Friday
Paul wakes me up the next morning before the sun comes up. He’s tucked in behind me, and my butt is cradled by his thighs. He cups my breast, squeezing my nipple between his thumb and forefinger very gently while he kisses the back of my neck and across my shoulder.
“You awake?” he asks softly, lifting his lips for only a moment, and then he puts them back on my skin, right back where I want them.
“I am now.” I cover his hand with mine and show him that he can apply more pressure. He’s so careful. I guess it’s because I told him my boobs are tender.
I can feel him behind me. He’s hot, hard, and ready, so I lift my leg a little, giving him some room, and he slides inside me in one warm, wet, completely full stroke. He grunts and says, “So good,” right beside my ear. It’s more moan and breath than talk, though. “I like waking up with you in my bed.”
I close my eyes and let him f*ck me slowly, feeling him move in and out, the base of his stomach bumping my ass every time he fills me.
“God, Friday, I can’t last for shit when I’m inside you.”
His hand slides down my belly, and his fingers press insistently against my *, and he rubs back and forth, his finger gently manipulating my piercing, putting just the right pressure on it.
He grabs on to my top leg and rolls me to my back without pulling out of me. He lifts my legs over his thighs and spreads me open wide. He rubs my p-ssy while he f*cks me. He pulls my hand to my breasts and says, “Play with them so I can watch.” He sits up on his elbow, and his gaze falls to my boobs. He licks his lips. He doesn’t stop his slow slide inside or his nimble fingers that are carrying me higher and higher.
He smirks at me when I look into his eyes and rub my thumbs across my nipple piercings. It doesn’t take much. That’s enough to send me over. I come, trembles overtaking my body as he pushes me through the orgasm, his fingers quick and sure as he strums my *. He wrings every last tremor from me, and then he lifts up, pushes my knee toward my chest and puts his weight on it, and he f*cks me harder. I cry out, but his lips cover mine, and he whispers, “Shh.”
I try to hold it back, but I can’t. So, he keeps my mouth busy with his tongue as he pumps in and out, his movements suddenly frantic and quick.
“I’m going to come inside you.”
I nod. I have kept my eyes closed because the sensation of him moving inside me is more than I can bear. But when I open my eyes and find his boring into mine, my breath leaves me and a warm wash of pleasure takes me over the top. It’s nothing like the *oral orgasm of moments before, but it’s pleasant and so f*cking hot. And only then, when I am spent and lax beneath him, does he finally come.
“I’m coming,” he warns. “Coming inside you.” His eyes close, and he grunts, his dick pulsing inside me almost painfully, but it’s a good bite. Definitely not a bad one.
He lets my leg drop, falls onto my chest, and kisses my shoulder, the weight of him so welcome that I never want him to move. But he pulls back. I grab for him, and he dodges my hands, saying, “I’ll be right back.” He kisses my cheek and moves away. I see him slide on a pair of boxers, and he dashes into the bathroom. He comes back a minute later with a warm, wet washcloth, and he cleans me up. “Sit up just a little,” he says. He pulls one of his T-shirts over my head and then slides my panties on me. It’s like he’s dressing a doll, but I’m totally worthless for at least the next few minutes. “I like you f*ck drunk,” he says with a grin.
“What the f*ck are you doing?” I ask, my voice groggy and thick.
“Hayley will be up in a minute.”
I toss the covers back. “I should go to my room.”
He pulls the covers back over me and climbs in with me. “No,” he says. “Stay.”
I am too well worked to protest. I can barely think, much less complain. I roll over, and he tosses his leg over my bottom and pulls me against him. His fingers tickle up and down my back as I fall back asleep. Quiet comfort overtakes me, and I welcome it.
I feel a tap, tap, tap on the side of my nose and open my eyes to find blue eyes just like Paul’s staring into mine. “Hayley,” I say. I wipe my eyes. The sun is just barely up.
Paul sits up on his elbow and looks over me. “Go back to sleep, Hayley,” he says.
“The sun is shining,” she says.
“No, it’s not,” he tells her. Then he reaches over me, grabs her, and pulls her over my body. She lands between us and snuggles into the spot. She closes her eyes and yawns. “Go back to sleep,” he tells her again.
She rolls onto her side, facing me, and she looks at me for a second, her gaze curious but not at all sad or mad or any of the things I had been worried about. Her little-girl breaths are close enough that they fall on my chin and make me feel all warm and melty inside.
Paul’s toes tangle with mine, and he pulls my foot to rest between his down at the bottom of the bed. He’s touching me. He wants to touch me. I extend my hand toward his head, and he adjusts my palm to rest beneath his cheek and closes his eyes. There’s a slight smile on his face as he falls back asleep.
And there’s one on mine, too. It’s an almost giddy feeling of peacefulness. I never imagined peace to come with quite so much bemusement. But it has. And I like it.
###
I wake up to find a foot shoved hard against my forehead. I open my eyes and see that Paul has one shoved into his stomach, but he’s sleeping through it. Hayley has turned herself around and is facing the end of the bed.
I move slowly, trying not to wake her as I adjust her foot, but the minute I move, her head jerks up, and she says, “The sun is shining.”
Paul chuckles. His voice is nasally from sleep, and he grunts when Hayley’s knee pokes into his groin. “Be still,” he warns. He looks at me. “Sleeping with Hayley is like sleeping with an octopus wearing sneakers that has really knobby knees. I should have warned you.”
Hayley sits up, and she’s absolutely adorable with her hair sticking out in all sorts of directions. She looks like she’s been tumbled in a dryer. Her cheeks are pink, and her eyes are bright and shiny. She is all things beautiful and innocent, all wrapped in one adorable little package. I can’t help but wonder if I was ever that naive, that trusting.
Probably not.
“Can we go get waffles?” Hayley asks.
Paul looks at me and arches a brow. “Waffles?”
“With strawberries and chocolate chips and whipped cream.” She licks her lips. “Then we can go to the park.”
Paul’s eyes cloud for a moment, and I can’t help but wonder what that’s about. But Hayley starts to wiggle her feet in excitement, so I grab one of them and tickle her toes. She laughs and falls back onto the bed squealing.
“Waffles?” Paul asks. He plumps his pillow under his head and stares at me.
I nod. “Waffles.”
“The park?” he asks. He doesn’t look me in the eye when he says that, and it’s odd. Maybe he’s just distracted by Hayley being in bed with us? I don’t know.
“Sure.” I toss the covers off and stretch.
“You got panties with flowers on them,” Hayleys says, as she eyes the hip of my undies. She looks up at her dad. “Can I have some panties with flowers on them?” She pulls her pajama pants down at the waist and shows me hers. “Mine just have stripes.” I pull my shirt down over my hips.
“What did I tell you about showing your panties to people?” Paul asks.
She rolls her eyes at him. “Friday’s a girl,” she says.
I bite back my snort because Paul isn’t laughing. I look at him over my shoulder, his eyes meet mine, and they go hot. And so do I. “I know she’s a girl.” His eyes roam up and down my back. “Most definitely a girl.”
“We need to get you some waffles,” Hayley says to Paul. “Because you look hungry.” She says it very matter-of-factly, and I can’t keep from laughing this time.
Paul shoots me a look of warning, and I throw my hands up. “What?” I cry. “I can’t help it.”
But now that I’m sitting up, nausea hits me. I flop back onto the bed.
“Go get Friday a can of ginger ale,” Paul says to Hayley. “Her tummy hurts.”
Hayley runs out of the room and comes back with a cold can as Paul said. She opens it up, takes a sip, and hands it to me. She grins and wipes her hand across the back of her mouth.
“What did I tell you about drinking out of people’s drinks?”
“It’s just Friday,” she says. She blinks those blue eyes at me. I’m just Friday. I’m just Paul’s girlfriend, which makes me something serious in her life. It’s kind of scary, knowing I’m something to her. But in a good way, for the first time ever.
“Is your tummy feeling better?” she asks.
“Not yet.”
She sits cross-legged in front of me. “Maybe you just need to go poop,” she says, looking at me very seriously.
Paul falls back on the bed, clutching his gut as he laughs. He laughs until he has tears rolling out of his eyes. He wipes them and goes to get me some crackers, laughing all the way down the hall.
Sam stops and pops his head into the room. I’m glad I’m wearing one of Paul’s really long T-shirts. Sam grins at me. “Maybe you should just give it a try,” he says, “just in case you need to poop.” I throw a pillow at his head. He ducks, and it flies over him. He mocks an affronted look. “You didn’t throw a pillow at Hayley.”
I grab her toe and tug it. “Because I like her.” She grins at me and looks smugly at Sam. He scrunches up his face like he’s upset.
“I like you, too,” Hayley says quietly when Sam steps out of the doorway.
I could get used to this family thing.
Paul comes back with a pack of crackers, opens them, and hands me one. I nibble the edge of it.
He leans down and kisses my cheek. “Just so you know,” he says softly, “I’ve never had a woman sleep in my bed when Hayley’s here before.”
My heart squeezes in my chest, and my belly flutters. I know this much about him.
“So no matter what, don’t break her heart, okay?” he asks softly. His blue eyes stare into mine. “You cuddled with her daddy and with her, so that makes you special. Keep that in mind, no matter what.”
There’s something almost ominous about his tone, but I have no idea what his reticence is about. I wish I did.
###
I sit down on a park bench so full of waffles that I will probably never move again. I might have to get Paul to carry me back to the apartment.
Hayley runs off to play, and Paul calls out to her, “Stay where I can see you!” She rolls her eyes at him, and he grunts. “I have a feeling I’m going to have to break her from that habit before she becomes a teenager.”
I laugh. “Good luck.”
He takes my hand and grips it tightly. He holds it so long that our palms get sweaty and stick together. I extricate mine and pull back. “Sometimes I feel like I can’t get close enough to you,” he says. He’s not looking at me. He’s looking toward where Hayley is climbing on the monkey bars.
I scratch my head. “I don’t think we can get much closer than we were last night.”
He shakes his head. “Sex is easy. It’s the rest of it that’s difficult.”
I look at his profile because he’s still not looking at me. I pretend to make light of his comment and scoff. “I wouldn’t say that I made sex easy.”
His gaze suddenly jerks to mine. “We didn’t have sex.”
I hold up one finger and grin. “I distinctly remember—”
But he cuts me off. “I remember it, too. I remember telling you that I loved you and you telling me you felt the same way. And we made mad, passionate love. Crazy good love like I have never had before. And then we did it again. And then we pulled my daughter into bed with us and that was the best f*cking part about the whole thing.” He turns to face me. “I want a family, Friday. Not just a f*ck. Tail is easy to come by. You, on the other hand…” He lets his voice trail off. “You’re one of a f*cking kind, and I want you to be mine so badly I can taste it. And I’ll still be tasting it next week, next year, and every day following that.”
“I’m with you,” I say hesitantly. I don’t know how much more of a commitment I can offer him. I’ve already offered more than I ever thought I would be able to offer anyone.
He leans over and hovers over my lips. “I love you so f*cking much,” he says. “Just remember that.” He stares into my eyes for a minute, and then he goes to Hayley and races her to the sliding board.
I watch them playing and am just about to get up when a woman drops down beside me. “Beautiful morning, isn’t it?” she asks. She sighs heavily, but it’s a nice noise. It’s not frustrated or confused. It’s just comfortable.
I look up at the blue sky. “Such a pretty day,” I say. I smile at her. She isn’t looking at me, so she doesn’t even see it.
She points toward Hayley. “Is that your little girl?”
I nod. Then I startle because she’s not. But she so is. “My boyfriend’s little girl.”
“She’s adorable.”
A grin tips the corners of my lips. I can’t take any credit for her, though. “Thanks.”
I see a little boy with brown hair run over and talk to Paul. “Is he yours?” I ask.
She nods. “Yes.”
“He’s adorable, too.” He is. He’s tall and slim. Then he looks up, and his eyes meet mine. I gasp. I know those eyes. I have seen them before. It was only once in real life, but I will never, ever forget them. My gaze jerks to the woman beside me.
“Please don’t be angry,” she says. “I talked your boyfriend into it.”
My heart is so tight in my f*cking throat that I can’t get out a sound, not even the sob that’s buried deep within me. I sit forward, balancing on the edge of the seat, because now that I’ve seen him, I can’t look away again. He grins, and I can see his dad’s quirky smile, the one he had when I met him, and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that this little boy is my son.
“Are you all right?” she asks quietly. She turns to face me on the bench. “Please don’t blame your boyfriend. I just wanted to meet you. Jacob doesn’t even know who you are, and he won’t, not unless you tell me you want that.”
I can hear her talking, but I can’t speak. I get up and walk very slowly over to where Jacob is standing with Hayley. I feel like there’s a magnetic tether between us, and I couldn’t stay away from him even if I wanted to. I want so badly to touch him. I want to feel the heartbeat in his skinny little wrist and watch his chest go in and out when he breathes. I want to take off his shoes and count his toes because I never got to do that. I really wanted to do that.
I stop beside him and squat down. “Hi,” I say quietly. I’m surprised that noise crept past the emotion in my throat because I still feel like it’s going to choke me.
“Hi,” he says quietly. He looks over at Jill, and she gives him a thumbs-up. She doesn’t get up, though. I see her wipe a tear from her cheek.
“Did you meet my friend, Hayley?” I ask.
He nods. Paul keeps trying to catch my eyes with his, but I won’t let him.
“I’m Friday,” I say. I’m your mother, and I love you more than anything, anywhere, anytime. The words rush to my lips, but I bite them back. “What’s your name?”
Jacob runs over to his mother and says something to her. She reaches into the big bag at her feet and takes out a box. She hands it to him, and he runs back over. He never did tell me his name, but that’s okay. I’d rather he have a little stranger danger. And I’m a stranger, after all.
Jacob sits down on the sidewalk and opens his box. He takes out a clunky piece of chalk and says, “Do you want to draw with me?”
I sit down beside him and say, “What color should I use?”
He gives me a blue piece of chalk. “This one.”
So I sit for hours and draw with my son in chalk on the sidewalk. We draw rainbows and dragons, and we even make some flowers for his mom. I look around and see that the sidewalk is completely full of our art. There’s not an available space to be had.
“You’re a really good drawer,” he says. He grins up at me, and I see the space where his missing tooth should be.
“So are you.” I reach out a tentative hand and touch the top of his head. I close my eyes and breathe, letting my hand riffle through the silky strands. I pull back way sooner than I want to because he’s looking at me funny.
I look over and see Paul sitting and talking quietly with Jill. He gets up and yells over to us. “We’re going to get some lunch! We’ll be right back!”
I give him a thumbs-up and get up to chase Hayley and Jacob over to the swings.
“Push me!” Hayley cries.
“Push me!” Jacob calls at the same time. He laughs, and I put my hand in the center of both their backs, standing between them, and give them both a shove.
It’s only a minute or two later when Paul and Jill come back carrying hot dogs and drinks. The kids race to the table. I jam my hands into my pockets and walk over a little more slowly. Paul and Jill sit side by side on one side of the picnic table, and Hayley and Jacob sit on the other.
“Sit beside me!” Hayley cries.
“No, me!” Jacob says. I put my legs over the bench and sit between them, and Paul hands me a hot dog. Jacob scoots so close to me that I can feel his thigh against mine. The heat of his little body seeps into the cold of mine and warms me everywhere. I close my eyes for a moment and just breathe, enjoying the feel of having my living, breathing child pressed into my side.
The kids inhale their hot dogs and are ready to go back and play. Paul gets up with them and follows, leaving me with Jill.
“You don’t look anything like I expected,” she says quietly.
“What did you expect?” I take a bite of my hot dog.
She grins. “Something less colorful.”
I put a hand in front of my mouth and talk around my food. “Color’s not a bad thing.”
She heaves in a sigh. “I expected some washed-up, downtrodden girl who regrets her life. I’m glad that’s not what I found.” She closes her eyes and waits a beat, and then they fly back open. “So glad that’s not what I found.”
“Sometimes, that’s still me.” I look over at Jacob, and he grins in our direction.
“Sometimes, it’s all of us.” She covers my hand with hers. “Can I tell you something no one else knows? Well, except for my husband.”
“Please do.”
“When I was twenty, I got pregnant.”
All the air in my body whooshes out of me, and I choke on my hot dog. I cough into my fist, trying to clear my airway.
Before I can speak, she holds up her hand to stop me. “I had to make a very difficult decision. And I had an abortion. I wasn’t in love with the father, and I didn’t think I could do it on my own.”
“Wow.” I don’t know what else to say.
“What you did took so much strength.” Her eyes fill up with tears, but she blinks them back, waving a hand in her face.
“So did what you did.” I mean that with all my heart.
“We do what we have to do to survive.”
I set my hot dog to the side because I couldn’t swallow it even if I wanted to.
“I thought for a long time that not being able to get pregnant was my punishment for having the abortion.”
I can understand how she might feel that way. But it wasn’t the case. The universe doesn’t work that way.
“Jacob is the best thing that ever could have happened to us. We love him so much.”
I still can’t get over how beautiful he is. He’s standing looking up at Paul with his hands on his hips, and Paul is glaring playfully down at him. I can’t help but grin, too.
“Don’t be too mad at him, okay?” she says. “He loves you so much.”
I nod. I know he does. And I haven’t had enough time to process what he did today.
“I’m sorry we ambushed you.” She looks sincere. But I can tell she’s happy about the way it turned out. I kind of am, too.
“Did he call you?” I ask.
She nods. “Last night, actually.”
After I showed him my box of secrets, he used the information and found her. My gut clenches because I can’t help but feel betrayed.
“Can we see you again another day?”
I nod. Now that I’ve been this close to Jacob, I don’t think I could stay away. It was almost easier not knowing where he was or what he was doing or what he looked like or what he smelled like or the way he smiled.
“He looks like you,” she says.
“He looks like his dad, too.”
“Do you have any pictures of him? I’d love for Jacob to see them when he’s ready.”
I look at her. “He knows that someone else gave birth to him?”
She lays a hand on her chest. “He knows he grew in my heart while he grew in someone else’s belly.”
I like that. I like it a lot.
“I want you to have whatever place you want to have in his life. You can just be the really sweet lady we met in the park one day, or you can be the woman who gave birth to him. It’s completely up to you.”
I nod. I am suddenly choked with emotion. A hot tear rolls down my face, and I brush it back. “I’m pregnant,” I say.
Her eyebrows arch. “Congratulations?” she asks. She looks from Paul to me and back.
“It’s not his. I volunteered to be a surrogate for some friends of mine.”
Her gaze gets soft.
“So, it might be best to wait and decide what to tell him later. I don’t want him to think I just give up all my babies.” I lay a hand on my stomach.
“When will you be done torturing yourself?” she asks. She lays her chin on her upturned palm and gazes at me. “We do the best we can with what we have.”
I nod and get to my feet. I walk around the table, and she stands up in front of me. I open my arms, and she hugs me tightly, and then whispers in my ear. “Thank you.”
I don’t know if she’s thanking me for coming today, or if she’s thanking me for giving her my son, or if she’s thanking me for something else I don’t understand. “You’re welcome,” I grunt out.
“Jacob!” she calls over my shoulder. “It’s time to go.”
Jacob runs over, and he stops at my feet. He looks up at me and smiles. He holds up a purple piece of chalk. “Do you want to keep the purple?” he asks. “It’s my favorite color.”
I take it from him and squat down. “Thank you so much,” I say. I desperately want to hug him. But I am afraid to.
Suddenly, Jacob launches himself at me and wraps his arms around my neck. I fall back gently onto my butt, and we roll to the ground. I can’t keep from laughing as he hugs me. I wrap my arms around him and bend my head so I can smell his hair. He has that little-boy smell that reminds me of the outdoors and purple shampoo.
Finally, he squeaks and starts to squirm, and I realize I’ve held him too long so I let him go. It wasn’t nearly long enough, though. Not even close. He steps back and wraps his arms around Jill’s legs. “Can Friday come over and play with me one day?” he asks.
Jill nods.
“Call me,” I say.
They walk off together hand in hand, and I watch them until they disappear from sight. Paul comes toward me from the other direction with Hayley’s hand in his. “How angry are you?” he asks. He cocks his head and looks at me like an inquisitive puppy.
“I’m not angry.”
I touch the top of Hayley’s head and tell her, “I’ll see you later, Hayles, okay? I have some errands I have to run.”
She nods, and I walk away.
“Friday,” Paul calls. But I don’t turn back. I can barely see for the tears blurring my eyes, but I’ll be f*cked sideways before I’ll let anyone see them fall.