theresa
was confused. I had to clear the way for Antonio to get to Donna Maria, but she was here, right before me, with a baby. I couldn’t shoot her, even at close range, with a child in her arms.
The first shot came from below. I spun to look over the railing before the sound was done echoing. A man dropped.
“I’m just an old woman,” Donna Maria said, coming up next to me with the baby. “This breaks my heart.”
Another man came. And another. The only one I could identify was Antonio. The rest weren’t even men but shadows.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” she continued. “It was supposed to be a business.”
There was a dead pause below. A weighted moment when everyone froze.
I had a job. Donna Maria had made me forget it, and if she wanted to kill me for doing it, that was okay. I just had to clear the way for Antonio until he was safe. I could figure out what to do with the misplaced mob boss in a minute.
I held out the gun and took a shot at the last man who came out. It was dark, and the angle was impossible. I think I killed one of the animals, or a dandelion. But the last guy out looked up at us and took aim. I shot at him to draw fire, stepping back when he took aim. I popped off another one, with the clack clack of Antonio’s shots in the background, and Donna Maria buckled next to me.
Fuck.
The baby dropped headfirst, and some biological instinct made me reach for it, even with the gun still in my hand. I couldn’t fight evolution. I got close to Donna Maria as she fell to get my hands under the baby, feeling badly for forgetting to drop the gun, realizing how light the baby was, how smooth its face, how oddly peach.
It was a doll.
And I was close to her. Close enough for a blade to land inside me, releasing pain that shot outward as every cell in my body screamed. Close enough to see the pleasure on her face when she jerked the blade upward so hard my feet came off the floor.
I dropped the doll.
Donna Maria relieved me of my gun. “Thank you, troia.”
How long would it take to die from a stab wound? Long enough to see Antonio’s face below, his mouth a circle of terror as I bent over and blood fell from me.
I’m sorry.
I didn’t actually say that. I wanted to. I felt my failure deeply. Antonio put his hands out, and I think he cried out. I think something came from him, but I was suddenly deaf from the rushing in my ears.
Lorenzo turned away from Donna Maria and me and faced Antonio, pointing his gun at him for his territory and his crew. His kingship.
Antonio! Watch out!
I didn’t actually have the strength to say that either.
A flash of light and a pop came from Zo’s weapon. Antonio spun.
And fell.
And stayed fallen for a millisecond too long.
In the rising light, with his knees bent and his gun two feet from his hand, he stayed down, the ground under his head gelling with mud-pattered blood.
I screamed Antonio!
But nothing came out. The scream was sucked back into my gut in the form of pain.
The light in my life had been taken from me, and I wanted only one thing in the world. To die. And to kill. Because inside the pain and the furious rush in my head was a cold place that needed to be taken care of.
I was on all fours. Breathing hurt. Living hurt. My legs shook uncontrollably, and I coughed a stream of blood, heaving air and moisture back in.
I looked up. Donna Maria stood over me. She didn’t look old. She looked twenty. Forty tops. She looked like a woman untouched by her own mortality. I grabbed at her, my hand slipping down her corduroy pants. I was pathetic. But I grabbed for her again, and she stepped back.