“You don’t know these boys.”
“Yes I do. I grew up with kids like them.” This shut me up because that night I learned he had. It was somewhere I didn’t al ow my mind to go because I hated the thought of someone as magnificent as Vance Crowe living on the street but now he said it straight out, it forced my mind to go there.
I felt my discomfort edge away and I just stopped myself from touching him.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
He shook his head and his eyes got hard. “Jules, listen to me closely. I’m not another one of your causes. I survived. It was shit and I nearly didn’t but I came out the other side. What I went through, it made me who I am. You do your job, only your job, those boys’l come out the other side too.”
Then I whispered, don’t ask me why, but I did, “I love them.”
He watched me a beat then his eyes changed again, not to the concerned look, or the sexy look, but the look he’d given me that day at Fortnum’s.
It touched me somewhere deep; somewhere I’d forgotten I had.
“They’re good kids, they make me laugh,” I went on, unable to stop myself. “They’re smart, sharp as tacks and not just street smart. Al that and they’ve had no love, Vance, no love in their lives at al . Only abuse. They didn’t leave home because of teenage rebel ion or family misunderstanding or minds not meeting. They left home because they had to, to survive or they’d go crazy or get hurt. The only people in their lives they can trust, ever could trust, are each other… and me. Now Park’s gone, it’s just the three of us. Park was their leader. He was the best of them, keeping them safe and straight even as he searched for release for himself. Without him, I don’t know if I can save them.”
Vance watched me while I talked but at my last words, he broke in. “They gotta save themselves.”
“They’re kids!” I protested.
“They’ve learned enough to know their lives are in their hands.”
“They’re kids, Vance.”
“Jules.”
“No,” I shook my head. “No. They’re special and if I don’t do anything else in my life, I’m gonna make sure they have one.”
“Jules.”
“No!” I shouted.
Vance stared at me then I could tel he came to a decision. “I’m not gonna change your mind, am I?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“Then you gotta stop what you’re doin’ at night so you can be around to take care of them.”
I went back to silence.
Vance stared at me again. Then he muttered, “Shit.” I couldn’t help myself. I knew he was giving up so I grinned.
He caught the grin and his eyes flashed. I stopped grinning.
“You go out, I’m your shadow,” he said. “Someone has to keep you safe.”
Um… no. I thought.
“No,” I said out loud.
“Yes.”
“No!” I yel ed. “I know what I’m doing.”
“You don’t have a fuckin’ clue.”
I frowned at him. “Leave it alone, Vance. I know what I’m doing. I know you and al the boys think that I’m some kind of idiot female but I’m not. I know what I’m doing.” He dropped to his side, taking me with him so we were face-to-face. “I’m keepin’ you alive,” he said.
“Vance –”
“You’re gonna stay alive. At least until we have a second date.”
I rol ed my eyes.
It was my turn to give up. It was his turn to grin.
Okay, then I was going to get something out of it. “I want a favor,” I said.
His grin deepened and the change happened, this time it was the sexy change. “Yeah?”
“You’l get a second date if you come into King’s tomorrow and talk to Roam.”
The change vanished. “I’m not takin’ him in.” I shook my head. “No. I don’t want you teaching him. I just want you to walk up to him, talk to him in front of the other kids like you know him, like you respect him. Roam and Sniff. Al the kids know about you, they respect you. You act like Roam’s your boy, it’l enhance his reputation. It’l mean something to the other kids. It’l give him confidence.” It would do more than that. It would give him just a tiny smidgen of what he wanted. It would be the first time he got even a taste of a life’s desire.
To Vance, it was taking thirty minutes and talking to a kid.
To Roam, it could change his life.
Vance didn’t answer, he just looked at me.
I leaned in, a bit, not much and then I whispered, so low you almost couldn’t hear it, “Please.”
Vance’s eyes changed again, they went soft and sexy and I felt my breath catch.
“I’l do it.”
I didn’t realize my body was so tense but when he agreed I relaxed into him. His arms got tight and his hands drifted up my back, pressing me to his body.
“One condition,” he said.
Oh crap.
“What?” I asked.
“This second date is tomorrow night, you’l be here and you won’t stand me up.”
“Okay,” I agreed instantly.
“That’s not the condition.”
Fuck.