Then I opened them and stated, “That night Ren fought with Luke, in an effort to calm him down, I suggested we go for drinks. He took me up on that offer. We went to Brother’s but when we got there, it wasn’t about Ren and Luke and Ava. It was about Ren and me. And it was good. So good, he took me to his house. That was better. Way better. Out of our stratosphere better.”
Indy remained silent, another bad sign. She got me. I was talking about sex. And the Rock Chicks existed on a conversational diet heavy on sex talk, Hot Bunch bitching and skincare tips.
Time to pull out the big guns.
“I fell in love with him, chickie,” I whispered and watched her lips part.
There it was, thank God. I was getting in there.
So I kept at it.
“In one night, I fell in love.”
She bit her lip.
Yes. Getting in there.
“I woke up in his arms in his bed and I was happy. Totally happy, babe. So happy I was lying there smiling. And he curled me closer, shoved his face in my hair and said Ava’s name.”
That did it.
Her body jolted before she yanked out a chair, sat her ass in it and leaned toward me, exclaiming on a horrified hiss, “Oh my God! Seriously?”
I nodded. “Seriously.”
“Holy crap,” she breathed.
“It killed,” I admitted.
“It would,” she agreed.
“Ren was asleep when he did it,” I explained. “I snuck out. He got pissed that I did, came over that night and that didn’t go very well. I didn’t share why I left so he didn’t know until yesterday why I established stringent fuck buddy boundaries. Boundaries, I’ll add, that he didn’t really adhere to and, looking back, I didn’t either. Since he was asleep, he didn’t know he did it and was pretty upset when I threw it in his face. He explained, we worked it out. I love him, he loves me and it’s all good.”
Something moved over her face that I could read even behind her shades.
Surprise.
And warmth.
“You love him?” she asked quietly and I felt my lips tip up.
“Yeah,” I answered just as quietly.
Her head tipped to the side. “He loves you?”
I nodded and full-on smiled. “Oh yeah.”
No surprise that time. Just warmth.
“He’s good to you?”
My smile got bigger as my hand lifted to touch the pendant at my neck. “Definitely.”
Her shades dropped to my throat. Her mouth got soft but she didn’t say anything. I knew she’d like the pendant. I knew she’d know it was from Ren. And I knew she’d know, just looking at its kickassness, that it was thoughtful and generous and said it all.
She took in a breath, looked at me, and asked, “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”
Right. The hard part.
“He said Ava’s name,” I told her.
“And?” she prompted when I said no more.
“And that hurt,” I answered. My voice was quiet, but there was a tremor in it that was not me.
And Indy knew me. She knew what that tremor meant. She knew exactly how much it hurt.
This was why her hand shot across the table and grabbed mine as she murmured, “Oh, Ally.”
“I didn’t want to share. I didn’t want to relive. It haunted me enough as it was. And I didn’t want Ava to get wind of it,” I told her.
“I see that, but you know I would never—”
I cut her off.
“I know. And I know it isn’t the same. You’ve been in love with him since you were five, but it still kind of is, so what would you do if Lee was holding you in his arms in bed after you had a great night, the best you ever had, and he said another woman’s name in your hair?”
Her hand gave mine a squeeze. She didn’t answer, but she didn’t need to. Her face, even with shades, said it all.
She let me go, grabbed her coffee, sucked some back and put it on the table, her shades again locking with mine.
She got me.
“And all the other stuff?” she asked.
This time I got her. Conversation about Ren was done. We were moving on. She wanted to know about my activities.
Another hard part.
Crap.
I leaned forward.
“I’m good at it,” I told her.
“I know you are,” she replied, and no doubt about it, hearing her say that and do it instantaneously felt great.
But I expected nothing less. That was pure Indy.
“No, Indy, I’m good at it,” I stressed. “It’s in my blood. It’s who I am. I think I needed to prove that to myself, and the other night in the mountains, I did. What happened there was extreme, and Darius, Brody and me, we kicked its ass. It was awesome. So now, I need to prove to Hank, Lee, Dad, and probably the hardest, Ren, that this is my thing. I’m good at it. And I’m going to keep doing it.” I took in a breath then made my point. “Now, do you think I’d get the chance to do that if I did my thing with the Rock Chicks tagging along?”
She saw the wisdom of this statement, and I knew it because she sat back and sucked back more coffee.
“Right. No,” I answered for her.
“I would have kept that secret, too,” she told me something I already knew.
“I dig that,” I replied. “But honestly, think about it. If I shared—you, me, our history, the way we are—can you sit there and tell me you wouldn’t have finagled a way to get involved, or at least take my back somewhere in the last two years?”
She saw the wisdom of this statement too, and I knew it when she didn’t answer.