My legs froze with a jolt so sudden that my bag flopped around to my front and pulled me off balance. I fell in a heap on the grass, unsure what had just happened. In the few seconds it took for me to gather the items that had fallen out of my bag, Amon was upon me and offered a hand. When I stubbornly refused, he used his controlling voice again. “Lily, take my hand.”
This time I made a concerted effort to refuse his command and was rewarded with pain—stabbing, knife-twisting-in-my-gut pain. It made me gasp, and I absolutely knew Amon had caused it somehow. It actually hurt to disobey him. When my determination weakened and the pain overwhelmed me, I whimpered and gave in. My traitorous hand shot into his and he pulled me up. Resentment was an insufficient word to describe what I felt toward him at that moment.
“You will sit down and talk with me,” he ordered.
Gritting my teeth, I took a defiant step away and staggered, hunched over in wrenching agony. The rage I felt grew with each passing second. My whole body shook with it, and in that moment there was not a person or a thing on earth that I hated more than him. I was seething, and I’d never felt that way about anyone before. Not in my entire life.
“Let me go!” I hissed as he guided me to a nearby bench.
“No. You will not run away and you will not scream.”
Angry tears filled my eyes, and I let them run silently down my face, desperate not to give him the satisfaction of seeing the effect his actions had on me and yet unable to do anything to prevent it. “What are you going to do to me? Is this a kidnapping? An assault?”
He looked at my face then and noticed the tears. Tentatively, he wiped one from my cheek with his thumb, his expression full of regret. “Sit,” he said, but then changed the tone of his voice. “Please.”
Amon took the bag from my shoulder and set it on the bench next to me, then paced in front of me for a few moments. “I am sorry to use my power to control your actions. I know how deeply you abhor it, but—”
“You don’t know anything about me,” I spat.
He sighed. “I know more about you with each passing minute, Young Lily. Even without our connection I can see how you despise the idea of submitting your will to another, but you must understand, I cannot let you leave. You do not need to fear me. I have no desire to hurt you.”
“I don’t understand what you’re doing to control me, but I will fight you. In fact, I…I will hate you for this forever.” I’d never actually said those words to anyone before and I wasn’t really sure I could follow through with the threat. I’d never had cause to feel hate.
Sure, there were people I didn’t like, but I just categorized them in little boxes labeled Needy, or Low Self-Esteem, or Bully. It never affected me emotionally. I was always able to distance myself and keep my emotions in check, but with Amon it was different. The idea that the boy I took under my wing would manipulate me hurt more than I thought possible.
Amon’s look became stony. “Hate me, then. Struggle. Rail against me. Rebel at every turn, but it will do you no good. You will cause yourself only more pain. I told you, Lily, you are bound to me and you will remain by my side for as long as I wish it.”
The indignation and rage I felt melted into something else. My body shook and I felt like a dog that had been kicked by its master. “That’s a fine thing to do when all I’ve done is help you,” I said.
He shrugged as if he didn’t care how I felt, but I could see that he did, and that confused me even more.
“It is necessary,” he finally acknowledged.
“But why? Why can’t I leave? What do you want from me?” I sniffled loudly and, with a groan of vexation, rummaged through my bag until I found a pack of tissues.
“I told you. I need to find my brothers.”
“You must be heartless to take advantage of the kindness of a stranger like this.” Teardrops clung to my lashes, making Amon blurry. Why was I crying? I never cried. Crying was ugly. It was a sign of ingratitude. My emotions were too close to the surface. Attempting to tamp them down, I blew my nose and wiped my eyes. “Do you even have cancer?”