I scrambled and got my panties and the Triumph tee (let us not forget, I was naked as a jaybird). I noticed he’d come straight to the bed fully-clothed to release me and now he was taking off his clothes. I tugged on my stuff and walked directly to my suitcases. I rummaged through them, found what I wanted and went to the bathroom. I yanked off the Triumph tee and put on a pair of pajama pants striped in yellow, green and pink and a fitted tee in matching pink. I walked out, threw the Triumph tee on the bed not even looking to see where Luke was. I grabbed a pillow and stomped to the couch.
I threw the pillow down, lay on the couch, tucked myself in a ball and wrapped my arms around my knees. I’d barely got in this position before Luke was there, lifting me up and carrying me to the bed. I didn’t struggle and I didn’t say a word.
He put me in bed. I scooted as far away from him as I could and settled. He yanked me to him, my back to his front, and held me close. I didn’t struggle against that either.
“I’m thinkin’ you givin’ up my tee isn’t a good sign,” he said into my hair.
He was so right.
I didn’t answer.
I was giving him the Ava Barlow Silent Treatment. I was famous for my silent treatment. Once I didn’t talk to Noah for a week after he’d done some stupid thing to piss me off. It drove him crazy and in the end he begged me to talk to him. This was one of the very few happy memories I had after he cleaned me out. I was figuring, cuffing me naked to the bed and going out to do backup during some dangerous situation (not to mention, leaving me at all during my second on-the-verge-of-having-a-Lucas-Stark-induced-orgasm in one day) was worth at least twenty-seven years of the Ava Barlow Silent Treatment.
Luke just held tight. I stayed tense. After awhile, I felt his bodyweight relax into me as he fell asleep.
I didn’t fall asleep. I needed advice and not from Good Ava and Bad Ava. I needed someone to talk to about my life and what I should do. I had people kidnapping me, rear-ending me and pursuing me in car chases down busy streets. I had Luke thinking we were together and what we had was a “fuckuva lot more” than nothing.
I couldn’t talk to Sissy, she wanted me with Luke. I couldn’t talk to my Mom, she was shit at advice and usually didn’t spend much time listening before she turned the conversation to herself. I couldn’t talk to my sisters because I tried not to talk to my sisters if I could help it. I couldn’t talk to Uncle Vito because he was scary. I couldn’t talk to Mrs. Stark because she also wanted me with Luke.
I could have talked to my Dad. He was a great listener and even better at advice.
I felt trapped, scared, sad and because of all that, tears slid out of the corners of my eyes.
I pressed my lips together. Luke’s arm went tight around me and he buried his face in my hair.
“Babe,” he said softly and I knew he wasn’t asleep and he knew I was crying.
Hell and damnation.
I kept silent but took a deep, broken breath to control the tears. When he heard the breath, his arm went even tighter but he didn’t say anything else.
After awhile, I fell asleep.
*
Sometime in the middle of the night, Luke moved me, rolling under me, situating me at his other side.
I tried to turn my back to him but he didn’t allow that, caught my leg behind my knee and hooked it over his waist.
I didn’t struggle nor did I say a word.
Luke’s hand ran from my knee, up my thigh, over my ass, halting at my hip. “Ava Babe, you awake?”
I told him I was by pressing my forehead to his throat but also told him, even so, I wasn’t speaking to him by keeping silent.
“Jesus, you could bring a man to his knees,” he muttered, but his tone didn’t sound angry, it sounded resigned, as if he knew this was to be his fate. Worse, it sounded like he didn’t really mind. Worse than that, I found this moved me in such a profound way it was so big I couldn’t bury it, I had to carry it with me and that I didn’t like at all.
It took awhile but I fell back to sleep.
*
I woke up in the same position as ever when I was in bed with Luke and I immediately remembered I was in the throes of my Silent Treatment.
Without a word and without looking at him I rolled away. I threw my legs over the side, went directly to the kitchen to nab a diet, got my stuff and went to the bathroom. I didn’t come out until I was dressed and ready for my day.
When I got out of the bathroom, the bed was empty. Luke was in the kitchen making coffee, chest bare (of course), wearing his sweatpants from last night.
I went about the business of making myself toast and calling Sissy to ask her to come and take me to the gym (she decided to come with me). All the while I acted as if Luke didn’t exist.
I was wiping my hands on a kitchen towel after rinsing my plate when Luke tagged me around the waist, backed me against the opposite counter and moved in, hands on the counter on either side of me.
I tilted my head back to look up at him (silently).
“How long you gonna keep this up?” he asked.
I just stared at him.
His hands moved from the counter to either side of my neck, thumbs of both hands stroking my jaw. This felt nice and the warm look in his eyes was so killer, my dedication to the Silent Treatment took a direct hit.
Sucking it up, I recovered.
He kept talking. “I fucked up, Ava, I apologized. Not much more I can do.”
I kept staring at him.