Chapter Twenty-Five
Yeah, Gabe was going to murder me in my sleep.
Weston
I checked my phone. An hour had gone by. I’d figured Gabe would have stopped by my room already to yell or throw things or punch me in the face.
I expected him to at least send me a nasty text message about not keeping my promise.
A knock sounded on my door. Smiling, I opened it expecting to see a large fist flying towards my jaw. Instead it was David and James.
Ugh. I’d rather be punched.
“How is your day progressing?” James asked sounding oh–so-mechanical and ridiculous.
“Fantastic. I’ve got a date for Homecoming.” I sat on my bed and glared.
“Do you normally have trouble getting dates?” David laughed.
“No.” I scowled. “This girl’s special.”
James shifted on his feet. “Not to bring up a sore subject—”
“Then don’t bring it up,” I snapped.
“—But,” James continued. “Do you think it’s a smart move to get a girl involved in your life at this point? You’ve refused to take any tests until the day of your surgery. You have no idea what is going on in your body, and you want to involve someone as innocent as that girl?”
“Look—” I swear my teeth were gnashing together. “It’s not your business. So stay out of it.”
“It is my business.” James tilted his head. “I’m your shrink. Your father hired me to look after your well being.”
“My father hired you because he doesn’t want me to lose my shit and commit suicide like my brother. You aren’t my surgeon, and you sure as hell aren’t my friend. I’ll do what I want — with or without your permission.”
David heaved a sigh. “Wes—”
“Do you need anything else?” I interrupted.
With a curse, David pulled out his notebook. “I just need to document how you’re feeling today. You know the drill. You get the drugs that cost a fortune and haven’t been tested by the FDA yet, and we have to write it down. I don’t do this to torture you. I’m not your doctor, I am your friend, and I’ve been your bodyguard since you threw your first football, so for the love of God, just tell me how you feel.”
I felt guilty as hell. David was right. He’d been there through it all. It was the only way I could even stand having James around. David was family to me, and I was treating him like shit.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured, my voice hoarse with too much emotion. I let out a sigh and began talking about my symptoms. “I’m losing feeling in my right leg. I’m not sure if it’s because I keep getting tackled or if it’s the medicine. I throw up almost every morning, my chest doesn’t hurt as much as it used to, and the nightmares have started to slowly go away. I’m not feeling depressed, just anxious, like God has this giant ass timer in his hands and is just waiting to hit end.”
“Very good.” James cleared his throat and pressed stop on his recorder. Hadn’t known he was recording but whatever.
David reached across the space between us and touched my arm. “Thank you, Wes. We’ll leave you to your packing. You sure you still want to drive yourself?”
“Yup.” I grinned, remembering Kiersten and her excitement. “I’m bringing my girlfriend.”
James sighed heavily, but David grinned and said, “Good for you.”
“Thanks.”
They left the room and I was emotionally ready to throw a bat at anything that talked to me.
“Hey, those goons bothering you?” Gabe said launching himself into my room just as David and James left.
“Always.” I groaned. “So please, punch me, get it over with.”
Gabe looked guilty.
Oh no.
“Are you sick?” He asked in a quiet voice.
“How much did you hear?” I didn’t look at him. I couldn’t, if I did, I’d probably lose it and then just want to punch myself for crying like a baby.
“I know one’s a shrink and the other says you’re on some sort of drugs that make you sick, and then I heard something about surgery.”
A few seconds went by. Hell, I hadn’t told anyone. I didn’t want anyone to know, because I wanted to feel normal if it was my last autumn on this earth.
“Yeah, man.” I bit down on my lip, still refusing to make eye contact. “I’m sick.”
“How sick?” Gabe sat in the chair by my desk. I could see his feet tapping against the floor whether it was in nervousness or just awkwardness I couldn’t tell because I was still being a pansy and staring at the floor.
“Really sick.” My voice broke. Damn it.
“Are you going to get better?”
I laughed without humor and finally lifted my gaze to meet his. “I have no idea. I find out in four weeks.”
“What happens in four weeks?”
“Nosy bastard, aren’t you?”
He grinned and gave me a haphazard shrug.
I sighed and shook my head. “Surgery, and if it doesn’t work, or if I die during it, yeah, well… it’s curtains I guess on either end.”
“So it’s going to be fine then? You’ll be fine?”
“Define ‘fine’?” I laughed, the sound harsh in my quiet room. “If dying is fine, then yeah, I’ll be fine. If living for a few more months while my body gets slowly stolen away from me by unhealthy cells, then yup. Fine, fine, fine, so damn, fine.” I wiped my face with my hands and groaned.
“She doesn’t know, does she?” Gabe asked.
“Hell, no.”
“Don’t tell her.”
“What?” My head snapped up. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“It will only freak her out, especially since you’re going to be fine, right?” He gave me a confident smile. “You can beat it.”
It was the first time someone had said that to me.
Everyone else had been so concerned. David about the symptoms, my dad about depression, nobody — not even the doctor — had told me I was strong enough to take it.
I nodded jerkily, trying not to cry like a baby and said, “You’re right. I will beat it.”
“Or I’ll beat you.” Gabe laughed. “For not only breaking her heart but dying after Homecoming. I mean, seriously? Even you have to admit how messed up that is.”
“Yeah, well.” I kicked off my shoes and lay down on the bed. “I like her. I want to spend time with her and time isn’t something I really have. It’s a luxury you know? People don’t realize how lucky they are. Do you even realize how much it pisses me off when people complain about silly things like their lunch being crappy or their coffee tasting bad? I would drink shitty coffee and eat rotten food for the rest of my life if I could just have a life. You know?”
“Yeah,” Gabe said softly. “I can’t say I know what you’re going through, but I can imagine how bad that would suck, to know that you may not be here to enjoy even the shitty things life has to offer, because at least you’d be here, at least you’d be—”
“Alive,” I finished. “I’d be alive.”
“So live now,” Gabe challenged. “Go kiss that freshman you convinced me you had no feelings for.”
“I plan on it.” My grin was so wide it hurt.
“Good talk.” Gabe laughed. “I’ll just show myself out.”
“Gabe?” I asked once he reached the door.
He turned and waited.
“Thanks for listening.”
He gave me a salute. “Yeah, well, I’m still going to kick your ass if you break her heart.”
“Don’t worry. I imagine she’s going to be the one doing the breaking.”
“How do you figure?” He crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame.
“Because in the end, I won’t have anything to give her that’s worth having.”
“Do yourself a favor.” Gabe pushed away from the door, “Let her be the one to make that choice in the end. Not you.”
I nodded. Yeah, I could do that. I owed her that much, and I’d sure as hell die trying. I smirked at the double meaning.
Gabe waved goodbye and walked off. Who would have thought Gabe had a heart? Or that he was that deep? Just goes to show what you miss in life when you aren’t really looking.
Seek and you’ll find.
Act like an ass and you’ll only see your reflection in the mirror.