“How could you begin to imagine that your request is a presumption? Of course I will. I’ll hold your memory close to my heart forever.” My eyes brimmed with tears, but I would not allow them to fall. I didn’t want to waste our last precious minutes with him trying to comfort me. If he had to leave, then I wanted to put on as brave a face as possible.
He smiled. “When our bond is broken, you might feel differently. You might wish to forget. Even so, I am grateful to have had this time together.”
“Wait.” I drew back. “You said when our bond is broken?”
“Yes. It must be dissolved before I depart this life.”
“What do you mean dissolved? I don’t want to break our bond. You know how I feel about you.”
“If we do not end our connection you will never find a moment of happiness. As long as you live you will not love another. Your mind will journey with me in the afterlife as you dream. It will lead to madness, Lily. It would destroy you.”
I folded my arms. “Is this what Anubis was talking about? The pain he mentioned?”
“Yes. It is the reason I kept my distance from you.”
“It’s why you wouldn’t kiss me before, isn’t it?”
Amon nodded. “If I had kissed you, it would have sealed the bond. The longer the connection is allowed to continue, the harder it is to break. Even now, having been formally bonded with you only this short time, there will still be echoes, times when we will call to one another across dimensions, but the sooner we break it, the better it will be for you.”
“So, assuming I agreed to this, how would we go about breaking it?”
“You must kill me.”
He stood there, arms at his sides, fists clenched, his beautiful eyes staring at me, willing me to look at him. I turned away and crumpled to the ground.
“This is a sick joke, right? You’re not seriously asking me to sacrifice you?” I gasped.
“It is the only way to break the bond,” he said softly. “Once a connection between one of us and a mortal is sealed, the only way to sever it—”
“Is to literally cut you out of my life.”
Crouching down next to me, Amon squeezed my shoulder. “You must slay the one who cast the spell. I wanted to spare you this, but it was the only way to heal your body.”
What he’d said made me look up. “Anubis said something about the spell just being a formality. What did he mean by that?”
“He meant…” Amon paused. “He meant that my heart had made the choice long before I was willing to acknowledge it.”
“Well, I can’t. I can’t do this. I won’t kill you, Amon. If Anubis wants it done, he’s going to have to do it himself. I can’t be here for it, and I certainly can’t do it myself.”
“You must, Lily. The consequences, should we fail, would be disastrous for you.”
“No.” I shook my head, tears finally spilling over and blinding me. “No!” I said, more loudly.
Sighing and running a hand through his hair, Amon sat down next to me, pulling me onto his lap. I sobbed, wetting his neck with my tears. “Hush, Nehabet,” he soothed as he stroked my back, filling my frame with warmth that I wanted to reject but instead lapped up like I’d never feel it again. In the pit of my stomach, coldness stayed with me no matter how much liquid sunshine he shared.
Quietly, he murmured, “You know that my death is inevitable, regardless.”
I nodded against his chest.
“Even though our bond will be broken, I will think of you,” he promised gently. “My love for you will not diminish. During each night that passes I will bring your image to mind. You are mine—my Nehabet—a rare desert flower that blooms in the waters of the oasis.
“As the days and the years of your life go by, I will keep watch over you, and when your blossom closes its petals, finally surrendering to the night, I will meet you at the dawn of your new existence and I will be your guide in the afterlife.”
Sniffling, I said, “I’m not sure your afterlife and mine are the same.”
Gritting his teeth, he said, “It does not matter. I will find you. Do you believe this?”
“I believe you,” I said quietly.
He kissed me again, softly, his lips lingering on mine, and I tasted the salt of my tears. We were interrupted by the whine of a dog.