As I searched his troubled face, I considered what my fidgeting probably looked like to him. I’d gotten upset, dramatically run away from him, and then he’d found me holding my wedding ring like I didn’t want to wear it anymore. I immediately slid it back onto my finger. His eyes, still heavy with unshed tears, lifted to mine. My heart broke as I held my arms open for him. “No, of course I’m not leaving you.”
He still seemed unsure, so I sat up on my knees and grabbed his T-shirt. Pulling him into me, I flung my arms around his neck. He instantly relaxed as he wrapped his arms around me. Inhaling his scent, I whispered in his ear, “I was remembering all of the reasons why I love you so much. I was appreciating everything you do, and everything you are. I was falling in love with you, all over again.”
Kellan pulled back, amazement on his face. “You find out, the day after we get married, that I have a sex tape with another girl . . . and that makes you fall in love with me again?” He felt my forehead, like he was sure I was ill.
I laughed again and pulled him onto the bed with me. “Well, no, the tape doesn’t thrill me, but”—resting my head on his shoulder, I stared up into his deep blue eyes—“there is so much about you that does, and I won’t let this one thing ruin it . . . ruin us.”
Kellan smiled and kissed my forehead. “Have I told you today how much I love you?”
Nestling into the crook of his arm, I tangled my legs with his and rested my cheek on his chest, right over the spot where my name was etched on his skin. “Probably, but I’ll never get tired of hearing you say it.”
Fisting his shirt in my hands, I took a moment to enjoy his comfort. His deep voice rumbled in my ear as he broke the silence. “I’m really sorry, Kiera. I never meant for you to find out about that.”
I glanced at his hip, wondering if he still had the card in his pocket, then peeked up at his apologetic face. “I don’t want you to hide things just because you think the truth will make me unhappy. We’ve gotten into trouble too many times that way already.”
Kellan nodded, his eyes contemplative. “You’re right. And I think I would have told you eventually . . . although, definitely not the morning after our wedding night. But, to be honest, I kind of forgot about the tape with Joey.” His pursed his lips, clearly unhappy that Joey had un-fortuitously shown up and reminded him.
Fixing my gaze on his strong, clean-shaven jaw, I asked, “How do you forget making a sex tape with your roommate? I would have thought something like that stood out.”
Kellan tensed underneath me, and I shifted my focus to his eyes. Before I could ask the question that was filling me with dread, Kellan sighed and shook his head. “I really am sorry, Kiera. She asked . . . I didn’t care. I didn’t really say no to a whole lot back then and she—” He clamped his mouth shut and closed his eyes. When he reopened them, he whispered, “I wasn’t thinking about the future, about what I was leaving behind . . . and I’m sorry.”
Getting a really bad feeling, I sat up. “That’s not the only tape you made, is it?”
Kellan cringed, and I immediately had my answer. “I’m so sorry, Kiera,” he whispered again.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I shook my head in disbelief. “Oh my God . . . I married Ron Jeremy.”
Kellan struggled to keep his expression neutral, but he couldn’t for very long. I smacked his shoulder when he laughed out loud. Grabbing my hands, he sat up and pulled my arms around his waist. Pulling me into his chest, he soothingly rubbed my back. My brief spark of anger died as he held me. Then a feeling of melancholy washed over me.
“They’ll never all stay hidden, Kellan. Not once your band hits the airwaves. Not once your name is well-known. Once people know they can make money off of you”—I peeked up at his face—“those tapes will be everywhere.”
His smile a sad one, he nodded. “I know . . . and I can’t apologize enough.”
Examining his expression, sympathy welled in me. “It’s not my body being peddled, Kellan. You don’t need to apologize for something you did years ago. I just . . . I feel bad that your intimate life is going to be so . . . public.”
Kellan shrugged. “I don’t care about that.” He cupped my cheek. “I just don’t want it to hurt you.”
Leaning into his hand, I let out a long exhale. “Well, at least I’ll be prepared for it.” I smirked at him. “And it’s not like I’m ever going to watch them.” Kellan laughed, and I shook my head and closed my eyes. It stung a little that the world would eventually see my husband in all of his glory, but it didn’t really matter. He wasn’t that man anymore. He was my man.
Opening my eyes, I gazed at his concerned face. Wanting to ease his fear that I would reject him for this, I playfully muttered, “You’re such a whore.”
Shaking his head at me, he pulled me back down to the bed with him. After a moment, I remembered that we both had things to do today, people waiting for us. Just when I stirred, to remind Kellan that he needed to call Gavin, our bedroom door was tapped on. My mother’s concerned voice asked, “Kiera, honey, is everything okay?”