chapter 47
Cody missed Laura.
Not the person, but the closeness of her.
Being on the road was lonely. He missed having a close companion, someone to share his life with. His youth was a den of instability. There was no one to turn to for comfort or love, no one to confide his deepest hopes and dreams.
No one.
Now that the band had started to taste success, friends appeared from nowhere, people wanting to be close to the next best thing. Cody saw through their shallowness. Harper and Bobby didn’t. They were loving every minute of the attention and adoration, staying out late, having a different girl/woman/cougar leave their bedroom every morning. They were rock clichés falling into the trappings of success.
He couldn’t totally blame them. The trappings were tempting.
Who wouldn’t love to be told how wonderful you are all the time? Who wouldn’t love to have gorgeous women throw themselves at you every night?
Cody learned a hard fast lesson from his one night stand that permanently ended his relationship with Laura. It didn’t make him feel good about himself. He didn’t feel like a stud. Instead he felt like every other prick who only cares about himself.
No different from his dad.
Cody was better than that. The happiest he ever was, was with Laura. They had gotten so close...but she didn’t want to live his dream with him. There was too much for her to give up. He didn’t blame her, and the fact that she saw problems with his lifestyle probably meant the relationship would have inevitably failed. He just sped up the process by killing any hope for reconciliation with one wild night.
No, Laura probably wasn’t the one. But she was close. And that taste for closeness with someone was addictive. Cody only wanted a real love.
His burgeoning rock star career gave him a feeling of success. Standing on stage, having the crowd sing his lyrics back to him was electrifying. No words could describe the sheer pleasure he felt seeing people respond to his songs. At the mic, with the band behind him, Cody was in his element. The loud rock, the screaming fans, the pulsing beat. Noise, noise, noise.
Then he’d go back to his hotel room. And there was nothing. It was so unbelievably quiet, a one hundred and eighty degree difference in sound. And in the silence, he was just Cody Blue Smith, from Pinetree, Florida with an abusive alcoholic dad and a mother who never protected him. He was just a scared kid who wanted someone to put her arms around him and say that everything would be all right.
Success had changed his friends. Bobby and Harper were living the rock star life and Alex was wallowing in his impending fatherhood and clingy girlfriend situation. They weren’t ‘brothers’ anymore. More like an odd group thrown together by circumstance.
Awash in self-pity, Cody called Dana. He knew she was on the air. She answered in her radio voice.
“Dana Drew.”
“Hey you.”
“Hey,” she said, truly happy to hear Cody’s voice on the line.
“I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
“Do you have a few minutes? I know you’re working.”
“Yeah...it’s fine.”
“I thought we could have a phone date.”
She smiled. “Okay. I’m game as long as you can deal with an interruption at ten and forty past the hour.”
Cody rolled over on the bed to his stomach. “I can deal with that. We actually have a night off tonight, no show.”
“Shocking.”
“I know, so I have time to take you out, get to know you better.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
“That’s a little broad.”
“But it’s the truth.”
“So where should I start...?”
They talked for hours, through Dana’s shift. Dana sharing stories of childhood, Cody slowly revealing the dreams of his youth and tiny bits of his family life.
For Dana, Cody’s call was a safe warm blanket. This day was difficult, Cody’s voice and descriptions of life on the road pulled her from her sadness and confusion, distracting her from the pain of Sam’s message – his betrayal and apparent empty love.
Cody, too, was helped by Dana. He listened to her closely, sharing in the joy of her silly stories of her family life while growing up.
Dana told him of her close relationship with her mom and dad. She drew him into her life with tales of a family life he’d only dreamed of. Her world was the world he always wanted. Cody let himself fall safely into her descriptions, imagining what life would have been like in a family like hers, and wondered if they could create that type of family life together.
“Wow...you made my shift go fast.” Dana looked at the clock. “It’s time for me to go home.”
“It was great talking to you.”
“A very memorable date.”
“Yes it was.” Cody’s voice grew serious, “I just can’t wait until I can see you.”
“We’re almost there.”
“You’re very special, Dana.”
She blushed.
“Okay, no response,” Cody continued.
“Oh,” Dana was embarrassed. “I was blushing. I of all people should know you can’t hear a blush.” She paused. “I feel the same way about you. You have to forgive me for being cautious...I’ve been hurt before.” In fact, just today.
Cody sensed her vulnerability. “This isn’t some fling for me,” he reassured. “I have some things in my past too...I’m looking for something real.”
Dana was relieved. “So we’ll see where this goes.”
“Yes we will.”
Yes, I will, she said to herself.