I felt my eyes go huge as my heart stopped.
I thought I might black out as Elvira muttered, “Men. No clue.” Then I felt her hand on my arm and her lips at my ear. “Focus.”
I nodded repeatedly. “Right, yes, focus. Right.”
In no time (since half the stuff only Elvira could pull off, some of it only Lanie could pull off, a few things only Tyra could pull off, and only three outfits I could pull off) we’d narrowed it down.
They were draped on my couch and I was bouncing foot to foot.
“What do you think?” I asked.
“I like them all. They’re perfect for you. I can’t make a decision. Shit!” Elvira answered, my panic clearly settling in on her.
“What happened to, ‘I’m not nervous. I give good girlfriend?’ ” Joker asked and my head (and Elvira’s) again snapped his way. “Let’s go back to that,” he finished.
“You are not helping,” Elvira informed him.
“Darlin’,” smooth came at me as a hand hit my back and I jumped, tipped my head back and caught Malik’s warm espresso eyes. “Pink,” he said softly.
I looked down and suddenly it was like a beacon.
It was absolutely the pink.
I bent, snatched it up (filmy pink dress with v-neck, frilly ruffles adorning it, the same for the short sleeves, with a modest but becoming hem that would hit several inches above my knees, plus undies, and cream platform wedge espadrilles that had a glittery gold threaded through the fabric and ribbons that wound around and tied at the ankles).
I pushed through Elvira and Malik, dashing around the couch, shouting, “Thank you!” and I kept running down the hall, yelling, “I owe you!”
Then I ran into my room and slammed the door.
*
I sat in Joker’s truck, pulling at the hem of my skirt, thinking it was modest when I was standing, not so much when I was sitting down, thus fretting about it.
“Butterfly, relax. They aren’t gonna eat you.”
I looked to the side to see Joker, who I had not noted during my earlier crisis had shaved.
“You look sweet,” he went on.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, pulling at my hem.
He glanced at me and back to the road before he asked, “What changed from yesterday’s calm to today’s mega-freak?”
“Sharon asked me what I was gonna wear,” I answered.
“That’s all it takes?”
“That and the realization that what I wear is not only a reflection on me, but on you. And that I gave good girlfriend to Aaron’s parents likely because deep down inside, I would hope, I’m not a total imbecile and I knew somewhere buried there that Aaron was a total jerk. So I probably really didn’t care what they thought of me because, deep down inside, I had some notion they would not be in my life for long. Alas, I didn’t figure this out before I wasted years on him and gave him a child. Fortunately for me, I get that child too. But now, with you, these people, what they mean to you and what they gave to you, they matter. What they think of me and what they think of you choosing me is important. Hence… mega-freak.”
We were driving through a residential area but still, Joker swung immediately to the curb behind a parked car. I gasped as he shoved the truck into park, undid my seatbelt, hooked me with an arm, and yanked me to him.
Then he kissed me, hard and thoroughly, with tongues.
I was breathing heavily when he broke the kiss, and as surprising as it was, I didn’t ask after it.
I knew what it was about.
His people mattered, he mattered, and he liked that I knew it.
So instead, I moved the hand I’d had in his hair to his smooth cheek.
“You got rid of your stubble,” I whispered.
“Yeah,” he whispered back. “Cut my hair and shaved for Mrs. Heely. She didn’t like where they were before.” He paused before he finished, “And she matters.”
I felt my eyes get wet.
“I’ll explain it to her, Carrie,” he continued. “Start growin’ it back again for you. She’ll get it and put up with it.”
“Your face, sweetheart, your call.”
I watched him smile before he moved even closer (and he wasn’t that far), dipped, and slid his nose along my jaw, ending that bit of fabulousness by landing a light kiss on my neck.
Then he put me back in my seat and turned to the wheel.
I drew in a steadying breath and buckled up.
Joker pulled out.
In a few minutes, we turned into a development that was clearly assisted living.
I instantly hated it.
It was tidy. It was attractive. There were flowers and window boxes.
But each unit was tiny.
Joker had told me Mrs. Heely lost her son not in a war but during some military operation. He’d been Special Forces and things had gone awry. His team had achieved their aim, but they’d sadly lost two men doing it, one of them Mrs. Heely’s son.
I had no idea how old she was but I didn’t care.
I was my father’s daughter. My gramma was not in good shape, and she still lived at home because my dad made that so.
Thus I believed no one should live in a place like that.
And if Mrs. Heely’s son had been Special Forces, I was absolutely certain he’d agree with me.
“There’s the flag,” Joker muttered and I looked right, to what was clearly the clubhouse, and saw the tattered flag hanging there.
He’d told me about that too.
And staring at it, I felt it should be hanging a lot closer to the woman who only had that tattered piece of fabric left of her son.
Joker parked behind a black GMC Acadia and I looked to the diminutive row of houses. One with a window box had the lights on inside, curtains open, people visible through the window, and the door was opening.
“Oh geez,” I whispered.
“They’ll love you,” Joker muttered, and I heard his door open.
I had my door open and Joker was at it helping me down when I saw an elderly woman in a pretty dress with perfectly coiffed silver-white hair coming down the walk, smiling.
“He shaved!” she cried in glee.
“Told you,” Joker said under his breath to me.
I smiled.
He got me clear of the door, slammed it, and we took one step before the woman who had to be Mrs. Heely latched on to Joker’s face.