“No, I’m not,” I lied. I was drunk but not drunk enough to share. I’d done enough sharing. Sharing was only going to get me in deeper and I was deep enough as it was.
Ava looked at Daisy then at me. “You’ll want to run, to keep yourself safe. I know the feeling, we all do. Listen to the voices of experience and move beyond this faster than we did. It’s worth it, I promise.” I nodded but she got closer. “Seriously, Sadie, it’s worth it. I promise,” she repeated and I knew she knew that, the way Luke held her that night. And I was glad she had that, she was sweet.
But that was never going to happen for me.
I wanted it, more than anything in the world, to know Hector was putting his arms around me. But he wasn’t. There was no “me”. He was either putting his arms around “His Sadie”, a creature that didn’t exist, or his latest conquest.
Simple as that.
These were good women, they’d never been taught that lesson.
And I hoped they never learned.
I pulled in my lips and pretended to think about it.
Then I nodded.
“I don’t –” Daisy started, staring at me closely.
“Let her alone,” Jet cut her off.
“But –” Daisy went on.
“Give her time to think,” Jet interrupted again and looked at me. “You need to talk, anytime, day, night, whenever, you call one of us. We’re here, Sadie. Always.”
I pulled my lips in and didn’t have to pretend or force the tears that were shining in my eyes at what she said. I was wishing this could be real, could be my life but I knew it couldn’t.
Unable to speak, I just nodded again.
“We’re done here,” Jet told Ava and Daisy.
“We’re not done,” Daisy pushed.
“We’re done,” Ava announced firmly.
Daisy dropped my hand but only to cross her arms on her chest.
“I’ll be watchin’ you,” she warned.
I decided to set this firmly aside and go back to the enjoying the drunken portion of the night.
“Okay,” I told her like I could care less.
Jet smiled at Ava.
Daisy narrowed her eyes at me.
We heard Stella’s voice and I knew the band was going to start again.
“Rock ‘n’ roll!” I shouted, whirled and used that as my excuse for escape.
I threw open the door, flew out of the restroom, got two steps into the hall and slammed into something solid.
Hands came to my upper arms, I looked up and all my breath left me in a rush.
“Jerry?” I whispered, not believing my eyes or my fucking terrible luck.
I mean, seriously!
Why me?
Out of the frying pan and into the fire!
I looked again but my eyes did not deceive me. It was Jerry, one of the henchmen in my father’s gentleman army. Tall, blond-haired, blue-eyed, good-looking and, normally, mostly silent. He’d disappeared the minute the DEA moved in and I hadn’t seen him since.
“Sadie,” Jerry replied.
“Who’re you?” Ava said from beside me.
“Stand back, now.” Daisy didn’t care who he was and at her words all the girls got close to me.
Jerry ignored Daisy. “Your father’s got a message for you.”
My eyes went wide.
Then my back went straight and my chin went out.
All right.
I’d had enough.
This was not happening.
I’d had a tough day. A tough week! A tough fucking life!
I was going to take no more.
“Is that so? Well I have a message for him too,” I snapped back.
Jerry’s hands went tight on my arms, so tight, they hurt.
“Quiet and listen to me.”
“Last warning, stand back.” Daisy got in closer.
I ignored her and leaned in. “No, you listen to me. No messages, no nothing. My father doesn’t exist anymore. You tell him that.” Then, for good measure, I used one of Hector’s badass lines, “Got me?”
Jerry ignored my fairy princess/bimbo groupie badass and returned, “Sadie, I’m warnin’ you, Seth is losin’ patience with you.”
Ice Princess gave him a Chill Factor Sub-Zero Glare. “Do I look like I care?”
He leaned in and we were nose-to-nose right before he said threateningly, “Girl, you better care.”
“Take your hands off her.” I heard Eddie say from behind Jerry and I looked around to see him standing there, feet planted wide, arms loose at his sides and looking unhappy.
Jerry let me go and turned to Eddie. Then he gave an amused hoot.
“Detective Chavez,” Jerry said in an ugly voice. “Now I’m confused. I thought it was your brother who was tappin’ her ass.”
I gasped.
“Uh-oh,” Ava said from beside me as Eddie’s body went visibly taut.
Jet, Daisy, Ava and I huddled as Eddie warned Jerry, “You got one second to disappear.”
“Yeah?” Jerry taunted, pretending to look around. “You sure you wanna try to get a piece of me? I don’t see Nightingale at your back.”
“Eddie, let’s just go,” Jet put in.
“Move away,” Eddie told Jet, not taking his eyes from Jerry.
“Eddie –” Jet kept trying.
“Jet,” Eddie clipped and that was all he had to say. Jet shuffled us all back, we moved as one in our Rock Chick huddle, all of our eyes locked on Eddie and Jerry.