“Jules asked me once why I was working for Lee,” Luke said, interrupting my thoughts.
I licked my lips and then pressed them together. I didn’t want to talk about Jules but I wasn’t about to share that.
“I didn’t tell her,” he went on.
This I found surprising.
“She didn’t have the right to know,” Luke continued.
This I also found surprising.
“You have the right to know,” he finished.
Oh… my… God.
My body went still at the meaning behind his words and he kept talking. “I was recruited by an organization. I can’t tell you who, no one knows but Lee, Mace and Monty and, I’m sorry babe, but it has to stay that way.”
My body stayed still, I stayed silent and he kept going. “They trained me and sent me on assignments, mostly out of the country. I made a shitload of money and was good at what I did, but I wasn’t proud of it. The minute my contract was up, I got out. On one of the assignments, I met Monty. He tracked me down when I got out and he and Lee talked me back into working. What I do now is local, it’s a helluva lot less risky and I’m proud of it.”
I couldn’t believe he was telling me this. I didn’t even want to know this. On the one hand, it scared me. On the other hand, I was moved that he’d share.
I kept silent.
“Beautiful, you listenin’ to me?” he asked.
I stayed silent but I nodded. I had to nod. Even if I didn’t want to be having a heart-to-heart with Luke, I knew through to my soul it would be way out of line if I didn’t acknowledge his sharing.
His hand went up my back and twisted in my hair. With a gentle tug he pulled my head back so I was looking at him.
Then he started talking again, his voice such a low rumble I felt it against my skin. “During those eight years, Ava Babe, I wasn’t someone you’d want to know.”
I couldn’t stop myself, I didn’t even try. My hand went to his cheek and my body pressed against his.
“Luke,” I whispered.
I wanted to tell him there was nothing he could do, no one he could be that I didn’t want to know and I didn’t even care what scary shit he did or who he did it for. That was how much he meant to me.
But I couldn’t. I couldn’t open myself up like that.
Luke went on. “A few weeks after I left that life, my Dad died. I tried to reconnect with you, then you left me for five years.”
My heart lurched because there was definitely accusation in his tone.
I closed my eyes and tilted my head forward so my forehead was resting on his chin.
He kissed me there then kept talking. “Ava, I need you to tell me why you didn’t pick up the phone.”
“I can’t.” My voice was so soft even I had trouble hearing it.
“You will,” he replied in a voice nearly as soft as mine and it made me shiver.
He felt the shiver, his hand left my hair and his arms wrapped around me.
I waited for him to say more but he didn’t. Instead, he held me while I processed all he said, tied it in a bundle and buried it deep. He kept holding me until the tension ebbed out of me again.
And he kept holding me until I fell asleep.
*
As usual, sometime deep in the night, Luke pulled me over his body.
Not as usual, he stopped when I was on top of him.
His hands went over my bottom, down the backs of my thighs to my knees and then he pulled my legs up so I was straddling him. As his hand went between our bodies, my head came up.
“What’s going on?” I mumbled in a sleepy voice.
He didn’t answer. Instead he did an ab curl, sitting up, taking me with him at the same time he guided himself inside me.
“Oh my God,” I whispered at the shock and the thrill of it.
One of his arms hooked around my waist, the other one went into my hair and tilted my head down to his.
“I want you to feel it,” he told me, his voice husky.
The husky voice mixed with him filling me worked like a charm. I was instantly way turned on and I started to move. His arm went from around my waist, his hand slid down my arm, taking hold of my hand and pulling it between our bodies.
I kept moving, sliding up and down on top of him, my lips on his as he brought our hands between us and his fingers pressed mine to where we joined.
I had to admit, I liked the feel of us. We felt sexy and hot and wet and having my fingers touch our physical connection opened something inside me, something I really wanted to stay closed.
“Luke,” I breathed.
“Quiet, beautiful. Just move.”
I did as he asked and moved, slowly, rhythmically, all the while he held our hands between us, his other hand in my hair, tilting my head down, slanted so my mouth was on his. Every once in awhile, he’d kiss me, softly, touching his tongue to mine briefly and pulling away.
It didn’t take long before I felt it – what he was talking about, what he wanted me to feel.
It was our connection, not just our bodies but more. It was about history, it was about understanding, it was about the fact that we fit together and the fact that everything was just, simply exactly as it should be.