Seeing as I had a three-hour nap that afternoon, Luke fell asleep before I did.
I spent some time trying to fall asleep, but I couldn’t. So, carefully, I slid out from under his arm (we were spooning, his face in my hair, his arm around my waist) and I got up.
The Triumph tee was in the laundry so I went to the dresser where he took me to get it that first night, opened the drawer, grabbed whatever was on top and put it on. I slid on my panties then my glasses then shrugged on the sweatshirt and zipped it up.
I went to the floor to almost ceiling window, sat down on the floor beside it, knees to my chest, the side of my shoulder to the window. I pulled his tee and sweatshirt over my knees and hugged them, staring at his view.
Luke was on the fourth of five floors in a LoDo loft. I couldn’t see the mountains but I could see LoDo, its lights and brick buildings and there were still some people milling about on the streets though it was way late.
I rested my temple against the cold window and lost myself in thought.
I wondered what Marilyn and Sofia would think if they knew I was with Luke (they were never going to know, I would never hear the end of it when it was over). I wondered for the gazillionth time where my Dad might be. I wondered how the Rockies were doing in spring training.
I heard a movement and my head jerked away from the window as Luke settled behind me wearing his sweatpants. It was just plain old weird how a big guy like him could be so quiet.
Without a word, he settled with his legs around me, wrapped his arms around my chest, pressed his front against my back and rested his chin on my shoulder.
I felt a shiver slide through me, not from cold. “Did I wake you?” I asked in a whisper, like he was still sleeping.
“Yeah,” he told me.
“Sorry.”
His arms got tighter.
“You can go back to sleep,” I said.
“Prefer you were with me, babe.”
I closed my eyes and wondered if he would also prefer to be with Jules, sitting on the floor in the dark by his window. I figured he would.
I mentally pushed away those thoughts and said, “I can’t sleep. The nap.”
“I’ll wait.”
I was afraid he would say that.
We sat there, me looking out the window; I didn’t know what he was doing.
After awhile, I slid into my pretend happy place. Sitting on the floor in the dark with Luke, his arms around me, I slid in so deep, I whispered, “I wonder where my Dad is.”
His arms got tighter and his head shifted, his chin moving my hair out of the way so he could bury his face in my neck.
Mouth at my ear, he said, “You don’t have to wonder.”
My body went still. “Why not?”
“You want, I’ll find him for you.”
Oh… my… God.
“Really?” I whispered so low it was barely audible.
“Yeah.”
Then it hit me. “What would I owe you for that?”
He kissed my neck and his chin went back to my shoulder. “I would do that for free.”
I tried to put the brakes on it, tried to call “whoa” but I couldn’t. My body relaxed into his. His chin came up as he took my weight and the back of my head went to rest on his shoulder.
After awhile I said, “I don’t want you to find him for me. I don’t need another man fucking up my life.”
“Your call,” he replied softly.
I didn’t say any more. We sat there for a good, long while. Then he moved, pulling away, standing up. I looked at him as he leaned down, putting an arm around my waist, one at the back of my knees. He lifted me up and carried me to bed.
Once there he set me in it and followed me down, stretching out beside me. He took off my glasses and put them on the nightstand. Then he unzipped the sweatshirt and I pulled it off, throwing it on the floor by the bed. Then he lifted the tee over my head and threw it aside. Luke, I was learning, liked sleeping naked. He would tolerate panties but that was about it. Seeing as I liked the feel of his skin against mine I didn’t mind. He pulled me over his body, settled me on his other side and yanked the covers over us. He turned to me, hooking his hand behind my knee to wrap it around his hip.
“You could have put me in bed on this side,” I told him.
“That’s not as fun.”
I smiled in the dark. “You’re nuts,” I said. Finally feeling sleepy, I cuddled closer.
His arm closed around my waist and he pulled me deep into him but he didn’t respond.
When I was inches away from dreamland, I heard him say, “Ava.”
I was too close to sleep to respond, I just pressed closer.
And I was sure I fell asleep because, I swear, the next thing he said was, “Missed you.”
And I knew that had to be a dream.