“What?”
“You want your Mom to know you’re doin’ the right thing?
Or you want your Dad to know?”
I shook my head. “I don’t care about Dad.”
“Kitten –”
My body went stil and I shouted, “I don’t!” right in his face.
I didn’t know why I shouted, I just did.
I also didn’t know why I was trembling and feeling panicked, I just was.
Big time.
I started to pul away again, thinking only of escape.
Where to, I had no idea but I had to get there, right…
effing… now.
Unfortunately, Mace was ready for me.
He turned us, picked me up with his hands at my waist and planted my ass on the counter. Then he moved in with so much determination his hips forced my legs open at the knees and he kept coming until he was ultra-close. We were chest-to-chest, privates-to-privates, nose-to-nose. He put his hands on the counter on either side of me.
“Talk to me, babe,” he demanded softly.
I turned my face to the side and stared at the counter.
Something was happening to me, something very frightening and there was only one thing I knew – I couldn’t deal.
I needed to lock it down.
Mace didn’t feel like letting me lock it down. His hands came to my neck and he moved my head to face him. His thumbs at my jaw, he forced me to look up at him.
“Talk to me,” he repeated and his eyes looked strange.
He was looking at me in a way he’d never looked at me before. It was a warm look but, if I was reading it right, it was fil ed with concern, so much concern it looked a lot like worry. And al that was mingled with such tenderness, at the sight of it, my breath didn’t take a flight, it beamed to another galaxy.
“I can’t,” I whispered.
The phone rang again and we let it, staring at each other.
Mace didn’t move, neither did I.
The phone stopped ringing and Mace’s face came closer, his forehead resting on mine.
“They don’t know where you are,” he said and it wasn’t a question.
I didn’t answer but my non-answer was an answer.
“You don’t want them to know where you are.” Mace made another statement and I kept quiet. “You don’t want them to know,” he repeated. “You don’t want them to know so much that you’d sabotage your career by turning down the scouts. Keepin’ yourself secluded here doin’ smal -time gigs rather than lettin’ yourself be what you’re supposed to be.”
I swal owed.
He was digging deep into a place he wasn’t al owed to be. A place I didn’t let anyone visit, not even myself and my trembling body started shaking.
I put my hands to his chest and pushed.
He didn’t budge.
“Move away, Mace,” I whispered.
“You lied to Daisy. You aren’t just scarred. You’re broken.”
I was beginning to breathe heavily.
“Move away.”
Mace changed tactics. “They can’t hurt you anymore.” I felt them then, the tears sliding up the back of my throat, my sinuses tingling.
I swal owed again, this time it hurt.
“Please, move away.”
“I won’t let them. Floyd won’t let them. Fuck, if Hugo heard them say one nasty thing against you, he’d tear them apart. You have people who care about you now, Kitten.
They can’t get at you. You can let it go. You can shine.” For some reason, I said, “They can get at me.”
“Kitten.”
At his soft, deep voice uttering his sweet, special name for me with his face so close, his eyes al I could see, I exposed myself in a way I’d never exposed myself to anyone. Not friends, not bandmates, not even Floyd.
“He can get at me,” I said, so softly I could barely hear myself.
Mace closed his eyes and his hands moved from my neck, down my back and he wrapped his arms around me but he didn’t take his forehead from mine.
I hated to admit it but his arms around me like that felt good.
No, if I was honest, they felt great.
I couldn’t deal with that either.
His eyes opened again and they dril ed into mine. “He can’t.”
I nodded my head.
Mace shook his.
I put my hands on either side of his neck and squeezed gently.
“You don’t get it,” I whispered.
“I get it.”
“You can’t.”
He pressed even closer, his voice got lower and I watched in horrified fascination as something tremendously frightening happened.
Earth-shatteringly frightening.
World-rockingly frightening.
I watched, my breath held, as the guard I never knew Mace kept firmly in place faded clean away.
“Babe,” he murmured fiercely. “I can.” That’s when I slid out of my pain, out of my panic and I saw them, clear as day, dancing malevolently behind his beautiful eyes.
Demons.
Mace had demons.
And they were far worse than anything I could even imagine.