Walking past her, Kellan scooped my laptop off of the table, then twisted to Sienna. “I was actually going to rest a little bit before the show. Hope you don’t mind.” Sienna shrugged as she shook her head. Kellan turned to me. “You okay?” He discreetly indicated Sienna, and I knew what he meant—Are you okay being alone with her?
I nodded. Feeling those butterflies return, I touched the laptop with my finger. “I’m more worried about you reading this.”
Kellan kissed my cheek, then breathed in my ear, “It won’t change how I feel about you.” His breath on my skin raised the hairs on my neck.
As Kellan started walking toward the back, I turned to face Sienna. She was watching him leave with a small smile on her lips. “Kind of weird, wasn’t it?” I asked her.
She tore her gaze away from Kellan’s backside to look at me. “What, love?”
I smiled at her as genuinely as I could, but it felt fake to me. “All those photographers waiting at the club when we arrived?”
Sienna’s perfectly painted lips curved into a smirk. “Not really. My location seems to be leaked on a daily basis. I can barely use the bathroom without a witness.” She indicated the empty bus with her hand. “It makes me a little jealous to watch how easily the group of you can come and go. I mean, your sister is shopping at a mall right now, isn’t she?” I nodded, and Sienna sighed. “I can’t even step inside a mall without being mobbed.”
As I considered what her life was like, what Kellan’s life was quickly becoming, I told her, “You could give it all up, move somewhere remote?”
Sienna laughed as she twirled a dark lock around her finger. “Give up the stage? Sure, I could, but what’s the point of life if you’re not doing what makes you the happiest? And even though it has its setbacks, the perks far outweigh them. I’m on top of the world right now, and I wouldn’t change that for anything. I like where I am.”
Her eyes drifted back to where Kellan was hiding away and I thought there was one thing Sienna would change if she could—Kellan would be right beside her on her throne as she ruled the world.
Sienna stayed and visited with me for about an hour. She glanced back at the cubbies a handful of times, but Kellan never reemerged. Perhaps bored, perhaps disappointed, Sienna frowned and said, “See you at the show,” loud enough for Kellan to hear. If he did, he didn’t respond. Slapping on a flawless smile, Sienna proudly left the bus.
After Sienna left, curiosity got the better of me and I went to go check on Kellan. He had closed the curtain to the sleeping area behind him when he’d gone in there. I tentatively pulled it aside and stuck my head in. The light was on in our cubby, and the privacy curtain was open. Kellan was on his side, staring at the laptop. His expression was intense, absorbed.
Quietly walking toward him, I murmured, “Sienna left.”
He started and peeked up at me. “I didn’t hear you come in. You scared the piss out of me.”
I smiled at his comment and sat on the edge of our bed. Chewing my lip, I pointed at the computer. “Do you hate me?” I whispered.
Kellan stared at me a long, silent moment. His face was still blank. Aside from that brief moment of surprise, I had no idea what he thought. Had he read about my feelings for Denny? God, had he read our sex scenes? I shouldn’t have let him read the full manuscript. I should have edited. How did he feel about it? Not knowing anything that was going on in his head was killing me, but I waited for him to be ready to speak. When he sighed and closed the computer screen, I braced myself for the worst.
Climbing out of the hole we slept in, he moved to sit beside me on the edge of the mattress. Our heads rested against the bunk above us. Face softening into sadness, he finally whispered, “I’m so sorry . . . for all the pain I put you through.”
My eyes watered. “For all the pain you put me through? I’m the one that cut out your heart, then handed it back to you in pieces.”
Kellan smirked. “I haven’t gotten that far in the story yet. I’m still at the part where I’m an asshole.”
Smiling, I bumped his shoulder with mine. “I kind of like it when you’re an asshole.”
Kellan smiled at the ground. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He looked up at me again. “But I mean it. I really am sorry. I should have just been honest with you. I wanted to tell you how I felt . . . I just . . . couldn’t. It was too hard.”