I couldn’t hold the tears back anymore. Zach had a rough life growing up. His dad was a loser drunk who used to beat his mom up. Finally, when Zach was a little boy, she got sick of it and kicked him out. She worked really hard to raise him and his sister, Tara, on her own and provide a good life for them. His dad was constantly making plans with him and then leaving him on the porch waiting with his overnight bag. His mom never complained about his dad, though. She just worked extra hard to make up for what he was missing from him. In hindsight, she probably loved Zach too much and in turn, enabled him to become his father. Zach was as big a mama’s boy as I’d ever seen. I can’t imagine how her death must have affected his already unstable life.
“I tried really hard to stay sober the next couple days. I helped Tara plan the funeral and put on a smiling face for my gram, but it all became too much and I went on a major drinking binge the night before her services. The next thing I remember is being woken up by loud banging on the door. I opened it and Tara started beating the shit out of me. She pounded on my chest and punched me in the stomach. Then, she reeled back and spit in my face.” His voice cracked and I had to swallow a sob. “Her boyfriend, Tony, grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back while I wiped her spit off my face with my T-shirt. She was screaming at me, but all her words were blurring together. She turned and cried uncontrollably into Tony’s chest. I asked him what the fuck was going on, and he glared at me and told me that they’d been trying to get ahold of me for hours, but I was too passed out. I slept right through my mom’s whole funeral.”
The sob I’d swallowed worked its way back up and escaped as I clasped my hand over my mouth. Zach reached over, grabbed a napkin from the next table, and handed me one before wiping his own eyes. “Needless to say, that was the lowest point in my entire life. My drunk ass was so selfish and so in love with the bottle, not only had I lost my kids, but now I missed my mom’s funeral. I checked into an inpatient rehab the next day and lived there for six long ugly months. While I was there my dad died too, but I chose not to go to his funeral. In my mind, that would have been a betrayal to my mom.”
I took a deep breath, trying to absorb everything he’d just thrown at me. “I’m so sorry about your mom, Zach. I know how much you loved her,” I finally said in a shaky voice.
“Thanks.” An awkward fake smile crossed his lips. “After rehab, I changed my life completely. I started working out constantly, I went to school to become an EMT, and I started a dependency program here at the hospital. I craved stability in my life. My goal was to get myself situated and healed and then come see you. I figured you’d probably be married and maybe have other kids or something, and I didn’t want to drum up any hurt, but I was hoping at some point I could earn your trust back and have some sort of role in the girls’ lives.” His chin quivered. “Please, Kacie. I don’t want to be like my dad.”
I sat, stunned. That was not at all what I was expecting to hear—any of it. I figured he’d tell me he was young and dumb and selfish, and in a way, he was, but it was so much deeper than that. Then I did something impulsive, without a second thought, something that shocked me to my core. Before my brain realized what my body was doing, I reached across and put my hand on top of his.
“I’ve craved stability too. We’ll figure something out… slowly.”
“Holy crap! Are they going off to college?” I stared down at the mile-long list of school supplies for Lucy and Piper, wondering why the hell they needed fifty #2 pencils—each.
“Welcome to school supply shopping.” Kacie giggled as she walked over and grabbed a cart.
I looked down at the cart and back at her. “I don’t think that’s going to be big enough.”
She grinned and shook her head. “Oh boy. You’re in for a rude awakening. Girls, come on!” Lucy and Piper returned the tiny stuffed animals they were playing with to their bin and bounced over to us.
“They’re six. Why on Earth do they need one hundred pencils?” I mumbled to myself as I followed along behind Kacie. “I’m twenty-seven. I don’t think I’ve used one hundred pencils in my entire life.”
By the time we were on the second half of the list, I was having more fun than the girls, throwing everything not nailed down into the cart.
“Brody, we need regular crayons, not glitter ones.” Lucy frowned as she peeked over the edge of the cart.
“Oh, did I grab glitter?” I grabbed six of the biggest packages of regular crayons they had and tossed them in the cart. Lucy reached in to grab the glitter ones and put them back, but I stopped her. “No. We’ll get those too.” I winked.
Kacie came back from the bathroom with Piper and her eyes got wide once she saw the cart. “Whoa!”
“I know. We’re having fun.” I laughed.
Kacie tugged on my shirt, pulling me away from the girls. “Brody, listen. I appreciate all the fun you’re having with them, but I’m on a budget. I can’t afford all this.”
“You don’t have to. I can buy my girls school supplies.”
“I can’t let you do that.”
“Kacie, have I ever told you what to do with your money?”
She bit her lip and shook her head.
“Then don’t insult me by telling me what to do with mine.” I reached over and kissed the end of her nose. “I’m having a blast. Let me do this.”