadmill until puking had felt cathartic.
In the end, he made the decision he’d known he would all along. He was flying to Nashville to find Vanessa, help her help her sister, and take care of the money drop with the thugs. He just hoped to Christ he wasn’t too late.
“Maris!”
Jax turned his head in the direction of a familiar voice coming from the Moana Bar on the beach. Changing his direction, he walked over to embrace his best friend in a manly, no-more-than-three-seconds, back-thumping hug.
“Lookin’ a little soft in the middle there, Andrews. Is it retirement or my sister that’s turning you into a marshmallow?”
“You’re full of shit,” Reid said, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m still in top physical condition. Besides, you and I both know all it would take is one right hook from me and you’d be on your ass.”
Jax scoffed. “You tried that once before and I caught you in a flying arm bar, if I remember correctly.” He gave his friend a wicked grin and poured a little salt on the old wound. “Had you tapping out like a little bitch.”
Reid narrowed his eyes and pointed a finger at him. “That happened once and it was a lucky finish.”
Jax slapped his hand away and they both laughed, turning to the bar. “So why are you here and not with Lucie?”
“I’m playing the role of dutiful husband-to-be and getting her one of those blue drinks she saw everywhere. She said something about it officially kicking off her vacation.”
Jax stared past Reid’s shoulder to the azure water and grunted at the memory of Vanessa wanting the same thing.
“Hey, man, what’s up with you? You look like pure shit.”
Cutting his eyes back to his friend, he said, “Why did I want to see you again?”
“Cut the bullshit, Jax. What the hell happened between you and Vanessa?”
Jax nearly jumped Reid right then. “You talked to her? What did she say?”
“Whoa!” Reid placed a hand on Jax’s chest and firmly pressed until he was out of his personal space. “I don’t know anything, man. She called Lu just before I came out here. All I know is that she’s not here like she should be and you’re edgy as fuck, which tells me something went down between you two.”
Jax leaned on the bar, ordered a beer, and picked out a swizzle straw from the jar to give his gnashing teeth a reason to gnash. He didn’t want to admit how badly he’d fucked things up with V to his sister or his best friend. It was bad enough he had to admit it to himself.
“Shit, dude.” Reid blew out a heavy breath and leaned on the bar next to him. “You fucked her, didn’t you?”