“Not surprised. Get Hank to bring you to Fortnum’s tomorrow, I’l put a key under the mat if you need to come home.”
“How’d it go with Mom?” I asked.
“She and Herb are comin’ out in a few weeks.” Hank was up on an elbow, leaning over me and, I couldn’t help it, I smiled at him. His eyes went soft and his hand went to my neck. He stroked my jaw and I bit my lip.
Silently, I shared my happiness and silently, he accepted it.
I mental y shook myself out of the moment.
“That’s good,” I said to Uncle Tex.
“Gotta go, told Nancy I’d cal her. She’s not gonna believe this, you and Hank, me cal ing Trish. Fuckin’ A. But things don’t stay borin’ around here for long.”
“I love you, Uncle Tex,” I blurted, then closed my eyes, wondering if that was too much for him.
There was silence, then, “Darlin’ girl.”
That’s al he said before he disconnected.
I opened my eyes and hit the off button on the phone.
Hank took it from me and put it in its cradle. Then he looked at me. “Have you eaten?”
I nodded.
“Did you have dessert?”
I shook my head.
He knifed up, grabbed my hand and pul ed me up after him.
“Get dressed, let’s go.”
*
He took me to a place cal ed Gunther Toody’s. A gimmick restaurant designed for family dining and to give the feel of a 50s style diner. Neon, chrome, vinyl and waitresses in white uniforms covered in slogan buttons wearing shocking red lipstick. Hank ordered a burger and cheese fries. I got a chocolate malt. The malt was the thickest, biggest, best malt I’d ever had in my life.
I was staring out the window, sucking on the straw in my malt, trying to catch a thought. Everything had been happening too fast, I couldn’t keep up. I didn’t know what to do next, where to go, what to think.
The only thing I did know was I needed to slow down, catch my breath, heal my body and get myself safe. I didn’t figure Hank was safe. Denver certainly wasn’t safe, at least not emotional y. Neither was Chicago, if I was honest.
I felt Hank’s foot nudge mine, taking me away from my thoughts and I looked from the window to him.
God, you’re handsome. I thought when my eyes settled on him.
I sighed and realized I was stil seriously in trouble.
He was done with his food and his plate was pushed away. He was watching me.
“There are things to say,” he told me.
I supposed there were but I not only didn’t want to say any of them, I didn’t want to hear any of them either.
I wasn’t going to get a choice.
“You told me that you loved him,” Hank said.
I blinked.
“Loved, lov ed, deh, deh, deh,” I said. “Past tense.” Hank leaned forward and took my hand. “Sweetheart, I asked, ‘Do you love him?’ and you nodded, not past tense.” Oh.
I remembered that.
Shit.
I leaned forward too. “I’d just been rescued from a crazy man and hadn’t slept in days. I was so tired, I didn’t know what I was saying or doing.”
what I was saying or doing.”
His
hand
squeezed
mine.
It
was
the
only
acknowledgement he gave that he understood and he was sorry but I knew he understood and he was sorry. A man like Hank probably didn’t apologize a lot and I’d already got one straight out from him that night.
I looked back out the window.
“I’m glad we got that straightened out,” I said to the window and I was. It would be good to have a clean break, leave things settled and good rather than ugly and bad.
His hand gave mine a little tug and I looked back at him.
“We’l go back to where we left it. We’l have to deal with Flynn when they find him, but you and I can go on from here.”
I shook my head.
“No, my friend Annette is bringing my stuff to Denver as we speak and as soon as I get it and my car, I’m going.”
“Sunshine –”
“No, Hank. There’s no going back. I’m not mad at you for thinking I’m an idiot, because, wel , I am an idiot, I’m just not an idiot about that. It’s that… I have to get my life sorted out and that’s going to take awhile. You should… move on.” His eyes flashed dangerously.
“Move on?” he said the words slowly.
I nodded.
“Yeah, it’s nice that we’l end on a good note and not a misunderstanding,” I told him.
“Roxie, we’re not ending.”
“Yes, we are. You’re a good guy…” I stopped and realized that was just it. He was a good guy. I was a nut, my realized that was just it. He was a good guy. I was a nut, my house had been trashed, my ex-lover was wanted in four states and stil at large, God knew where, and the thing we were both skirting around was that I was tainted. He knew it. I knew it. Even if he knew I didn’t love Bil y anymore, the fact that Hank would even think that let me know al I needed to know about what he thought of me.
“It’s over,” I finished.
“Sorry, wasn’t it you that I was fucking an hour ago?” he asked, his eyes narrowing.
I scowled at him.