Return to Me

chapter 13


Placidia stood on her balcony overlooking the pine-covered hills. In the distance, majestic Mons serratus, with its dramatically jagged peaks, stood guard over Barcino. It was a beautiful, warm day, with a breeze puffing in from the sea. How she wished she could spend a carefree afternoon up there, exploring the nooks and rises, with nothing on her mind more pressing than getting back before dark.

She stretched and yawned, recalling yesterday’s happy events. Verica’s wedding to Frideger had been quiet and dignified, yet full of joy. Verica had thought she would never love again, yet there she was, gazing at her new husband with a tenderness that warmed Placidia’s heart. The couple would leave for Narbonne in a week’s time, accompanied by Alaric and Verica’s children. Placidia would miss them terribly, but Frideger was a good man, and Verica deserved this happiness.

Placidia thought again of how the couple had gazed at one another, the bond between them strong and beautiful to behold. Then, with a jolt, she wondered how long it had been since she had gazed at Athaulf in that way.

Of course she knew the answer. Regardless, she suddenly realized how badly she missed her husband. Though they’d been tender and attentive to one another, Theo had been standing between them since the moment he got sick. All these months they’d been missing their son, but now Placidia knew she must remedy the situation, or the bond she and Athaulf shared would die, too.

Hurrying inside, she was intent on finding him, but was met instead at the door by a gaggle of smiling girls.

“Mama, Gigi wants to take us to the market!” Marga squealed, hopping up and down.

Placidia couldn’t help smiling. Athaulf’s oldest girl, Gaila, stood with her sisters, Amala and Rosenda, and Verica’s youngest, Berga, was there as well. Gigi and Vana stood at the rear, and all of them wore their most ardent expressions of hope and pleading.

“Come with us, Mother,” Amala, just ten years of age, suggested.

“I cannot, but it sounds like a wonderful idea. Are you sure you want to take on such a project?” Placidia asked the two grown women.

Grins and nods were her answer.

“We will have escorts with us, of course,” Gigi added.

“So be it. Let me give you some coin so you may all buy beads and ribbons for your hair.”

The girls twittered with excitement as Placidia rummaged for spending money. Then, giving a small pouch to Gigi, she bent and took hold of Marga’s hands. “You cannot wander off. You must hold on to one of your sister’s hands every moment. Do you promise?” She gazed at the others, binding them all to this mandate.

“I promise, Mama.” Marga nodded vigorously.

“Then you may go with my blessing.”

After a round of hugs, Placidia watched them hurry off on their adventure, a blur of color and curls and delight.

She smiled, and her thoughts turned back to Athaulf. Would he comply with her wishes?

Beckoning a servant, she gave him a detailed list of her needs, and then headed for a private study, where she knew she would find her husband.

• • •

Bone weary from the over-long meeting, Athaulf pressed the royal seal into the wax. He hoped this was the final document, for he wished to go outside, to ride and hunt. One of his advisors pushed another document his way. Athaulf girded himself for more.

“Aelia Galla Placidia, Queen of the Visigoths!” a guard announced.

Athaulf looked up, surprised. Placidia stood in the doorway, her smile hopeful, and her gaze for him alone. He felt a jolt to his gut, because he hadn’t seen such a sparkle in her eyes in a long while.

He rose as she drew near and then took her hands in his.

“Husband,” she spoke softly, “can you be persuaded to put away the things of state for an afternoon? I was hoping we might explore the hills together, just you and me. It is such a beautiful day, and … I’ve missed you so.”

Joy swept over him at her heartfelt words. He spotted a servant just outside the doorway, waiting with a blanket and a picnic basket. “Friends,” he said to his advisors, “our work is done for the day. Please meet me back here in the morning.”

Placidia lowered her head, a blush flaming her cheeks.

Holding her hand, Athaulf took the picnic things from the servant, and together he and Placidia left the castle. Guards joined them, as they must, but they knew enough to keep a respectful distance.

At first, they followed paths beaten into the earth by centuries of use, and the going was easy. Soon, however, the paths gave way to animal tracks, the hillside steepened, and climbing became more difficult.

Placidia hiked without speaking, and Athaulf was impressed with her stamina. Keeping a firm grasp of her hand, he made sure she didn’t falter. Finally, when they reached a crest, Athaulf stopped and pulled her to him, and together, they looked out over the trail they’d followed.

The castle and city lay below them, the azure sea sparkling in the distance, like a blanket of jewels spread out as far as the eye could see.

“It is beautiful!” Placidia exclaimed. “I wanted to seek the beauty of the hills with you, never imagining what we would see from up here.”

“I’m glad you thought of it, my love,” Athaulf replied, delighted by her happiness.

Placidia turned to him, her eyes brimming with tears that spoke more of love than loss. His heart swelled. He hadn’t realized how long it had been since he’d seen that look. His own pain had made him unaware, until now.

“We’ve neglected one another,” he said, “haven’t we?”

Placidia nodded. “It suddenly occurred to me how much I’ve missed you — how much I’ve missed us.”

He leaned in and tenderly kissed her. “I, too. But it was understandable. Our hearts were broken.”

“And the scar will always remain, but we must heal, and you are my greatest salve.”

Smiling, he pushed a stray curl off of her forehead. “Do you remember the first time I tried to tame your hair?”

Placidia chuckled. “Yes, but there was no taming our hearts, was there?”

He grinned. “And the things you proposed … ”

“Athaulf!” she scolded, blushing deeply.

“I would gladly take you up on that now, sweet lady.”

She leaned against him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “That is why I invited you up here, and why I insisted we bring a blanket. There is a bottle of wine in the basket, too.”

“You’ve thought of everything.” He held her close, breathing in her flowery scent.

“My only thought was for our love.”

Her eyes were smoldering, unfathomable depths, and he wanted to dive in. “Then perhaps we should follow this track down the other side of the hill,” he suggested. “I doubt you want us to share our love with the entire city.”

Placidia looked over her shoulder and giggled. “Indeed! If we can see them, the reverse must also be true. I’ll follow your lead.”

Athaulf nodded to his soldiers, who had been following a distance behind. “Take your ease, men. I’ll guard the queen from this point.”

With a smile, he took Placidia’s hand and led her down the other side of the crag.

• • •

Barcino’s open-air market was a glory to the senses, filled with color, gaiety, and captivating smells. Gigi smiled as the girls, dutifully holding on to hands or skirts, moved through the crowd, gawking at ribbons, scarves, and straw hats. She wondered what they would think of an American shopping mall, and decided this place would give one of those a run for its money.

Gigi and Vana held up the flanks, and three guards covered the rear, their eyes constantly moving, checking the crowds for any threat. But the crowds were well mannered, and soon each of the girls had a new hat tied to her head with bright ribbons.

“Gigi!”

She swung around, seeking the source of the familiar voice. The guards surged forward and took up defensive postures.

“Please, I know him!” Gigi exclaimed, holding out her hands. “Lucius! What are you doing here? How are you?”

The guards let him pass, and Lucius quickly embraced Gigi.

“My prospects were rather damaged in Vada Sabatia,” he shrugged with a grin. “It seems my assistance in your matter did little to soften the impact of what I had done. Despite the fact that I returned the boat to its owner, as Magnus requested, I am a wanted man — yet not at all wanted by my mother. She prefers we correspond via carrier pigeon until the antagonism dies down.”

Gigi laughed. “Well, I think we may find something for you to do around here.”

“No need,” he replied, glancing at Vana. He straightened to his full height and ran a hand through his unruly blond hair. “I am making a name for myself in more legal ways, these days. I have spent the winter plying routes in my new ship — it’s bigger than the other, and one I purchased. I’ve been able to make a very good living.”

“I’m so glad to hear it,” Gigi replied, sneaking a peak at Vana, and noticing a touch of heat on her cheeks. The kids had gathered around, too, curious about the new face.

“Let me introduce you. This is Magnus’s cousin, Lucius.” Gigi went through all of the names, and was pleased when Lucius nodded respectfully to each girl. She saved Vana for last, and was delighted when Lucius bowed.

Vana’s cheeks were deeply crimson by now, and Gigi was jolted back to caution when she noted a spark of fear in her eyes. Of course she was afraid! Gigi recalled only too well how badly she had suffered after her attempted escape from Honorius’s palace: gang rape by his guards, torture, and then the horrible branding.

“Is Barcino your homeport, Lucius?” Gigi said taking his arm and steering him to one side, in order to give Vana some extra breathing space.

Lucius seemed to have noticed Vana’s reaction, too, and he turned his full attention on Gigi. “For a time my homeport was Portus, with the larger islands being so close,” he said, “but a shipment brought me here last week, and,” he cast a glance at Vana, “I think I may stay. It is safer for me, and commerce is more reliable.”

Gigi smiled. He was smooth; she had to give him that. “Would you like to join us for a meal? The girls are getting hungry.”

Lucius turned to the girls and put his hands on his knees. “Do you like spicy or mild? I know a fellow who serves wonderful lucanica, just a few booths from here.”

Gigi’s stomach growled at the mention of the delicious pork sausage. Delighted, the girls began jumping with excitement.

“Well, then,” he said, “come along with me. I’ll buy each of you a sausage!”

He held out his hands, and Berga and Marga instantly took hold.

“Do you know any songs?” he asked the girls. “I’ve always thought food and singing should go together. Perhaps you could teach me … ?”

Gigi smiled at his easy, winning manner. No doubt he’d sensed Vana was shy, although he couldn’t possibly understand why. The guy is wiser than I gave him credit for, she thought happily, as she and Vana followed in his wake.

• • •

They had long since come down from the hills, seeking refuge on their private balcony overlooking the sea. It was a balmy night, the air salty and fresh, yet the light breeze also brought the wonderful scent of flowers blossoming throughout the gardens of Barcino.

Placidia let her gaze drift to the ocean. It was dark except for swaths of sparkles dancing in sea froth, a luminous counterpoint to the summer stars, fixed and twinkling above.

She smiled as Athaulf wrapped his arms around her and she nestled against him.

Placidia’s glance traveled back to the sky. “All of my life,” she said, “I have been captivated by the heavens. Do you suppose I was foreseeing this very moment in my heart? Is this why the stars have always called to me?”

Athaulf lifted her hair and kissed the back of her neck. “Until this moment I thought only I captivated you.”

She smiled. “I had one of the ceilings at my home in Ravenna tiled in mosaics of deepest blue, inlaid with golden stars, because they spoke to my heart, as if they were a part of my very soul. I know I will never see my ceiling again, but I can still look at the sky and pray, as I have since I was a child.”

“And what did you pray for at such a tender age, my love?”

“That I would one day find a man who treasures me.”

“And you have, for I do.”

Without another word, Athaulf lifted her up, his arms strong, his body powerful with intent, as he carried her off to their bed.

He settled her among the pillows and took her hands, kissing one palm, and then the other. “Sweet Placidia,” he said as he leaned in and softly kissed her lips.

“Sweet Athaulf.” And Placidia felt a new hope rise between them, their love as strong as ever, splendid and deep, yet more heartfelt than before.

As he moved upon her, she prayed the seeds sown this day would take hold and blossom, giving them more to love and cherish, so much more.