He thought I was nothing but a society slut out for a quick, drunken fuck with the hired help.
I didn’t know what I was expecting. But for some reason, some incredibly insane reason, I expected more from him. The fact he didn’t give it to me cut through me like a blade.
I put my hands to his shoulders and pushed him away. I stared at him, eyes at Chill Factor Sub-Zero as I calmly pulled my skirt down.
Then I put all my effort into walking away without falling on my drunken face. That would kill any chance at a brilliant exit and at that moment I really needed to make a brilliant exit.
To my surprise, before I could make it three steps, I found strong fingers wrapped around my upper arm and I was jerked around to face Hector.
“Where you goin’?” he asked, his hair sexy and messy (because it was made that way by my hands), his black eyes glittering dangerously even as they were still hot on me.
I looked at his hand then back in his eyes, my heart was beating wildly but I ignored it (I had loads of practice at that too).
“Get your hand off me.” My voice was pure ice.
He let me go instantly.
I kept staring at him and I didn’t know why.
No, if I was honest, I did know why. I wanted to say something. I wanted to explain. I wanted him to know that who he saw was not me. I wanted him to know that it was all show, all an act, all because I was scared of my own, fucking father. All because I was scared of letting anyone close so they wouldn’t get the chance to hurt me. That I was really someone else. I didn’t know who but I thought maybe she was nice. Maybe she could be funny if given a chance. Maybe she could be interesting. Maybe she could laugh once in awhile. Maybe, if someone helped her to be free, maybe she could be someone worth something.
I wanted above anyone I’d ever met (outside Daisy) to say this to Hector Chavez. I didn’t know why, I just did.
While I was trying to find a way to explain, he spoke.
“Lotta things I thought you were; a fuckin’ cock tease wasn’t one of them.”
The way he said it told me that the things he thought I was were just slightly better than being a cock tease.
I turned around and walked away.
Six months later, I sat behind my father’s defense table and watched Hector, cleaned up and wearing a suit (and looking good by the way), as he testified against my father.
I didn’t just watch Hector testify, I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
Hector didn’t even look at me.
He had no idea I was not there as the doting daughter providing moral support to her wayward father which I pretended I was.
No, I was there to make certain sure my father went down.
I wanted to be certain sure so I could finally, finally, finally be free.
I didn’t take my life in my hands feeding Hector information on my father for nothing.
I had no idea I wouldn’t be free. I had no idea that the shark-infested waters into which I’d been born, paddled in happily and unwittingly as a child and treaded water in warily as an adult, were far more dangerous without my father running interference.
I had no idea.
“Lee’ll see you now,” Shirleen said and my head snapped up.
I was so stuck in my memory of Hector, I hadn’t even noticed that the room had cleared; the only ones left were me and Shirleen. The phone had even rung; she was placing it back in the cradle and avoiding my eyes.
I stood and hesitated, waiting for her to come around the desk to show me to Nightingale. I had a fleeting thought that I might say something nice to her. Tell her she had pretty eyes, or… something. Make her see I wasn’t the Ice Princess, make her see me.
She started packing up, dumping fingernail polish, her cell phone and other flotsam and jetsam into her big (really cool, I thought, but would never have the courage to say) Louis Vuitton bag. Therefore she wasn’t going to escort me to “Lee”.
Without looking at me, she said, “Through the door, I’ll buzz you in. His office is first on the right. Knock before goin’ in.”
There you go. I lost my chance to be nice.
So be it.
I walked across the room to the inner door. She buzzed as I took another deep breath, opened it and walked through.
*
“What can I do for you Ms. Townsend?” Liam Nightingale asked me.
I was trying not to hyperventilate.
I was supposed to be meeting with Nightingale. Just Liam Nightingale.
I walked into the room and Hector was there, sitting on the side of the desk, one leg up, cowboy-booted foot dangling, one leg straight, cowboy-booted foot on the floor.