My head snaps up, brows knitting. She pauses, panting, then, “And I hate myself for loving you.”
What did she just say?
Her lips quiver and she chokes out, “Because I can’t give up on you.”
A single tear trails down her cheek.
Hold up. Back up. What did she just say?
Lexi loves me? Since when?
Standing slowly, I make my way over to her, searching her tearful face. When we’re almost toe-to-toe, I lift my hand to brush her cheek. But she flinches.
And it guts me.
His hand comes up to cup my cheek.
“Don’t, babe. Don’t look at me like that. Not gonna hurt you. Not like that.”
I don’t know why, but somehow, I already know this.
He adds on a whisper, “I’d kill anyone who tried.”
Immediately, I respond with, “I know.”
What I don’t add is, ‘And it scares the shit out of me.’
Twitch’s eyes peer down into mine; knowing what’s coming, I tilt my face up as he lowers his to mine and takes my lips in a demanding kiss.
And that kiss conveys so much more than words ever could.
I hate myself for loving this man.
Kissing Lexi with everything I have, I can almost feel her love flowing through me.
I feel drunk. Love drunk.
Placing my forehead on hers, I whisper, “You gotta promise to never leave me. I-I…you just gotta.”
Her response is, “You have to promise to try to love me back. What you’re doing to me…that’s not how you treat a person you love, Twitch.”
I’ve loved you since you were six.
Kissing her once more, I tell her without hesitation, “If you promise to never leave me, I will love you. And be good to you. I’ll treat you like a queen.”
My queen.
I heard somewhere that a king only bows down to his queen.
And I’m bowing down to Lexi.
My chest aches. I don’t know if I like this love thing.
She whispers the magic words, “I promise I won’t leave you.”
And just like that…
…Lexi became mine.
Sitting at my desk, back at work, I chew on the end of my pen and recall the rest of our conversation today. I should be working, but my mind is trained on one thing. Twitch. Our talk was short, but it felt like so much was put out there in such few words.
He kissed me again and again, then asked, “You’re mine? Just mine?”
And the way he asked, with such insecurity in his voice, was as if he didn’t know the answer to his questions. And it calmed me to know he was as uncertain about this as I was. His questions lacked his usual confidence and sounded almost juvenile. I told him honestly, “If you let me in and you promise to try, for me, then yes. I’m yours.”
Pulling back and looking down at me, his eyes crinkled in the corners. “So we’re doing this? You’re my girlfriend?”
Blushing, I dipped my chin, “I-I guess so. That’s usually how these things go. I know you don’t love me…”
He cut in with, “I will love you.”
“…yet, but it doesn’t matter to me. I’m willing to make this work if you think you can let me in enough to understand you. That’s all I need, Twitch. Help me understand you.” I whispered by the shell of his ear, “Just let me in.”
Wrapping his arms around me, he held me tightly, buried his face into my neck, and mumbled, “I’ll try, baby. I’ll try.”
And I believed him.
How this all happened so quickly, I really have no idea.
One second I came to offer Twitch help – help he desperately needs – and the next, I’m losing my anal V-card. Then I’m yelling, and finally, I’m Twitch’s girlfriend.
Chuckling humorlessly, I shake my head at myself.
This could be the biggest mistake of my life.
Or it could be the most perfect prize. One you’ve earned.
There’s something about Twitch.
He’s just…raw.
Everything about him is raw. And gritty. And unbound.
He’s a raging fire. And I’m a fragile moth fluttering into the flame. Sooner or later, I’m going to get burned. I know this.
Will I even survive the heat?
How can I trust this man after everything we’ve been through in such a short time?
Without skipping a beat, my mind provides the answer.
Easy.
Spending the afternoon revisiting my decision to be involved with a man like Twitch made my mind turn to mush.
I have an ethical responsibility within my sector to help all that need it. I know Twitch needs help, even if he doesn’t believe that. It’s no real secret that man has anger issues that borderline violent. I wonder what I’m getting myself into. He has secrets. Secrets that run deep.
Thinking of the things that could have possibly happened to him makes my heart squeeze.
People don’t turn into the kind of person Twitch is for no reason at all.