Proving Paul’s Promise

Friday

I sit with Reagan and Emily, and Kelly and her boyfriend are right in front of us. She introduces me, and I like him. I like him a lot. I don’t particularly like that she was f*cking both him and Paul at the same time, and I can’t help but wonder if he is aware of that little fact. Not my business, I guess. But he probably deserves better.

Jacob is being really good, and he sits on the edge of his chair when the recital starts. “I can’t see,” he complains.

Next thing I know, he’s crawling into my lap. He sits his skinny little body right on top of mine and leans back so that his head is resting on my shoulder, and he snuggles in. He still smells like the outdoors and purple shampoo, and I want to hold him like this forever. Tears fill my eyes, and I blink them back furiously. Henry reaches into his pocket and hands me his cotton handkerchief. I wave him off. I’m going to keep it together, I promise myself.

“Can you see now?” I ask Jacob. He nods, and his cheek brushes mine. I close my eyes and drink in the feeling.

I see one of Matt’s girls, the older one, and she dances with the second group. I point her out to Jacob and tell him who she is, and he claps for her when I do. God, she’s so adorable. She trips over her own feet a couple of times, and one time, she lands on her face in the middle of the floor.

I gasp and Jacob sits up. She looks like she’s about to cry. But Matt dashes out onto the stage, picks her up, dusts her bottom, and he starts to do the routine with the little girls, and Mellie jumps up and gets back into it quickly. He looks ridiculous, this great big tatted-up guy dancing with all the pink little girls. But he does it, just because she needs him to. He backs away as soon as she gets moving again and fades off the stage.

Sky claps and shakes her head. She loves every second of it, I’m sure.

Hayley and Joey, Matt’s oldest daughter, are in the same class, since they’re the same age, so they dance at the same time during the next dance. I can see Paul lingering by the curtain, and just the sight of him makes my heart thump in my chest. I’ve missed him. I’ve missed all this. I’ve missed having a family.

Their last dance is next, and while they’re still sort of clumsy, they have so much more form than the younger group that it’s kind of artsy to watch. I need to ask them next year if I can paint their backdrops, because they need something a little more creative.

Next year? Am I really planning for next year with Hayley and Paul? I suppose I am.

Jacob seems to be pretty content sitting in my lap, and I love having him this close to me. I never dared to dream that I could have a life this wonderful. I was homeless, pregnant, lost, and fearful. Now I have Henry, an honorary grandfather figure by my side, my son in my lap, my boyfriend and his daughter on the stage, and all of his brothers and their girlfriends and wives. My f*cking cup is running the f*ck over. And I wouldn’t change a thing.

When Hayley is done, I set Jacob to the side so I can give her a standing ovation. I put my fingers in my teeth and whistle, and I hear a whistle from beside me. I look down and see that Jacob is doing the exact same thing. He whistles loudly. Kelly covers her ears in front of us.

“Do it again,” I whisper with a grin. He does, and Kelly scowls. “That’s enough for now,” I say.

I sit back down, and he crawls back into my lap.

The teacher comes to the microphone and makes a quick announcement, thanking the girls. After some of the older, much more talented students have danced, she tells us there’s one more performance.

She grins. “We had to convince these guys to perform, but they were easy to win over.” She points to the curtain, and it opens slowly. “I give you the Reeds, performing to Taylor Swift’s ‘You Belong with Me.’”

The curtain opens, and Paul, Matt, Logan, Sam, and Pete are all standing in a line. They’re all dressed in jeans and sleeveless T-shirts, and you can see all their tattoos and they’re so f*cking handsome that I can’t even believe they’re mine. I see Hayley, Joey, and Mellie standing on the side of the stage, all waiting anxiously to watch their daddies and uncles.

Seth starts the music, and he’s underlaid some kind of hip-hop track beneath the beat, but you can still pick out the music. It’s a song about unrequited love and realizing that what you wanted was right there in front of you the whole time, but you were being too stupid to see it. It’s told from a girl’s point of view, so some of the words don’t exactly fit the boys, but it makes it all the funnier.

The Reeds have moves. Serious moves. I think everyone woman in the auditorium sits forward in her seat so she doesn’t miss seeing the shaking hips and flexing muscles. Paul even picks Matt up and spins him around one time, and Sam does the same to Pete. I can’t stop laughing. Even Logan dances, and I can imagine the kind of work it took for him to learn this routine when he can’t even hear the music the same way everyone else can. He can appreciate music, just in a different way.

As the song starts to close, Matt, Pete, Logan, and Paul all point out at the audience when the words, “You belong with me,” play. Matt points to Sky. Pete points to Reagan, and Logan points to Emily, who is holding the baby in her lap. And Paul points in my direction. Those four men jump off the stage and come toward us. They sing and dance all the way down the aisle.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Kelly get up to intercept Paul, but he doesn’t even notice her. He points past her, and sings out the last line, “You belong with me,” in my ear. He picks me up and spins me around, and I have never felt more happiness in my whole life.

The music stops, and everyone looks to the stage. Sam has sat down on the side of it, and he looks pretty dejected. He’s holding a sign above his head that says, Available.

After this, he won’t be available for long, because every woman there now has a crush on all the Reeds, and he’s the only one who isn’t taken.

I love that they can be so silly, and so loving, and so…them. They don’t hide it. They don’t make a game of it. They just love. They love hard.

“I love you so hard,” I say to Paul.

His eyes jerk to meet mine, and he almost looks surprised. “You do?” he asks.

I nod. “I do.”

“Will you come home tonight?” he asks quietly.

I nod.

“Good. That’s where you belong.”