I really just wanted to crawl back in bed, but it wasn’t fair of me to deprive the girls of a good day because of my bad mood.
We marched down to the lake, the girls complaining the whole way that they had to wear their floaties.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t feel like swimming right now. I’m going to sit on the shore and read so you have to wear your floaties.”
They looked disappointed, but I was the mom and got the final call on that one, though I suppose I could have said it nicer.
As I parked my rear on an old tree that had fallen over years ago, the girls set out for the water, leaving me alone with my thoughts. My emotions were out of control today, going one hundred different directions. I was jealous, for obvious reasons. I was angry, mostly at myself for lying to Brody about how I felt. I was upset that I had been stupid enough to torture myself and look at those pictures even though I knew it was going to hurt me. A small part of me was angry at Brody for taking that girl to the event—he could have fought harder for me. When was someone going to fight for me? Why was it so easy for people to let me go?
Bringing my book out here was completely pointless; I couldn’t take my eyes off of Lucy and Piper when they were in the water. Plus there were a group of idiots out on the water this morning, driving their WaveRunners around like lunatics. Twice now they had come in too close for my liking. On the third trip around the lake, I stood up and screamed at them at the top of my lungs.
“Don’t come in this far again, you jerk, there are kids playing!”
The guy looked back at me, waved and took off.
“What was that about?” Mom asked, walking up behind me.
“Those guys are driving around like they own the place!” I glared at her.
“Okay, calm down.” She held her hands up defensively. “I agree with you yelling at them, but you’re yelling about everything this morning.”
She walked over and sat down on the stump next to me.
“Sorry,” I snapped, not very apologetically. “I’m just … in a mood.”
“I can see that, care to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Would you rather talk to Brody about it?”
“What?” I swung around to face her. “Why would you ask me that?”
“He’s here.”
“He’s here?”
“Yep, just walked in. Want me to watch the girls for you while you talk to him?”
I didn’t even verbalize an answer, I just grunted and stalked up the hill toward the house. I got to the back door and paused, taking a deep breath before I went in. He was sitting at the kitchen island with his chin resting on his hands, looking straight ahead, smiling … at her.
She was here.
The redhead.
From last night.
In my house.
“Hey!” he said cheerfully when I walked in.
“Hi,” I replied flatly, trying to get my blood pressure under control so I didn’t kill him with my own bare hands.
She stood up and beamed at me as I walked into the kitchen, holding her hand out. “You must be Kacie. I’ve heard so much about you. Nice to meet you.”
“Kacie, I’m glad you’re here. I really wanted you to meet Shae.”
“Hi Shae.” I reached out and half-heartedly shook her hand.
“I’m sorry to run off so fast, but Brody, I have to use the restroom bad. Where is it?”
He pointed up the guest stairs. “Up there, third door on the right, across from our room.”
A lump formed in my throat the size of Texas, as rage, not oxygen fueled my bloodstream. She scurried up the stairs, barely out of earshot before I turned and lost it on Brody.
“Your room? You’re staying here? Both of you?” I spat with my fists clenched at my sides.
“Yep.” He smiled at me, looking me up and down. “You look great.”
Completely ignoring his compliment, I continued, “What the hell are you thinking?”
“What?” He sounded clueless.
“This. Her. Here.” I couldn’t even form a sentence anymore. The logical part of my brain was dead, filled instead with seething anger.
“Shae is great, really sweet. I wanted you to meet her, I think you’ll get along.”
I swear I heard my heart shatter like glass as sadness replaced the seething anger. “How could you bring her here? Why would I want to meet her? My replacement. Why are you throwing this in my face?”
“I’m not throwing anything in your face. You made your decision. You said you didn’t love me,” he accused.
Tears burned my eyes. Angry tears, hurt tears, devastated tears. No way were they ever spilling out though, I pinched my arm hard to distract myself from the emotional pain and make them go away.
“Yes, I said it, but that…” I waved my hand toward the stairs she’s just run up. “That is just cruel. To bring her here, to make me stare at the two of you all weekend. Why? To torment me, teach me a lesson?”
He stood up from the island and walked over in front of me, staring straight past my eyes and into my soul.
“Do you love me?” he asked.