I bit my lip. Did I want this? No. I didn’t want his body anywhere near Sienna’s. But I wanted success for him, and for him to walk away now, over . . . this . . . seemed too great a price for him to pay. I nodded. “Yes, I do.” Kellan closed his eyes, nodding once. I gave him a light kiss, hating that someone else would be touching that miraculous mouth soon. “And, Kellan”—his eyes cracked opened—“if this is really going to happen, I need to be there. I need to watch it.”
His eyes sprang all the way open. “No.”
I nodded, kissing him again. “I have to, Kellan.”
“Why?” he murmured against my lips. “Why would you want to see that, Kiera?”
Because I’m a glutton for punishment. “Because it will be so much worse in my head if I don’t.”
“Kiera,” he pleaded. “I don’t want this, but if I have to do it, then I want you as far away from it as possible.” Pushing my shoulder back, he squatted to look me in the eye. “I don’t want to hurt you, and if our roles were reversed, I couldn’t handle watching you with another man.”
I gave him a sad smile as I whispered, “You already did.”
Kellan’s mouth parted, and a wave of sadness swept over his features. It broke my heart. “I love you,” I told him, bringing my lips to his.
Doing my best to erase his sadness, I tasted his lips over and over. His breath eventually picked up as the passionate fire inside him sparked under my administrations. His hands came up to tangle in my hair, holding my head tight to his. His tongue passed over mine, teasing me, and a low moan disrupted the stillness of our bedroom. An erotic noise burrowed up from Kellan’s chest, mixing with my breathy exhales. My impatient hands ran up and under his shirt. I needed all of the barriers between us gone. Now.
Kellan broke apart from me to help my eager fingers remove his shirt, then instantly sought my lips again once the material was free. I traced the lines and valleys I knew and loved so well. My fingers found the deep V of his lower abdomen, and I tugged on the waistband of his damp shorts, needing those off as well. Kellan helped me there too, and before I could really comprehend it, he was standing before me, completely bare and not the least bit self-conscious about it.
His eyes were hooded as mine roved over his body. He was mine, heart and soul. Sienna may have a brief moment with him—a very tiny, tiny, taste—but she would never have the full magnificence of this stunning man. I almost felt a little sorry for her. Almost.
Breath fast, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him onto the bed. As soon as my back hit the mattress, he started stripping away my clothes. My damp shorts met up with his on the floor, my tankini briefs immediately following. His hands slid up my sides, taking my top with it, and I groaned when my chest was free. His mouth enclosed a nipple, and I delighted in something I knew he wouldn’t be able to film with her. Not for a PG-13 music video.
Kellan, also reveling in what was his and his alone, moved my leg up his hip and immediately sank himself into me. I clutched him tight, groaning “Yes” a lot louder than I probably should have.
Kellan sucked in a breath through his teeth. “God, Kiera . . .” he murmured, before he began to move.
Maybe it was the wildly swinging emotions we’d been experiencing just before this moment, but every cell in my body felt energized, alive, and tingling with sensation. And I didn’t hold anything back as Kellan and I rocked together. This was ours, and Sienna would never share in it. And even though she was nowhere near us, I let out my joy as if she could hear it.
Kellan did too. And it wasn’t too much longer before we were both approaching the crest, our bodies lightly shaking, slightly damp from the exertion. As my climax burst through me, I raked my nails down Kellan’s back. Not strong enough to draw blood, but strong enough that he would feel it for a while. My little reminder of who we were and what we’d been through. Kellan buried his head into my shoulder. He cried out as his body tensed, then released. I groaned as I felt him, heard him, was one with him.
No, Sienna would never have this. Her pale imitation of this moment wouldn’t even come close.
Breath heavy, Kellan rolled to my side. I kissed his cheek and he smiled with his eyes still closed. I watched him as he recovered, mesmerized by him. His smile never faded, but his breathing slowed and evened. When his face relaxed and his breathing turned shallow, I realized that I’d relaxed him right into sleep. That gave me a strange feeling of euphoria. But then I started thinking about Wednesday, and my earlier bravado faltered. Maybe Sienna wouldn’t have this moment with him, but was I opening a can of worms by giving them a taste of each other? Was I making a monumental mistake by allowing this to happen?