The months before that, Ren had been trying to convince me we should explore what we had.
I guessed he just gave up trying to convince me and decided to be my boyfriend even if I didn’t agree.
The problem with me not agreeing was I tended to do a few things when Ren was around. One was argue with him like he was my boyfriend. Another was to have the occasional meal (or maybe not so occasional) with him and shoot the breeze, like he was my boyfriend. Another was sleep with him, and spend the night, like he was my boyfriend.
“I know you’re awake.”
I rolled my newly awakened eyes.
Ren always woke up before me in the mornings and always sensed when I was awake.
Except once.
Our first time together.
But what happened after I woke up that time nearly killed me, so I didn’t think about that.
Always when he sensed I was awake, he commenced with The Talk (necessitating capital letters because Ren considered these Talks gravely serious and took them that way; again, I disagreed).
Usually these Talks centered around what we argued about before I jumped him. Or before he jumped me and we went on to have hours of mind-boggling, soul-enriching, life-changing sex, then passed out and Ren instigated Maximum Contact Sleep.
Today, I could tell by his tone, was not going to be different.
“I need coffee,” I told him.
“I’ll get you coffee after we talk.”
See?
There it was.
The Talk.
And bossy.
I sighed and stated, “Zano, I don’t wanna talk.”
He put a hand in my belly, slid away and pressed me to my back so he could loom over me. Then he proceeded to press deep into me with most of his body, but some of it up on an elbow on the bed, and loom over me.
Exhibit A. Ren assumed dominant positions regularly and often in order to best be bossy, annoying and in my face; like, say, pressing me to my back in a bed and looming over me after I said I didn’t want to talk.
I caught his eyes.
God, he had gorgeous eyes.
To block out those eyes, I closed mine.
Still, I saw him, all of him, in my mind’s eye.
His eyes, his face, his hair and other parts of his anatomy (that would be all of it) usually were my undoing, and thus I would end up jumping him even in the midst of a fight. Or, alternately, I wouldn’t struggle too much if he jumped me.
He was Italian, straight up, no other blood in him. He might be American—fourth generation American to be precise—but other than not speaking a different language, I was pretty certain his entire family thought they still lived in Sicily, even though most of them lived in Englewood, Colorado. With the exception of Ren and his cousin Dominic Vincetti. They both lived fifteen minutes to the north in Denver.
Ren was tall, very tall. Taller than me, and I was tall for a woman.
And he had a fabulous body. Lean hips that he knew how to use (big time). Broad shoulders, the power of which he also put to good use (in a variety of delicious ways). Sleek, defined muscles all over that I knew he put a lot of work into in a way he got off on (and I did too, but for a different reason).
But his way wasn’t so he would look exceptionally hot (which he did). It was having time to be in his head and shut everything else out, be centered, get focused, be healthy. It was, like a lot of things about Ren, righteous.
And last, he had unbelievable abs and hip muscles, which I thought should be photographed and put in a museum. They were so perfect everybody should get the chance to see.
He also had thick dark hair that felt good just normally, but it felt awesome when your fingers were buried in it when his tongue was buried in your mouth (or elsewhere on your body).
All that was fabulous, but there were three things that really did it for me with Ren.
His eyes were this beautiful espresso color, so rich and deep, if you weren’t careful, you could lose yourself in them in a way you never wanted to be found.
And he was confident. Not arrogant. It wasn’t about swagger. Confident. He just knew what his body and mind could do, he knew what he liked, what he wanted and he was comfortable with all that. It oozed off him in the way cool oozed off people who were cool. And Ren was just that: cool. He was like a rock star without the guitar and in a suit. It was phenomenal.
And last, he dressed really well. For work, fabulous suits that were tailored for him. Outside of work, he could do jeans and even tees, and he wore them well, but usually he put on a shirt or a sweater (if it was cold) with his jeans and he wore those way better.
But with Ren it wasn’t about the clothes. It was about the man.
And Ren Zano was all man.
Unfortunately, I liked men who were all man.
I also had a weakness for men in suits.
I just didn’t like bossy, annoying and in my face.
And, of course, someone who would eventually break my heart, even though I figured he genuinely didn’t know he was going to eventually do it.
But I knew he would.
His voice came at me, smooth and deep, but also soft and sweet.
“Ally, baby, last night proved we have to have this out, once and for all,”