He knew he was in there. He knew why. He knew that was his place to be. Because he knew he deserved to be there.
And this was why he figured he didn’t lose it with her ex-jackhole. From the beginning, the way she was with her ex and the way she was with Joker, it wasn’t a struggle. It was actually easy to check it.
Tack had been right.
Knowing he’d end the day with his cock buried inside her, go to sleep with her weight resting against him, knowing she’d given him that just as he’d earned it, he could keep his cool, mainly because he didn’t want to jack it up by doing something stupid and lose any of that.
Not to mention, Carissa had demonstrated she had sass and not only didn’t take his shit but was capable of shoving it right back.
That didn’t mean the guy wasn’t irritating as fuck and Joker wasn’t concerned about what that asshole intended to put his Carrie through. It just meant Joker didn’t make matters worse for his girl by losing his shit.
He didn’t get into any of that with her.
He said, “Just statin’ his play.”
“I paid the attorneys one hundred and fifty dollars a month. I couldn’t afford it, but that’s the payment plan they would accept. That’s gonna mean a lot to me,” she declared. “And what stinks is, I’ll think of him when I’m paying my bills every month and don’t have to pay that.”
“You’ll think of him for a month, then you’ll quit doin’ it.”
“He’ll make me think of him other ways,” she said.
“Only in ways that irritate the crap outta you.”
“This is true,” she murmured, her eyes again sliding to her boy.
“Baby,” he called and he looked back to him. “It’s done. You got the power to believe that. So make it done.”
“Okay, I’ll make that done because I’m hungry and I’ve cooked tonight and it’s good stuff. But one more thing.”
“What?” he asked.
“Big Petey won’t accept money.”
Joker dropped his hand and leaned back. “Carrie, I told you—”
“I know what you said but that’s unacceptable. He’s refused now three times. So when he put his wallet on the counter yesterday, I put three hundred dollars in it. Today, when I went into the cupboard for some food for Travis, those bills were shoved between the jars.”
Joker started laughing.
“It’s not funny,” she snapped.
“It is,” he replied, still laughing.
“It is not,” she returned.
He quit laughing (slowly) and gave it to her.
“Thirty years or less, Butterfly, you’ll be at a time in your life when your house is empty and you got time on your hands you wanna fill with what you like doin’. This boy,” he hefted up Travis again, “might be married, have kids, maybe need his ma. You step in, regular or just so he can take his woman out for a Blizzard, you gonna make him pay?”
Her face told him his point was made but she still retorted, “Big Petey isn’t my father.”
“Big Petey is everyone’s father,” Joker shot back. “He likes it like that. He’s lived a long time to build that respect. He’s earned it and he should get it. Give it to him.”
She again told him without words he got in there but that didn’t mean she didn’t push it.
“He barely knows me.”
“Love and care don’t come with time. They just come. My old neighbor I told you about, Linus, took one look at me and knew I needed a good man in my life. He didn’t step in after he spent years gettin’ to know me. The minute he had my attention, he asked me over to watch a game. I needed that so much, I didn’t make him wait years before I went over and watched that game. Growin’ up, I had two safe places. His house and any time I was with another neighbor a’ mine, Mrs. Heely. And she didn’t give what she had to give to me after takin’ years to get to know me either.”
He bent in again, holding her son, touching her only with his forehead to hers, and he finished.
“I know you give good. And I know you like how it feels when you give it. You were in his position to do good, you’d jump at it. Put your feet in his shoes. Feel what he feels when he gives to you. Then let Pete have this.”
She held his eyes from up close and he saw hers get bright.
Travis slapped his cheek.
He watched her eyes smile.
“Okay, sweetie,” she whispered.
He bent in to kiss her and got another smack from Travis, so he made it unfortunately brief.
When he pulled away, he asked, “What’re you gonna feed me?”
She grinned. “Carnitas.”
With the drama over, he realized he could smell it. He also realized she hadn’t cooked anything for him but that pie. But from his experience of the pie, and what he could smell, he knew she was about to give him something else that was going to make him fall more in love with her.
“You do Travis, I’ll sort our dinner,” she ordered.
“Gotcha,” he muttered, moving to the cupboard with the baby food, fighting back a grin just thinking of Pete putting the money there.
“Gah, duh, buh, buh, buh, muh!” Travis placed his order when Joker opened the cupboard.
“Carson?” she called.
He twisted her way.
Then he stilled.
She said nothing. Just looked at him.
But the softness of her features. The warmth in her eyes. The way she held her body. She didn’t need to say anything.
That said it all.
Then her face got softer, her eyes warmer, and she pursed her lips slightly, making no noise, but blowing him a kiss.
After that she turned away.
Joker turned back to the cupboard and his voice was rougher than normal when he asked Travis, “What do you think, boy? Carrots?”
“Buh nuh,” Travis declined, and Joker looked at him to see him staring into the cupboard with serious baby face.
Joker smiled.
Then, his chest light, precious held in his arm, his boots on the floor of a kitchen in a house owned by good people and occupied by his dream, he picked sweet potato and beef.
Carissa