- 12 -
Without Words
When the salt and holy water didn't work, Mary decided to look into the possibility that whatever was possessing Carter was extraterrestrial. She did some web research, but she didn't find much. The "real" scientific community hadn't found any life beyond earth yet, and the speculative crowd had a bazillion and one different theories. She did find a couple places that said getting rid of an alien possessing a human host would require either drinking cyanide or getting blasted with gamma radiation. Based on Mary's lack of funds, as well as government restrictions, those didn't seem like feasible options.
But what Emma had told her stayed in the back of her mind. Mary wasn't sure about the whole loving thing like Jesus did, but she could at least start being nicer to Carter. And that meant she was going to have to get him to start talking to her again.
The next couple days, Carter was not in school. Mary started to wonder if he was all right, but he showed up again on Thursday like everything was normal.
The last bell of the day rang. As usual, Carter left Physics without glancing Mary's way. She ran to catch him in the hall.
"Carter! Wait up!"
He stopped and turned to her. "Hello, Mary."
"Hey," she said, keenly aware of people starting to stare at them. "Can we talk? Um, somewhere else? Like the Art room?"
"Sure," he said. "After you."
Mr. Edwards had already left for the day, so the room was empty.
"What would you like to talk about?" he asked.
Mary groped for words. She settled with, "Um, how are you?"
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course. Why?"
She started picking at that stray thread on her bag. "Well, you've been avoiding me for a while. And I wanted to know if something was wrong. If I said or did something that bothered you."
He was quiet for a moment before speaking again. "Do you remember what you said to me the last time we were in this room?"
She nodded. "I had asked you why you saved me. Look, I have trouble talking. But I didn't mean to offend you or—"
"You didn't offend me," he corrected. "You surprised me."
"How so?" she asked.
He was quiet again for a moment. "I was first going to answer that it was the right thing to do. And that's true. But I realized that wasn't what I really wanted to say." He paused.
"So what did you want to say?" she asked.
"I don't know. At least, I don't know how to communicate it verbally." He paused again. "Words are effective most of the time. But sometimes, they can be very limiting."
She looked confused. "I don't get it."
"It's all right," he said.
"No, it's not," she said. "It's not all right because I want to get it. I want to understand. And I don't…" She trailed, again trying to find the right words.
"You don't what?" he asked.
The thread, after all that picking, finally came off her bag. "I don't want you to avoid me anymore. It bothers me."
"I thought my being around you bothered you," he said.
"It does," she said. "But not as much as you avoiding me."
He cocked his head to the side. "You're odd."
She shrugged. "I know."
He stared at her. Then, he smiled. "All right. I won't avoid you anymore."
Oddly enough, she felt like some kind of a weight or something had come off her shoulders. "Okay, then," she said. "Um, busy afternoon for you?"
He shook his head, which for the first time looked normal. "You?"
"Just going to see my grandmother. I'm taking her to an art show and then to dinner." She got an idea. "Hey, you wanna come with us?"
"Would that be all right?" he asked. "I wouldn't want to intrude."
"You won't be," she said. "An artist I know is going to be there. He gave me three tickets, but my mom's working tonight. You should come. It'll be fun."
Carter smiled. "Thank you for inviting me. I accept."
They boarded the bus for Agape. When they arrived, Ba was waiting in the lobby with one of the nurses.
"Hi Con. And hello, Carter," she said cheerfully.
"Chào Bà," he said.
"Hi Ba." Mary kissed her on the cheek. "Is it all right if Carter goes with us?"
Her grandmother's eyes lit up. "Oh yes. You're most welcome."
Mary took Ba's arm and said to the nurse, "Thank you for getting her ready."
"You're welcome, honey. And I can take your back packs to her room to keep there."
Mary removed her wallet and handed over her bag. Carter did the same.
"Remember, eight o'clock," the nurse said.
"We'll have her back in time," Mary promised.
Outside, it was sunny, so Ba put on her hat while Mary put on her sunglasses. Carter didn't seem to mind the light. He didn't even squint.
Since Mary didn't know exactly where the art show was, they took a cab and gave the driver the address. He wove in and out of the streets, squeezing some of the yellow lights and overall making Mary nervous. She hadn't taken driving lessons yet specifically because driving in the city scared the cheese out of her.
Finally, the cab dropped them off in front of the art gallery. Mary paid the driver, and they went inside and gave the host their tickets. It was like a party. There was a DJ playing music and a bar serving cocktails and hors d'oeuvres. People in fashionable clothes walked about with drink glasses in their hands, chatting as they admired the various art offerings.
"Mary!" Ben came to greet her and Ba, and Mary introduced Carter. "Pleased to meet you," he said as he extended his hand.
Carter looked at Ben's hand curiously.
There was an awkward moment of silence. Then Ba chuckled, "It's all right to shake his hand, Carter. Ben doesn't bite."
Carter and Ben laughed, and they shook hands.
"Wow, running pretty hot there," Ben said. "Do you have a fever? Are you feeling okay?"
"I don't think I have a fever," Carter said. "And I am well, thank you."
"Where is it?" Mary asked eagerly. "Where's your phoenix?"
"Right over here," Ben said as he led the way.
The show featured several art pieces that evening, but Ben's phoenix had the best display space possible. It was dead in the center of the gallery, surrounded by a small crowd taking pictures of it with their smartphones.
"That's amazing!" Ba gasped. "Oh Ben, you did such a marvelous work."
"Coming from you, that's a huge compliment, Mrs. Phan," Ben said. "Here, let me show you what it looks like when you walk around it."
As Ben showed Ba around, Mary noticed that Carter's eyes hardly blinked as he looked at the sculpture.
"What do you think?" Mary asked.
After a moment of silence, he said, "I…don't know."
"It's all right if it's not your thing," Mary said. "Art's really subjective."
Carter shook his head. "That's not what I mean. I'm trying to think of what to say. Ben made this with his hands."
"Well, and some power tools," Mary said.
"But this was just metal and glass once," he said. "Raw materials. No form. No purpose. But Ben saw something in his mind. And the chemicals in his brain arranged to tell his hands to craft these uninteresting materials. This is the result. We are looking at what he saw before he made the work. I am…speechless."
Mary stared at him. He may have been speechless, but he had an eloquent way of saying so.
Carter looked around. "It's that way with all of these works. They are all glimpses into the immaterial. The manifestations of information. It's too wonderful." He turned to her. "You should have your painting among these. The one of Saturn's rings."
"Are you kidding?" Mary smirked. "These guys are professionals."
"Does that matter?" he asked.
Mary looked around. "Maybe not."
"And there's no competition here," he added. "Everyone is celebrating the art together."
Mary crossed her arms and wondered over to a painting hanging on the wall. It was an abstract piece showing a woman looking at the sky.
Carter followed her. "I apologize. I have offended you."
"No," she said. "You didn't. It's just as you said. Art shows what's inside. And that's scary. Showing my paintings would be like…like cutting my arm open in front of a crowd and showing them what color I bleed."
Carter didn't say anything.
Mary sighed. "I don't want people seeing the inside of me."
They both looked at the painting, not speaking. At last, he asked, "Why do you paint at all?"
Ironically, Mary felt like this conversation was exposing a little too much. "Because I wouldn't know what else to do."
He said nothing. Then, he smiled and nodded. "I understand now."
Carter moved on to look at other works, and Mary went in the opposite direction. As she admired a sculpture made of several glass-blown pieces, Ben came and handed her a soft drink. "Enjoying yourself?"
She nodded as she took a sip. "It's awesome. And Ba looks like she's having a good time."
"I'm glad," he said. "Your friend seems to be enjoying himself, too."
Mary looked around and saw Carter staring at a canvas featuring a nude woman. She laughed. "He's not my friend. Just a guy who goes to my school."
"Really?" he chuckled. "You brought him to an art show. With your grandmother. And he's just a guy?"
She smirked. "What're you sayin'?"
He shrugged. "Nothing. Some things are spoken louder without words. I was actually just talking with him before I came over here."
"About what?" Mary asked.
"He asked me about my art and how long I'd been doing sculptures and such," Ben said. "It was strange. I started telling him how I was just getting back into it, but then I told him about Anna. Sometimes, it's still hard for me to talk about what happened. But it was really easy to talk to him."
Mary remembered the time Ben told her about his wife and the bank robbery. She and Ba were in the store buying art supplies, but he was looking really depressed. Ba asked him what was wrong. It was the fifth anniversary of his wife's death that day. And just needing someone to talk to, he spilled his guts to Mary and Ba. Mary remembered Ba hugging him and giving him tissue like he was her own son.
Mary looked back at Carter, now admiring a wooden mask. She remembered how George told stories when Carter visited Agape the first time. She also remembered their "opt-out" conversation in the art room. She had told him things that she hadn't told anyone before. Like Ben said, it was easy to talk to him.
"He's going through some stuff right now," she said. "I thought getting him around something beautiful would be good for him."
"You didn't need to bring him here to get him around something beautiful," Ben said.
Mary looked at him.
He smiled. "But I am glad you came anyway."
She smiled, too.
"Excuse me, Ben?" one of the gallery employees came and asked. "Sorry to interrupt, but there's someone asking about your sculpture. I think she wants to buy it."
"It's not for sale," Ben said. "But I'll talk to her anyway. Excuse me, Mary."
"Sure," she said, and she moved on as well.
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