chapter 39
Cody knocked on Alex’s door at the hotel. They were in Tampa and had a show that night. Alex was glad to see Cody when he answered the door.
“Hey...did you come to congratulate me on my big news?” Alex walked over to the small table in his room and removed a bottle of vodka from a brown bag. “Want to join me in a toast?” He began pouring the clear alcohol into a glass.
“No, I’m fine.”
“C’mon...it’s a toast to my good fortune.” His tone mocked his words.
“Take it easy.”
“I need to medicate first. Kylie’s meeting me at the show tonight. I told her we didn’t get in to town till much later today. I wanted to avoid the whole big conversation pre-concert.” He took a swig of vodka and let the alcohol drown his frustration. “She wants me to marry her.”
“Do you want to marry her?”
“No.”
“Oh.” Cody proceeded delicately. “Did you think of that before...”
“I know. You all said it to me already. Don’t you think I know this?”
“Well...”
“Point taken.” Alex refilled his glass with vodka.
“So what will you do?” Cody probed, asking questions he knew he didn’t have a right to ask, but had to. His childhood made him feel for this unborn child. Alex had no idea what it was like to grow up without a dad or worse, with parents that hated each other.
“I asked her about another option...ya know, terminating the pregnancy, but she’s super religious and wants to keep it. I can’t imagine how the hell she’s gonna raise it...”
Cody bristled. “Not ‘it,’ Alex, your child.”
“Whatever, she’s a young kid...only twenty. What’s she gonna do with a baby?” Alex’s voice grew angry. “And if she was so damn religious then what the hell was she doin’ sleeping with me? Don’t the ultra-religious frown on that whole pre-marital sex thing?”
“How do you feel about her?”
“I like her, I mean, maybe I love her...I don’t know. I do know that I don’t wanna be married now with a kid. Dude we are on the way up...we’re gonna be huge rock stars.” Alex leapt onto the bed and opened his arms to an adoring imaginary crowd. “This is the beginning of the best time in our lives. Sex, drugs and rock and roll man.” He downed the rest of his drink.
“Alex, this is your reality now. You have to deal with it.”
“Do I?” he screamed, throwing his vodka glass hard against the wall. Shards of glass flew around the room.
Cody shielded his face with his hands. “Alex!”
Alex jumped from the bed and flew out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
“Alex!” Cody ran after him. Alex was drunk and depressed, not a good combination.
He chased Alex through the halls of the small hotel drawing stares from other guests. He followed him to the pool area where Alex finally stopped.
“I’m trying to get away from you, can’t you just leave me alone?” He was breathless.
“I’m trying to keep you from ruining your life.”
“It’s already ruined.” Alex sat down on a lounge chair and let the tears that had pooled in his eyes fall down his cheeks. He quickly wiped his face with his hands.
“You need to talk to Kylie and try to figure this out.”
“I know deep down that I should do the right thing and marry her. I don’t want my kid to be illegitimate. But, I’m not ready to be a dad or a husband. I don’t want that yet. And as far as Kylie...I’m not in love with her.”
Cody felt sorry for his friend. “I don’t know the answer, but it’s here somewhere. Give yourself some time...it’ll come to you.”
Alex dropped his head into his hands.
“C’mon, let’s go back inside. You should sleep this off before the show tonight.”
Alex turned to Cody. “Thanks, man.”
“Anytime.”
The two friends walked back through the hotel. Cody made sure Alex was okay, took the bottle of vodka from his room and left.
He thought about calling Dana, which was odd since he didn’t even know her that well. Reality was she was still on his mind. It felt so different that night. He trusted his instincts and didn’t think he imagined the connection. What could have happened? He hated loose ends.
He flipped opened his wallet and pulled out a piece of paper. He had copied her number down when he’d gotten back to his room in Miami.
Did he really want to get rejected again?
He shoved the paper back into his wallet and got on with his life.