Chapter Forty-Two
Three months ago I wouldn’t have been strong enough to go through this. Now? Now I felt like Hulk — I’d hold his hand through it, we’d walk through the battle together and in the end, we’d still be holding hands.
Kiersten
“Should I be worried that you haven’t said one word since we’ve gotten in the car?” Gabe asked.
I shook my head. “Nah, just thinking.”
“Right, women and thinking. That never causes any problems for the human race.”
“Hilarious.” I rolled my eyes and grabbed his hand. “Gabe?”
“Yeah.” He clenched my hand.
“Thank you.”
“Just doing my friendship duties. Think of it as a penance for my many sins.” He laughed. I could tell he was trying to make light of what he was doing. I didn’t know why it was so necessary that he constantly put himself down. But there it was.
“Above and beyond friendship.” I squeezed his hand and released it. “Though I am curious. Where are we going? I kind of want to be there when Wes wakes up.”
Gabe grinned. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head. Wes had this all planned out for you guys. Actually, the plan was for me and Lisa to come too. But it’s better this way. Wes did tell me I had to video you though.”
“Video me?” I repeated, dread and fear mixed in my voice. “Video what exactly?”
Gabe just kept grinning.
About thirty minutes later we were pulling up to an old Bridge North of Seattle.
“Time to shine!” Gabe clapped his hands and nodded his head. “This is going to be epic.”
“I have a bad feeling.”
“No punking out. You’re doing this for Wes.” Gabe pointed at me and then stalked over to the bridge where a few people were setting some sort of contraption up.
Oh no. Oh no, no, no.
“Kiersten,” Gabe said. “Meet the crew from Seattle Bungee. They’re going to be the ones making sure all the safety stuff in is order so you don’t go splat.”
“How reassuring,” I mumbled dryly.
“No worries!” A guy who appeared even younger than me laughed and slapped me on the back. “We do this all time. It’s our job. Haven’t lost one yet, though one chick did puke. But hey, as long as you face down, you’ll be fine.”
Palms sweating, I gave him a jerky nod.
Harnesses were passed out, along with helmets and carabineers. Oh, my gosh! Was I really going to do this? Shaking, I let the crew fasten my harness and then they connected me to Gabe. I was trembling so much that my lips were quivering. I hated heights. I was terrified of them almost as much as water. Why the hell had I written this on my stupid list? I closed my eyes, refusing to look over the edge.
“Look at me,” Gabe commanded.
I opened my eyes as he wrapped his arms around me.
“Wes wanted me to tell you something.” Gabes eyes welled with tears. “He said that no matter what obstacle you face…” His voice shook. “No matter how afraid you are — you can still make the choice to fight. You can still make the choice to walk through the fire — he said to do it afraid.”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak as my throat was so thick with emotion it was hard to breathe.
“He said he’s not giving up — and neither should you.”
“I won’t,” I vowed. “I won’t give up.”
“That’s my girl.” Gabe kissed my cheek. Funny, how one guy had ended up being my soul mate, while the other ended up being my best friend in the whole world.
“One…” Gabe whispered “Two…”
I clutched his body so tight I couldn’t breathe.
“Three.”
We fell over the side of the bridge, weightless. Completely weightless. I wasn’t even sure I was screaming, my mouth was open and then the bungee bounced. It held us, and we fell again.
Then the funniest thing happen.
I started laughing.
Then crying.
Then laughing again.
I’d done it afraid. I’d conquered my fear, and all because Wes believed in me enough to push me — just like I was going to push him. He didn’t want me to go into that dark place — never again. And I wasn’t going to let him either.
“Thank you,” I whispered into Gabe’s ear as we were jerked back up by the crew.
Gabe held my face between his hands. “What you two have — it’s a once in a lifetime — you fight for him, sweetheart. Fight for him with every last breath. No regrets, okay?”
“Okay.”
****
I laughed when Gabe handed over his phone to Wes. So apparently I had screamed — it sounded horrific, and I had to laugh. Poor Gabe, he was probably going to have ringing in his ears for days.
“Classic.” Wes laughed and then started coughing, I went to touch his arm and he grinned. “Medicine makes me feel like shit, no worries, I’m fine.”
“Gabe, can you uh—”
“Lisa just texted anyway. She’s lost in the hospital, if I don’t find her she’s going to hit on one of the doctors and we really don’t want to see the ramifications of that.” With a salute he left the room.
“I did it.” I grinned.
Wes pulled me to his chest. I tucked my legs onto the hospital bed and laid my head against where his heart was beating. Funny, I could hear it, it sounded healthy, strong. I placed my hand there and started tapping.
“What are you doing?”
I lifted my head and gave Wes a weak smile. “Oh, just keeping our time.”
His mouth found mine and then I was straddling him, throwing off my jacket to a heap on the floor. Wes reached around my neck and pulled me closer to him. He was weak from the medication, but everything about him felt so alive still, so warm.
“You’re going to fight this,” I said against his lips.
He sighed and kissed me hard. “I am fighting it.”
“Listen to me.” I pulled back and gripped his face with my hands. “No giving up. I won’t give up on you, so don’t you give up on you. Okay? This is not the end.”
Wes cursed. “I need you to be prepared that if it—”
“Nope,” I interrupted as I kissed his cheek. “I’m not even going there. You know why?”
“Why?”
“Someone brilliant once told me that when you tell yourself you can’t do something, or even entertain the possibility, the body starts giving into defeat. It’s weak like that. The mind tells you that you may not make it, so you start to sink—”
“Hmm, sounds familiar.”
“I started sinking,” I explained, rubbing his cheeks with my thumbs. “I sank because I told myself I was drowning.”
“I’m not drowning.”
“And you aren’t sinking.” I kissed his mouth. “You’re floating, just like I floated. You just have to stay above water a little bit longer than most people, but I promise the end will be worth it.”
“Is there skinny-dipping in the end?” Wes tilted his head.
I threw my head back and laughed. It felt good to joke with him. “Absolutely. Lots and lots of skinny-dipping.”
“My favorite.” His lips were warm against my neck. I arched back as he trailed kisses down the side of my jaw.
I collapsed onto him and kissed him as hard as I could. We fell asleep talking and kissing. Every time I woke up I kissed him again, and every time I fell asleep it was to him kissing my hair, my neck, telling me stories.
Later Lisa and Gabe came into the room, we decided that the best way to not dwell on the future was to occupy ourselves. First we played BS, then we watched a few Christmas movies, and ate popcorn. Lisa fell asleep first, then Gabe, and then me. The last thing I remembered before my eyes fanned closed was that the nurse was going to have a field day when she walked into our room. Gabe was stretched out in a chair, Lisa was lying on the small bed for family, and I was sprawled out on top of Wes.
I fell asleep with a smile on my lips. Friends. Best friends. I had them, and I had Wes. I tapped the rhythm of his heart with my fingers, allowing the cadence to put me into a deep sleep.