Okay, I’d used the ride home to try to come up with a believable lie. The problem was, I didn’t succeed.
“Wel … ” I started, drawing out the word to buy time.
Al of a sudden, Eddie grabbed my arm, yanked the helmet out of my hand, tossed it to Vance and pul ed me away about five feet.
Guess he didn’t feel like giving me time to come up with a believable lie.
When we stopped, he opened his mouth to speak but I got there first.
“I can see you’re angry, I don’t know why but—” He interrupted me.
“You don’t know why?” he asked.
“No, you see—” I began again.
“No?” He interrupted again, stil using his scary quiet voice.
“Wel no, what I was going to say was…”
“I’m drivin’ down the road and, stopped at a light, I see the woman who’s sharin’ my house, my bed, wrapped around another guy. You’re that woman and you don’t know why I’m angry?”
It didn’t sound good when he said it that way.
“Eddie…”
He got close, his eyes were glittery and his voice was stil scary soft.
“Don’t fucking ‘Eddie’ me. Seems I gotta spel everything out for you so listen good, Chiquita. Last night, when I said no one touches you but me, that means you don’t touch anyone but me either.”
I put a hand to my hip.
I mean real y, did he think I was stepping out on him?
“It wasn’t what you obviously think, Vance was just taking us to Zip’s!”
Uh-oh.
I immediately saw my mistake. I should have told him we were out to lunch, visiting the dog pound to play with sheltered puppies, buying crack, anything but going to Zip’s.
“What were you doing at Zip’s?” Somehow, the low, scary voice got lower and scarier.
I decided not to lie, not because I thought it was a good way to go, more like I couldn’t come up with another story quick enough.
“Vance was outfitting us with gear.”
“What kind of gear?”
“A few bits and pieces,” I decided to be vague.
“What kind of bits and pieces?” I shouldn’t have tried vague, I’d already learned that Eddie wasn’t fond of vague.
“Stun guns, tasers, pepper spray,” I said.
“Why?”
I took a deep breath and, since I was being honest, I went whole hog. “I’m going to look for Dad.” His eyes narrowed, his mouth tightened and my stomach lurched but I tried not to let on that he was kind of flipping me out.
“Show me,” he said.
I stared at him. I thought of ignoring his request but decided against it. He’d push it and I’d end up doing it anyway.
Indy had the stun guns and tasers in her car, the only thing I had was the pepper spray in my purse. I opened my bag and barely got it out when Eddie’s hand came out and smacked against mine, sending the pepper spray flying and skittering down the sidewalk.
“Hey!” I snapped, my head coming up and I pul ed out a genuine glare.
“What do you do now?” he asked and came in close.
I was getting mad, he was making me look like a fool. I knew he was doing it to make a point, but stil .
No, wait. Doing a quick emotional scan I realized I was already mad.
“Wel ?” he snapped, leaning in.
I wrapped the strap of my bag over my shoulder and planted both my hands on my hips, a Double Diva Threat.
“That wasn’t fair. You’re Eddie, I wasn’t ready…”
“You aren’t gonna be ready when this shit goes down either.”
I leaned into him too.
“I’ve been doing al right so far.”
“You’ve been lucky so far.”
Al right, enough.
I threw my hands out, getting nose to nose, and I yel ed in his face.
“Yeah? Wel , final y! For the first fucking time in my fucking life, I’ve been lucky and I’m gonna ride that wave.
What I’m not gonna do is fucking sit in a house with the fucking blinds pul ed and the fucking doors locked and wait for other people to solve my fucking problems, the whole time scared out of my fucking mind.”
Yeesh.
That was a lot of f-words but the moment warranted it.
“You need to be smart,” he said, not moving out of the space I invaded.
“I need to get control of my life and I’m going to get it and I don’t care how. You might not like it but that’s the way it is.”
“You put yourself out there, I can’t keep you safe.” I stared.
Then, I swear I couldn’t help it, I laughed. And something else I couldn’t help, since I was so close to Eddie, I leaned into him and when I did, I wrapped my arms around his middle and put my forehead to his chest. It was either that or fal over with the hilarity of it al .
“This shit isn’t fuckin’ funny,” Eddie said to the top of my head. His hands were on his hips, he wasn’t touching me and he wasn’t happy.
I looked up at him, my arms stil wrapped around him, my body pressed against his.
“Eddie, don’t you get it?” I asked softly, stil smiling, “I’ve never felt safe in my whole life. Never. Until now.” Something flickered in his eyes but he didn’t move.