Amon sat back in the chair as if utterly exhausted by our conversation. The wounded young man in my room was a shadow of the man I’d come to know. He didn’t speak of love, or say that he would miss me, or even that he appreciated the time, let alone the energy, that I’d given to him. What was even more disturbing was that he seemed to now lack faith in his purpose.
The god of the sun was damaged. Betrayed by his body. An eternal being without hope. The despair and the loss he radiated was evident, even with him blocking our connection. Gone were his sunshine smile, his delight at discovering the world around him, and his belief that he could overcome any odds by fulfilling his duty. He was definitely not the person I’d come to know and had fallen in love with.
“Amon? There’s still a way out of this. There has to be.”
“No, Lily. There is not.”
“Tell me. It’s more than just your eyes, I can feel it. You don’t have to hold back. I can help.”
Amon let out a long, slow breath. Then he lifted his head, his expression unreadable. “You are weak, Lilliana. Mortal. I could crush you into powder with just my mind if I wanted to. There is no place for you at my side. It is time you came to terms with that.”
I momentarily lost my breath. What he’d said hurt, though I acknowledged the truth of his words. I was weak and mortal. And, like Asten said, a poor excuse for a devotee. The worst thing wasn’t the mention of my weakness or that he didn’t want me with him—I might be able to get over that. I harbored no illusions about my strengths and weaknesses.
No, the hardest thing to hear was my full name—Lilliana—cross his lips. He’d never called me that before, and the formal way he said it reminded me of just who I really was. Lilliana. The name my father used in his tolerant-yet-stern voice. It was what my mother called me when she wanted to make sure I heard her instructions or when she introduced me at parties.
Until now, it wasn’t a name that Amon had ever called me.
Lily was the name of a girl who headed off on fantastic adventures. But at my core, I was the prim and proper, going-places-whether-I-wanted-to-or-not Lilliana. I felt as if Amon himself had slammed the door on the golden birdcage I had dared to look out of.
With Amon I’d thrown caution to the wind. I should have known better. Lilliana should have known better.
Stiffly, I jerked the blanket back, not caring that Amon was there. I’d stripped down to my underwear sometime in the night, draping my new clothing over the nightstand. It wasn’t like Amon could see me anyway, which was good considering the hot, angry tears that had begun rolling down my face.
I was jerking the tunic over my head when Amon cleared his throat. “You should be aware that I can see you.”
“What?” I said, spinning, the slacks clutched in front of me. “How is that possible?”
“Hassan returned the Eye of Horus.”
“But I thought that was a mind-reading kind of thing—a way to see pathways.”
“The Eye is many things, and it would seem it can do even more than we supposed.”
“Well, turn it off so I can finish getting dressed.”
“The image is gone. You may clothe yourself now.”
Though he assured me he wasn’t peeking, the corners of his mouth were turned up in a small smile. Deciding that modesty was the least of my worries, I quickly slipped my pants on and rummaged under the bed for my sandals.
“How did you configure it to see, anyway?”
“You misunderstand. I cannot see. The Eye merely showed me an image like the one you demonstrated to me on your…phone.”
“Well, congratulations on your little going-away peepshow. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see if there’s any food left.”
“Lily.” The way he said my name stopped me in my tracks. Amon rose, reaching out his hand until he touched the wall. Then, feeling along it, he made his way to my side. His nostrils flared when he was within a foot of me, and he paused.
Tentatively, he reached his fingers out until they made contact with my hair. “I did not intend to embarrass you or cause you discomfort,” he murmured. “The Eye responds to the wishes of the person in possession of it. This is why Dr. Hassan suddenly knew the answers to the many questions he had in his mind.”