“You really didn’t know, did you?”
“Had no clue.” I thought about what she said. “Mr. Emerson didn’t go after her, did he?”
Mrs. Collins tucked the blanket tighter around Echo. “Ashley went into labor after the phone call. The baby came early.”
Once again, second place. The story of Echo’s life. Echo had a habit of making me feel like a dick in comparison to her and today would be no exception. She left me so I could have a family, making her—alone. How could I ever have let her walk away?
“I’m proud of you, Noah.”
The past twenty-four hours had been one long nightmare. I lost my brothers. Echo came close to losing her mind. “Why is it when people are proud of me that my life sucks?”
“Because growing up means making tough choices, and doing the right thing doesn’t necessarily mean doing the thing that feels good.”
We sat in silence and listened to the sound of Echo’s light breathing and the steady beep of the heart monitor. My heart ached with the promises I silently made to her and longed to fulfill. She’d never be alone again.
“She had a moment before she fell asleep,” I said. “She said her mother drugged her with sleeping pills. Echo cried a lot during the hallucination or whatever you want to call it. Sounded like her mom was in a depression, decided to kill herself, and then Echo showed. Psycho mom changed the plan to include her.”
Mrs. Collins sighed and patted Echo’s hand. “Then she remembers.”
Echo
Mrs. Collins sent me an encouraging smile when the tiny pieces of tissue fell from my hands onto the blanket. “Sorry,” I said. I shifted in the hospital bed and sighed when more tiny pieces fell to the floor.
The hospital psychiatrist, a balding man in his late forties, laughed. “Tissues were made to be torn. Don’t worry.”
I felt like I had done nothing but cry since I woke up this morning. I cried when I opened my eyes to find Noah at my side. I cried when the doctors immediately came in and asked Noah to leave so they could examine me. I cried when I told the psychiatrist and Mrs. Collins what I remembered. I cried when they talked me through the events.
And here I was, hours later, still crying—a pathetic, constant trickle of tears.
I plucked another tissue from the box and tried to discreetly blow my nose. I remembered. Everything. Showing up and finding Mom in a deep depression. Deciding to stay to see if I could convince her to see her therapist. Drinking the tea and then feeling ill.
Going to the bathroom, finding the empty bottle of sleeping pills on the sink and calling my father only to end up in his voice mail. The sinking realization that my mother planned to kill herself and then decided to include me without my consent. Becoming woozy and falling into the stained glass. The time spent on the floor, begging my mother to get me help, and then … closing my eyes.
No wonder I hated sleep.
I blew my nose again. “So, can I go home?”
The psychiatrist leaned forward and patted my knee. “Yes. I recommend that you continue private therapy to deal with any residual feelings now that you’ve remembered the incident. I hear Mrs. Collins has kept a few private clients on. Maybe she’d be willing to help.”
Mrs. Collins all but wagged her tail and panted. “My door is always open.”
“I think I’d like that.” Who knew? The woman I’d assumed was dead-set on making my life a living hell had actually delivered me from it.
IN TYPICAL GLINDA THE Good Witch fashion, Lila brought me stuff from home. Once I had something to change into other than puke-covered clothes or a hospital gown, I enjoyed a long, hot shower. When I left the bathroom, I found Noah standing by the window.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey.” Noah flashed his wicked grin. “I hear they’re springing you.”
“Yeah.” I walked over to the small bag Lila had left and shoved my stuff back in, trying to think of anything else to do to keep myself busy.
He’d witnessed me lose it. But he also stayed with me the entire time. Maybe he felt bad for me. Yet he broke into Mrs. Collins’s office to get my file because, according to Beth, he wanted me back.
“Noah.” But he said my name at the exact same time. He hitched his thumbs in his pockets as I drummed my fingers against the nightstand.
“How are you?” he asked.
Was he asking because he was buying himself time before he dumped me? Who would want to stay with a crazy girl? I shrugged and watched my fingers continue to tap. “Fine.”
In an uncharacteristic movement, Noah scratched the back of his head. He looked almost … unsure. Crap, I’d freaked him out so badly he was terrified to be in the same room as me.
“You scared the shit out of me last night, so forgive me if I don’t want to hear fine as an answer.”
I rubbed my eyes, hoping it would keep the burning tears away. The warm water of the shower had finally calmed the tears, but the thought of Noah walking away brought them back. “What do you want to hear? That I’m exhausted? Terrified? Confused? That all I want to do is rest my head on your chest and sleep for hours, but that’s not going to happen because you’re leaving me?”
“Yes,” he said quickly, then just as quick said, “No. Everything but the last part.” He paused. “Echo, how could you think I would leave you? How can you doubt how I feel?”
“Because,” I said as I felt the familiar twisting in my stomach. “You saw me lose it. You saw me almost go insane.”