chapter 60
“Hi Jill, it’s Jonny.”
Jonny nervously toyed with the phone cord. It had been over a week since he’d spoken to his wife. He really missed her...more than he ever imagined. More than love, Jill was his best friend. When he left Ted’s office in rage and shame, the one person whose shoulder he wanted to cry on was the one person who was truly hurt the most by what he’d done. Ted still hadn’t gotten back to him on what he was going to do.
As far as Heather was concerned...Jonny found a message on his work voicemail from her. “I had to do it Jonny,” she said, anger dripping from every word, “you used me and I do not get used.” Her message only confirmed what he knew all along – she was trouble. And now she was going to destroy him. Anger rose through Jonny’s body as he thought of what was happening. His career hung in the balance. Everything he had worked so hard for was about to evaporate before his eyes.
Sadly, his company was a major player in the radio industry. If he was fired from his job here, getting another radio gig would be difficult. Radio was an incestuous business. Everyone knew everyone and the story of how Jonny Rock fell from grace would precede him.
He should have known better, resisted the urge to touch Heather, to be with her. Now his whole life hung in the balance. He needed the one constant in his life. He needed to talk to his wife Jill.
“Jill...are you there?” He spoke again. He could hear her breathing on the phone.
“What do you want?” she said tersely, the raw pain still very evident in her voice.
“I wanted to talk to you...to tell you how sorry I am.”
“Well I don’t want to hear it.”
Click.
She hung up.
Jonny listened to the monotonous beep of the disconnected phone. He redialed her.
“What?”
“Please, Jill, don’t hang up this time.”
“I have nothing to say to you.”
“I have a lot I need to say to you. Jill, we’ve been together so long.”
“That didn’t seem to matter to you.”
“I understand you’re hurt.”
“You understand nothing,” she spat.
“That’s not true.”
“I’m not going to argue with you over your sensitivity. I think the fact that you cheated on me makes my case just fine.” Her words flew like knives straight into his heart.
“Look, can I come over to talk to you?”
“I don’t want you in my house.”
“Then how about someplace neutral...like the coffee shop down the block from our apartment?”
“Why?”
“Jill, you know as well as I do, as angry as you are at me, we have to talk, we have things to discuss...”
She breathed heavily, thinking over what he said. “Fine. I can meet you now...but only briefly.”
“Great,” he said smiling, “great. I’ll see you there. I’m leaving now.” He replaced the phone hook quickly, ending the call before she had a chance to change her mind.
Jonny took off his old radio station T-shirt and put on Jill’s favorite striped Polo shirt. He brushed his short spiky screaming blonde hair, stopping for a moment to note how ridiculous he looked with it. About to lose his job and his wife and he’s got the hair style an angry child with a yellow crayon would give a stick figure. “No time to criticize your appearance,” he chided himself and sprinted out of the door to his car.
Jonny sped through the streets pulling into what was his and Jill’s favorite coffeehouse. When they’d first moved to South Florida they’d stop in on weeknights for coffee and an outrageous dessert. They’d choose a different decadent treat each time – chocolate fudge brownies dripping with liquid heaven or huge cinnamon coffee rolls covered in sweet white icing. They’d eat and laugh and reflect on how far they’d come from their small apartment in Georgia. He smiled at the memory.
Walking through the doors of the coffee shop the aroma of rich java and baked goods jarred his memory of better times and all that was at stake. He glanced around quickly. Jill wasn’t there. He took the liberty of ordering two coffees and the brownie dessert – her favorite. Alone, he sat at the small table for two, waiting and waiting and waiting.
Three cups of coffee later, Jill arrived. He saw her walk tentatively through the door. From a distance he noticed how pretty she looked in a simple white cotton shirt and jeans. Her flaxen blonde hair was brushed to a perfect shine and was tied with a red ribbon in a loose ponytail. As she approached he could see behind her makeup puffy eyes ringed in purple. She’d been crying. A lot.
Jonny rose from his seat and tried to reach out to hug her. She flinched and recoiled. “Sorry,” he said putting his hands in the air to show no harm and backed off.
“I only agreed to meet you because we need to determine what we are doing.” Her language was terse and to the point. No words were wasted.
“You can sit down...I ordered you coffee and your favorite dessert.” He pushed the fudge-covered brownie towards her.
She eyed it with distaste as she lowered herself into the wooden chair. “I don’t want it.” Her hands remained at her side.
“You look beautiful.” He wasn’t lying. Behind the teary eyes he saw the soul of the woman he loved. The hurt staring back at him landed on him like a ton of guilt – oppressive and painful.
“Don’t patronize me.” Her words were cold and angry.
“I’m not...I mean...I mean it...” he stammered in nervousness. “You look great.”
“Jonny, I didn’t come here to hear your garbage. I only agreed to meet you because it’s true we have things to discuss.”
“I’m glad to hear you say that.” The words ran quickly from his mouth. “I was so wrong. I am so sorry and I promise you it won’t ever happen again...I’ll go with you to counseling, whatever you want, whatever you need.”
Jill’s eyes remained expressionless. “Jonny, it’s over. I met with a lawyer. I hadn’t called you yet about it because I couldn’t bring myself to talk to you.” She opened her purse and pulled out some papers. “These are divorce papers. I only ask that you make this quick and easy.”
Jonny felt like he was struck in the stomach. “Jill, I don’t want to divorce you...”
“Well, perhaps you should have thought of that before you started sleeping with that slut.” She placed the papers on the table. “I really have nothing else to say to you and there is nothing else that I want to hear you say.” Jill rose from the table.
“Jill, please wait.” Jonny got up from his chair.
“Don’t make a scene,” she said, her voice heavy with contempt. “You want to do something for me? Just keep this simple.” She began walking away.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he called out.
Jill spun around. “Oh Jonny,” she whispered, “I’m already gone.”
She walked out of the café leaving Jonny standing alone.
Speechless.
Hurt.
Lost.