Idly running my fingers over a can of peas, I ponder the relationship between Ramon and my brother. I know, without a doubt, that Ramon misses my brother and I sometimes wonder if there had been something more between them because Ramon seems too pissed that Noah has disappeared than that of a concerned friend.
Noah is a whole other problem. He might not be around, but I worry about him daily. All I can do is hope that he’s all right because I refuse to think anything else.
Ramon has been supportive and it’s clear that he’s worried about Noah. He even hired a private investigate about eight months ago, but as yet there hasn’t been any trace of my brother.
Sighing, I look out of the window to my right and catch my reflection. Reaching up, I touch a dark curl, which has come loose from the clips holding the majority on the top of my head. I haven’t bothered with make-up, apart from the pink lip-gloss I’ve slathered over my plump lips. Ramon told me I look sultry. Whatever that means.
I slide my hand down the fine silk of my wraparound dress. The dress caresses my curves and the high heels on my feet make me look good. Unfortunately, I haven’t dressed for Sebastian. If I’d known he was going to be here, I would have worn more clothes. The first chance he gets, Sebastian will probably find something cutting to say about my appearance, sending a dagger of pain straight through me.
With a heavy heart, I realize I can’t stay hidden in the pantry all day, but maybe I can get away with a few more minutes.
Chapter 2
Sebastian
Why am I dragging my feet about attending Lily’s baby shower? I ask myself for the hundredth time, but I know the answer – Carla. One meeting at my brother’s wedding and I can’t forget about her. Every time I shut my eyes she’s there – smiling at me the way she has done over the past few months whenever I catch her at a weak moment. Other times, it’s more like a scowl.
I can’t blame her really. Every time we meet, I go out of my way to avoid her and when we’re brought together I hardly speak to her. I’m an idiot. I’m in my thirties and acting like an embarrassed, teenage boy with my first crush.
It really claws at my gut that she’s with my brother and regardless of whether or not she stays with Ramon, which isn’t likely if she reacts to me the way she does, I can’t date her. In my early twenties, we’d all made a pack, never to date a brothers’ ex. A pack we’d kept all these years. Fuck.
Jumping down from the fence, I turn to make my way back to my parents’ house, having detoured on arrival to avoid going in.
As I climbed out of Ruben’s truck, both he and Ramon had given me a strange look, but what the hell. We were suppose to meet Michael at his house after he’d gotten back from dropping Lily at the ranch, but my besotted brother has decided to do things differently and insisted on staying with Lily.
As I trudge up the steps to the porch my feet feel like lead. I don’t want to go inside, but know I have to. Just like I know that I’ll seek her out and speak to her, which always takes up a lot of my energy. I’m afraid that if I get to know her better, she’ll be even more under my skin than she already is. I’m tired of staying away from her. In fact, I’m damn right exhausted. From today on, I’m going to try and talk to her as an adult instead of a lovesick fool.
I trip on the top step with that thought. Hell no. No way in hell can I be in love with Carla. I don’t do love, not like my sap of a brother, no way in fucking hell.
After the baby shower, I’ll go and hang around Kenza, Ruben’s club, and get laid. That’s all I need, a release from all the tension, which has taken hold of me since I’ve met her. Fuck, I don’t want a nameless fuck. I want my brother’s woman. What kind of bastard does that make me?
And how sick am I? Five months, the exact amount of time since I’d last had sex. Oh, I’ve tried, but every tart that’s thrown herself at me just wasn’t good enough. I always ended up at home, my fist pumping around my shaft as Carla plays dirty games in my head. Sweat beads on the back of my neck just thinking about it. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve beaten off to the image of Carla – each time leaving me more frustrated than the last.
I can’t figure out what’s going on between Carla and my brother. She lives with Ramon, which doesn’t sit well with me considering my obsession over her, but they never act like a couple in love, not like Michael and Lily.
As I reach the door, I run my hands over my face, a physical reminder that I’m allowing a mask to slip back over my features. As my hands run through my already messy hair, I sigh with a heavy heart and brace myself. I’m ready to face Carla. Just as I’m about to push my way inside, the screen door flies open and narrowly misses smacking me in the face.
“What the hell?” I curse, but I’m not sure if I’m cursing at myself for my distraction or at Ramon for running through the door.
“Sorry,” Ramon grins while apologizing, not looking sorry at all.