In fact, I didn’t think I ever wanted Vance to see me naked again.
“I think we should break up,” I blurted to the ceiling and then closed my eyes tight when I felt his mood change and fil the room with dangerous white-hot electricity.
“Sorry?” he asked.
I opened my eyes and looked at him. I shouldn’t have. He was looking at me, his brows were knit and his eyes were narrowed and I’d learned that was not a good combo with Vance.
“I think we should break up,” I told him.
“Jesus, you’re a pain in the ass,” he muttered and went back to his book.
“Seriously, Vance.”
“Shut up, Jules,” he said without taking his eyes from his book.
I rol ed to my side, reached out and pushed his book down. His eyes cut to me and with one look in them I rethought my actions but it was too late.
“Crowe –” I started but Vance turned, Boo flew off his bel y and he put his book to the nightstand. Then he came back to me and rol ed toward me, arm going around my waist, he pul ed me to him. He did this gently, how he’d been touching me for weeks, but this time it had meaning.
“What’s in that fucking head of yours?” he asked when we were lying side-by-side, face-to-face, our bodies touching.
“I… you… wel …” I stopped then started again, “it’s pretty clear you’re the kind of guy who has to have sex, um… a lot of it and, um… we can’t have sex anymore.”
“Why can’t we have sex anymore?”
“Wel ,” I started and halted. Did I real y have to explain it?
I looked at him. He was glaring at me.
I guessed I did.
“I’m kind of gross,” I finished.
“Gross?”
“Yes, gross.”
“How are you gross?”
Now I was getting pissed. “I can’t believe you’re gonna make me spel it out for you,” I snapped.
His hand moved, it went down over my hip then up under my shirt then both his arms wrapped around me. “He could have blown off half your face, you survived, you’d stil be lyin’ beside me.”
I blinked.
He didn’t pause for me to wrap my head around that mind-blowing statement, he went on. “One of those bul ets could have torn through your spinal cord, you’d be lyin’
beside me.”
Oh my God.
His arms got tighter, pressing my body against his and his face came super-close. “This is it. You and me. No matter what,” he said.
“Crowe –” I whispered, so stunned, so moved, I thought my heart had to have stopped beating.
“No matter what,” he said, his voice fierce and strong and rumbling through me. “You told me I was home to you and I get it. You’re home to me. I’ve never had a home. I like the one I found and I’m not losin’ it. No matter what.” I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to but I started crying. It wasn’t the wracking-loud-sobs kind of crying, it was the tears-fil ing-your-eyes-and-spil ing-over-silently kind of
crying.
He watched me cry and didn’t say a word, he just held me close.
“You… you said…” I stammered, “if I ever changed my body –”
“Show me,” he murmured, his voice and eyes had grown soft.
I stopped crying immediately and said, “What?”
“Show me, Princess.”
I stared at him for what seemed like ages knowing exactly what he meant.
His mouth came to mine and he said again, “Show me.” I sucked in a breath in an attempt to buy time to decide if I had the courage to show him. Then, deciding I did, in fact I had to, I pul ed away and he let me go. He pushed down the covers, I pul ed up the t-shirt and I closed my eyes.
I opened them again when I felt his mouth on me.
It moved, touching my scars gently, his hands roaming my sides, hips and then he pushed me on my back.
Then he came up, kissing the scar at my chest then he moved his mouth to my breasts, spending a lot more time there, first at one then the other. It felt great and I total y forgot how gross I was.
Then his mouth went lower. Then lower. Then he rol ed between my legs and his mouth was there.
That’s when I really total y forgot how gross I was.
After awhile he pul ed off my panties and made me come with his mouth.
It was fucking fantastic.
He rol ed to his back, I got on top of him and wrapped my hand around him.
“Jules, you don’t –” he started but I leaned down and kissed him quiet.
Then I guided him inside me and moved on top of him. I took my time mainly because I’d just had an orgasm so I had al the time in the world, not to mention it felt real y good.
Vance wasn’t real y into slow though. I figured he’d taken care of himself somewhere along the way but maybe I was wrong. He got impatient and sat up, his hands at my hips coaxing me to go faster. They slid up my sides and his eyes locked on mine.
“I wanna take off your shirt,” he said, his voice hoarse.
I shook my head.
He kissed me deep and hard.