chapter 27
Dana arrived at Ivy’s ten minutes late on purpose. She didn’t want to get there before Sam. If he didn’t show, she wouldn’t be able to bear it.
She pulled into the parking lot and saw his familiar silver Lexus. Sam was here. She pulled into a spot and took a moment to compose herself. What did he really want? What did she want?
She pulled down the mirror on her visor and studied her appearance. Her green eyes looked sad. Dana sighed. It was now or never. A quick reapply of lipstick, a deep breath and she was ready.
Sam was sitting in a booth in the back of the restaurant and jumped up when she walked through the door. His dirty blond hair was shorter than she remembered. He wore a hunter green shirt, khaki pants and a woven brown leather belt. Boat shoes peeked out from his pants. He looked polished, Mr. GQ.
For a moment she regretted her casual choice of clothing, but then she reminded herself, he left her. Dana wasn’t looking to win him back. She didn’t know what she was looking for. Maybe just answers.
“Dana,” Sam said crossing the room toward her. He embraced her clumsily. The touch of his skin felt familiar and foreign all at the same time.
He led her to the booth. They sat across from each other in silence for what felt like forever. It was probably only seconds.
“So this is awkward...” he began, forcing a smile.
She didn’t take the bait, this was his idea, he could lead.
He reached across the table for her hand, she recoiled. “Dana, I am so sorry. I’ve never been in a serious relationship like this. I freaked out. I have no other explanation.”
“You didn’t freak out, you left.”
“I know. I have no idea why I handled it that way, it was a huge mistake...leaving you was too. I miss you.”
“Sam...” Dana’s eyes filled with tears. She didn’t know what to think. She loved him more than she had ever loved anyone, but he had hurt her just as deeply. “I don’t know what to think...”
“All I’ve done is think. We had something really good together. I got jealous of your job...so stupid of me.” He touched the top of her hand.
“But my job isn’t changing...”
“I know, but maybe one day....” He took a deep breath, “Dana, I’m close to making partner at the firm. Think of what that means for our future.”
Our future. He hit a nerve. “Sam...what are you saying...?” Things were moving too fast, one minute he was gone from her life, the next he’s long term?
His warm brown eyes crinkled at the corners. “I’m saying I want us to have a life together. What’s the point of it all if I don’t have anyone to share it with?” He squeezed her hand. “Let’s try again. I’ll do better this time.”
“But nothing has changed from when you left. I don’t understand.” Tears spilled from her eyes.
“I’ve changed. Being without you was a rude awakening. I didn’t realize how lucky I was.”
His voice sounded warm and sincere, but she wasn’t softening. “And now you do?”
“Yes...let me make it up to you.”
One year she’d invested in him. She measured the pain he caused her with the life they had. It was hard to throw away one year of her life.
“I just don’t want to get hurt again,” she replied softly.
“I’ll never hurt you again.”
She looked into his warm brown eyes. She saw a husband, she saw a father, she saw security. They could have a good life together.
“One more try?” he asked.
She couldn’t believe the words she was about to say. “Okay, Sam. One more try.”
“I love you, Dana.”
She half smiled, but did not respond. She still had her walls up.
Sam picked up on her hesitation. “You don’t have to say it back, I get it.” He moved around the table so he was beside her. He wrapped his arms around her. It felt so good. She rested her head on his shoulder as he gently stroked her hair. “Tell me, Dana, can I come home?”
Home. Her quiet apartment, her empty bed. The Paul McCartney refrain, No More Lonely Nights, popped into her head.
“Okay, Sam, come home.”