Silence then, “I’m guessin’ you’re talkin’ about the boys.”
“I’m talking about what you and Mace and Ike did for me.
I feel like I should do something to repay you.”
“Not necessary.”
“Maybe I should make you some cookies,” I suggested.
“Really not necessary.”
At first I was shocked at the emphasis to his “real y”.
Then I remembered that Luke had smel ed the results of my last attempt at being a baking goddess.
“Okay, maybe I should buy you some cookies.”
“That’d work.”
Disconnect.
Wel then, there it was.
Store cookies seemed kind of a lame “thank you” for driving three drug dealers hel -bent on gang-raping and torturing you out of town but burnt cookies were no thank you at al .
I made a mental note to hit the bakery at Safeway and got back to work.
*
Now Vance was cal ing again and I tried to be cool but I had to admit (just to myself) I liked to see “Crowe cal ing” on my display. I liked it a lot.
I picked up my phone and flipped it open. “Hey,” I said to Crowe.
“Hey. Got some things to do tonight. Thought I’d take you to Lincoln’s for dinner before I did ‘em.”
“That sounds good.”
“Meet you at your place at six.”
“Okay.”
“Later, Princess.”
Disconnect.
I sat there with the phone to my ear and stayed that way. I liked how I felt even after a quick, meaningless phone cal from Vance tel ing me he was taking me out to dinner. I wondered if I’d always feel like that and I hoped I would.
Slowly I flipped the phone shut and set it on my desk, realizing this would be only the second time we’d been out to dinner. We’d had only one date and we were practical y living together. He was moving clothes to my house, I had toiletries at his.
Realizing this, I started to laugh, my body shaking with it.
Vance had done it. Just like everyone said he would, just like Lee, Eddie and Hank before him. He hadn’t wasted any time (I, however, had) and he’d moved so fast I didn’t even realize it was happening. Hel , it was my idea for him to leave clothes at my house.
I was laughing so hard, I snorted and Andy, who was on the phone, looked up at me with knitted inquiring brows.
I shook my head at him and mouthed, “I’l tel you later.” Andy blinked in surprise.
I’d been working with Andy for awhile. He’d come to the Shelter about six months after they hired me. I’d never, not once, told him anything personal about me. He was a good guy and he could make me laugh. He had a wife and a little girl. He shared stories al the time about what they’d done, funny things his kid said.
Me, nothing. I never shared.
I’d gone through life alone (my choice), in order not to feel, so I wouldn’t get hurt.
Now I knew what I was missing.
What kind a fucking idiot was I?
I struggled with that long after Andy got off the phone.
Long after I shared with Andy that Vance was practical y moving in with me. Andy had said, hesitantly and with concern, “Um… Jules, don’t you think this is a bit fast?” then I’d told him about Indy, Jet and Roxie, his eyes got big, but he didn’t look any less concerned. Long after I hit two different Safeways and cleaned them out of their M&M
cookies (the absolute best) and picked up some other provisions (doing this randomly because although Vance was going to be hanging clothes in my closet, I had no idea what kind of food he liked in the house).
This last thought had me cracking up hysterical y in the meat and cheese section and people gave me a wide berth. This was a good thing as it meant I had the meat and cheese section al to myself without anyone breathing down my neck to make a selection.
I got over my latest emotional struggle when I put the cookies on the kitchen counter, put the food away and gave Boo his kitty treats, letting him have a few more because I was in a good mood. Then Boo and I went over to Nick’s.
Then, realizing it was nearly six, I stopped outside Nick’s backdoor and Boo and I went back to my side. I dropped Boo long enough to write Vance a note saying I was on Nick’s side. I didn’t want him to think he was stood up again. Vance didn’t like that.
When I was done I stared at the note on the counter and went back to emotional y struggling with having to write a note to someone to explain my whereabouts, something I’d never done in my life. This didn’t take long because, as I stared at the note, that velvet shroud wrapped around me and I stopped staring at the note and started smiling at it.
Then I snatched up Boo and we went back to Nick’s.
I knocked on the door and stuck my head in. “Nick?”
“Hey Jules, be right there.”
I walked in and dropped Boo who immediately went in search of Nick.
I went in search of beer.
I’d just pul ed out a Fat Tire when Nick came in.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey,” Nick replied, staring at me intensely.
“What?” I asked about the stare.
“I don’t know,” Nick answered.