I sighed. “Before.”
He dropped the stylus and started typing. I thought he might end up with a novel’s worth by the time all was said and done.
“Your relationship has been highly sexualized from the beginning?” he asked.
I nodded, even though he wasn’t looking. “We’re very attracted to each other.”
“Obviously.” He glanced up and offered a kind smile. “However, I’d like to discuss the possibility of abstinence while we—”
“There is no possibility,” Gideon interjected. “That’s a nonstarter. I suggest we focus on what’s not working without eliminating one of the few things that is.”
“I’m not sure it is working, Gideon,” Dr. Petersen said evenly. “Not the way it should be.”
“Doctor.” Gideon set one ankle on the opposite knee and settled back, creating a picture of unyielding decisiveness. “The only way I’m keeping my hands off her is if I’m dead. Find another way to fix us.”
*
“I’m new to this therapy thing,” Gideon said later, after we’d gotten back into the Bentley and were heading home. “So I’m not sure. Was that the train wreck it felt like it was?”
“It could’ve gone better,” I said wearily, leaning my head back and closing my eyes. I was bone tired. Too tired to even think about catching the eight o’clock Krav Maga class. “I’d kill for a quick shower and my bed.”
“I have some things to take care of before I can call it a day.”
“That’s fine.” I yawned. “Why don’t we take the night off and see each other tomorrow?”
Thick silence greeted my suggestion. After a moment, it became so fraught with tension that I was motivated to lift both my head and my heavy eyelids to look at him.
His gaze was on my face, his lips thinned into a frustrated line. “You’re cutting me off.”
“No, I’m—”
“The hell you’re not! You’ve tried and convicted me, and now you’re shutting me out.”
“I’m exhausted, Gideon! There’s only so much bullshit I can take before I’m buried in it. I need sleep and—”
“I need you,” he snapped. “What is it going to take to make you believe me?”
“I don’t think you cheated. Okay? As suspicious as it all looks, I can’t convince myself you’d do that. It’s the secrets that are getting to be too much. I’m giving all I’ve got to this and you’re—”
“You think I’m not?” He twisted in the seat, sliding one bent leg in between us so that he faced me directly. “I’ve never worked so hard for anything in my life as I have for you.”
“You can’t make the effort for me. You have to do it for you.”
“Don’t give me that crap! I wouldn’t need to work on my relationship skills for anyone else.”
With a low moan, I rested my cheek against the seat and closed my eyes again. “I’m tired of fighting, Gideon. I just want some peace and quiet for a night. I’ve been feeling off all day.”
“Are you sick?” He shifted, cupping the back of my neck gently and pressing his lips to my forehead. “You don’t feel hot. Is your stomach upset?”
I breathed him in, absorbing the delicious scent of his skin. The urge to press my face into the crook of his neck was nearly overwhelming.
“No.” And then it hit me. I groaned.
“What is it?” He pulled me into his lap, cradling me close. “What’s wrong? Do you need a doctor?”
“It’s my period,” I whispered, not wanting Angus to overhear. “It should start any day now. I don’t know why I didn’t realize it before. No wonder I’m so tired and cranky; I’m hormonal.”
He stilled. After a heartbeat or two, I tilted my head back to search his face.
With his lips twisted ruefully, he admitted, “That’s a new one for me. Not something that comes up in the course of a casual sex life.”