“Sure,” I replied breezily.
“Who do you think it’l be?” Jet asked Ava.
“We’re not talking about this anymore,” Al y reminded Jet.
“That Eric guy is hot,” Ava remarked to Jet.
“Fuck you,” Al y said to Ava and stomped toward the espresso counter. We watched as she stopped halfway there, saw Uncle Tex grinning at her like a loon then she turned on her heel and stomped into the books.
We al looked at each other and burst into laughter.
We didn’t have time to enjoy our hilarity. The bel over the door went and Tod stormed in, eyes wild.
I didn’t have to guess why Tod looked wild. He was Indy’s official y unofficial wedding planner and it was T-minus five and a half days to nuptial takeoff. Because of this, Tod was clearly in a state.
“Do you think, because you’re al the possible targets for murder and mayhem, that you can get out of this wedding business?” he screeched upon entry just as Stel a, Daisy and Indy came back up front. Tod’s eyes narrowed on Indy and he went on screeching, “Girlie, there’s shit to do! ”
“I know, Tod, calm down,” Indy replied.
Tod threw up his hands. “Calm down? I wil not calm down! We need to confirm numbers with the catering company. We need to finalize seating arrangements. We need to box and bow the handmade truffles for wedding gifts. Somebody needs to learn cal igraphy in, like, an hour so we can handwrite the place cards.”
“I thought we decided I was going to do them on my computer?” Ava, unwisely, put in.
“You decided, I did not decide. Place cards need to be handwritten! Everyone knows that! ” Tod shrieked.
The door opened again, the bel ringing over it, Annette came in and shouted, “Yo bitches! Anyone get kidnapped or shot at today?”
Before anyone could answer, Tod turned to Annette and snapped, “What’re you wearing to the wedding?” Annette’s head jerked in response to his attitude slapping her in the face upon entry and replied, “Don’t know, Toddie Hottie. I figure I’l smoke a doobie and it’l come to me.”
Tod’s face got red and I feared his entire head would explode.
“You come to Indy’s wedding stoned, I’l shoot you,” Tod threatened.
“Dude, I only do weddings stoned. It’s the only way to go.
Weddings are boring. Snooze-a-rama,” Annette shot back then turned to Indy. “No offense.”
“None taken,” Indy smiled.
Tod gave up on Annette and turned his glare back to Indy.
“We need a Ful Wedding Briefing. Now,” Tod declared.
“Somebody cal a Hot Bunch escort. We’re al convening at Indy and Lee’s in half an hour.”
“Excuse me but Jet, Al y and Indy are working. We got a breather but any second we could get a crowd,” Tex threw in.
“Who cares!” Tod shouted back. “Weddings take precedence over all.”
“Not when sel in’ boatloads of coffee pays for ‘em, motherfucker,” Tex boomed in return.
“Don’t cal me motherfucker,” Tod threw down.
“Motherfucker,” Uncle Tex boomed.
“Oh lordy,” Daisy muttered.
“Okay, before there’s bloodshed, I just wanna make sure you’re al comin’ to my store opening tomorrow night,” Annette put in. “You gotta come. We’re gonna have crackers and that squirtable cheese stuff and everything.” Unimpressed by squirtable cheese, Tod informed Annette, “No one is going to your opening. Not unless every single response card has been counted, the caterers have been cal ed, we know where every ass is seated at the reception and those places have handwritten place cards and boxed and bowed truffles on their goddamned plates,” Tod snapped then pointed at Indy. “Thirty minutes. Your house.”
Then he was gone.
“Oh dear,” Stel a breathed.
“Divide and conquer,” Daisy charged in. “Indy, cal Lee.
Tel him we need an escort. Jet and Ava stay here, see to business. I’l cal Jules, tel her to bring May as soon as they’re done at work. Indy, Al y, Roxie, Stel a, Annette and me’l go to Indy’s place and get Tod sorted out.” Daisy turned to Annette. “And we wouldn’t miss your opening for the world, sugar.”
“Phat,” Annette smiled.
Daisy’s gaze moved to Stel a. “We’l talk about rescheduling with Dixon Jones at Indy’s. He was cool about you missin’ the meetin’ seein’ as you were kidnapped and al but we don’t want that lead to go cold.” Stel a’s eyes slid sideways to Indy who reached out and gave Stel a’s hand squeeze.
“Let’s get crackin’!” Daisy finished.
I’d spent the afternoon boxing and bowing truffles and arguing with Tod over seating arrangements.
Stel a spent the afternoon alternately arguing with Daisy and Shirleen (via the phone) about Dixon Jones.
A little after five, Jules and May arrived to help.