chapter 10
Izzy
Lucky for me it was just Melanie and that type of inquisition I could handle. She was sitting at the bar reading the paper looking bored. Her eyes lit up when she saw me walk in and clapped her hands like a toddler. “Yippee!! You’re back! Where’d you go? What’d you do? And can I tell you how hot he looked?” I laughed and threw my purse on the counter. I grabbed a mug, needing some coffee after coming down from all the Mimosas I drank.
“Well, where do I begin?” I sighed as I reached in the fridge for the cream. “It was… nice.” I started and continued to explain the banquet, the brunch, Mark, the possessive arm thing and Steve.
“Wow!” Mel exclaimed looking shocked and concerned. “So you think this Steve guy will go and tell HIM where you are?”
I shook my head. “No, he didn’t seem like he would.” Then I chuckled and said, “He actually knows Z and Flynn from high school!”
“Wow.” She laughed. “Now, that’s a small world!” She stopped giggling, turned serious and asked, “So, you’re going to see Mark again on Tuesday?”
I nodded my head, but frowned. “Yes, I…this sounds weird. But, in the car ride home, I felt like Mark was just like HIM and was going to punish me later.” Then I felt stupid for telling her that. She wouldn’t understand, but she surprised me by not looking too shocked and seemed more sympathetic.
“Well, from what I gathered from you, after two years of that, you’re going to keep getting those feelings for a while.” She cocked her head and scrunched her nose. “So, now will you tell me more about these punishments and why you actually left?”
I was just about to pour my heart out when the front door opened and in walked the guys laughing, all sweaty and looking…sexy. Clark had the basketball and was still dribbling it. They all saw me and their laughter ceased immediately. Flynn walked over to the fridge and grabbed waters for everyone and began tossing them to Z and Clark.
Everyone seemed to be watching me and there was a strange tension in the air. “Umm, so what’s the plan for today?” I asked, hoping to break the silence.
Z leaned against the counter near the stove and grinned, “We’re watching football, drinking beer and playing some pool. Mel told me you’re really good at pool, although I saw a little bit of that last night.”
He seemed to be trying to break whatever tension there was and put forth an effort to not make my obvious date with Mark an issue. I also couldn’t help but wonder if he knew just how good I was at pool and if he knew how I learned to play so well.
“Well, I guess some chili making is in order! I’ll run to the store in a bit and get some stuff.” I grinned at him and said it probably a bit too flirtatious. I couldn’t help it. He looked so cute all sweaty and he was giving me that adorable smirk and his eyes were all lit up excited. Our eyes lingered upon each other making my pulse race. I bit my lip trying to stop the giggle that was threatening to come out. I couldn’t help it. Being around him just put me in a giddy mood.
Clark shouted out “YES! I was hoping you’d cook again!” I started to laugh unsure if chili was considered a great representation of my cooking abilities. I glanced back at Z who was still grinning at me.
Breaking myself from his adorable gaze, I stood up, placed my coffee mug in the sink and turned to Melanie. “Mind coming with me to the store? I need to get the stuff for chili and we probably need more beer.” I also knew we needed to escape and have some girl time.
“Absolutely!” Melanie jumped off her stool.
“Great, let me run up and change really quick.” As I ran up to change I overheard Melanie whisper sternly to the guys something I couldn’t quite make out. Flynn shot out, “Whatever Mel!” I continued to hear loud whispering that seemed like everyone was arguing. I hurried and came back down. Everyone became quiet again. It seems to be a thing whenever I walk into a room with these guys lately.
Melanie and I left the townhouse and started walking to the store. “So, what was said while I was out with Mark?”
“The guys told me the full story since we didn’t really get into it last night. They told me about you flirting with Mark and that guy and how Z became jealous. Flynn said he could see fire coming out of Z’s nostrils and he looked like he was going to beat the shit out of Mark and his buddy. So, Flynn thought he’d help out Z, seeing that Z seemed really into you. Then Flynn told me how you guys disappeared into the back and how Mark called him out and that’s how the fight started. So besides making out, what did Z say to you in the office?”
I smirked and rolled my eyes. “Umm…I asked him why he did that and that’s when he grabbed me and started kissing me.” My heart was beating fast just thinking about his kiss again and I know I was smiling from ear to ear. “Then Sandy came and told us about the fight and he ran out to break it up.”
She nudged me, “So, what’s really going on with you and Z? Or even you and Mark for that matter!”
“I don’t know. I feel like Z was just jealous and wants to be with someone because of Sheila. I feel like he just wants me as a rebound, if anything at all.”
Melanie nodded. “What about with Mark? Can I tell you how hot you looked today heading out? Z about fell over when he first saw you, then it looked like he was going to beat the shit out of someone when you headed out the door. You looked HOT!”
“I don’t know about Mark. He was so possessive it gave me flashbacks of HIM.”
“So, how was it when you and Mark kissed? And…can I just say, his car is HOT…” she exclaimed laughing.
I grimaced. “It was good. But just…nothing like the way Z kissed me.”
“Wow. Shit! A lot happened in just two days! What are you going to do?”
“Umm, I’m not sure. I’m reluctant to be with Z. I mean he might just want me to get over Sheila, right?” I was trying to convince myself, but not really believing it. I really wanted so much more with Z. I just knew there was an attraction there, but wasn’t sure about it on his end and that really scared me.
“Nah, I don’t think so. He’s such a nice guy and I’m sure he really is interested in you.” She stopped and faced me grabbing my arms loosely. “Look, I’m your friend and just want to be honest. Z is really a great guy. I mean really a great guy. But if you’re not ready to get into something with him, don’t lead him on or anything alright? I mean you’re just getting out of a messed up relationship – or whatever that was and really, like you said, he is too. Not to mention how he was just hurt by Sheila.” She took a deep breath. “I just don’t want either of you hurt. He’s so sweet and caring. And so are you,” she quickly added. “But, you both just got out of relationships. Maybe you want to take it slow, if you do choose Z?” I nodded my head thinking she’s just standing up for Z more so than me. “Yeah, okay.” I agreed.
We quietly walked a couple of blocks and finally arrived at the market. I asked her as we shopped what really went on with her date, since I knew she was exaggerating last night to make Flynn jealous. “Ugh. I must have had beer goggles on or something. I mean he was hot and all, but he was dumb as rocks. It was like pulling teeth to make conversation.” She moaned, “Ughhhh and then the kiss at the end. It was horrible.” She whined, “Like kissing a wet fish!” She laughed and shook her head.
“Aww, I’m so sorry! Flynn was so jealous. I think that’s really why he got into the fight with Mark; he was probably just blowing off steam about you going out on a date!”
“You didn’t tell him it was horrible, did you?” she exclaimed, extremely worried as she continued to push the cart down the aisle.
I shook my head. “No! I promised I wouldn’t!”
“Okay, good.” She exhaled and smiled looking relieved.
We continued our shopping, grabbing items that we needed.
“So what else was said this morning after I left?” I grabbed two cans of navy beans off the shelf and put them into the cart.
I glanced back and noticed Melanie’s eyes grew wide and she glanced away nervously. “Ohh well… Clark sort of mentioned to everyone our discussion at Spike’s... you know, about the punishments?”
I was mortified! “No! Oh God!” I could only begin to wonder what Z was thinking about me. Was that why he was smiling so big and had been so nice to me? Was he into that stuff?
“They all looked to me asking what a punishment was and Clark said that you ran off after he asked if it was whips and shit.” Melanie looked so sorry and I felt sick.
“So?” She looked at me, waiting.
“What?” I looked at her not sure what she was asking.
“Is that what he did to you? I mean you told me BDSM stuff. Was that it? We didn’t get to finish our conversation when the boys barged in earlier.” She looked at me anxiously, awaiting my answer.
I glanced away nervously. “Umm. Yes.” I paused, took a deep breath and decided to just blurt it out, although I kept my voice as low as possible. “A ‘bad’ punishment is what I called them. He would, yes, use whips, paddles and stuff.” The shock on her face made me feel horrible.
“What is ‘stuff’?” She asked curiously.
“Uh. Really? Do we have to do this now? In the middle of the supermarket?” I rolled my eyes looking around nervously.
“YES! Yes we do, dammit! You haven’t said anything to me yet except when you were moaning over a beer!” She was trying not to shout, but I knew it would get there soon. She was always determined to get what she wanted and shouting wouldn’t be beneath her.
Shit. I took a deep breath and lowered my voice to barely a whisper. “Yes, he would chain me up. Naked. And paddle, spank and/or whip me depending on his mood.” I looked at her. She wanted to know it all. I was going to tell her. “He also wouldn’t let me come if it was a bad punishment.” I paused again, “He would bring me all the way there and then not let me…climax.” Her face was now pretty much white as a ghost. “A good punishment meant he would let me come.” I paused, forcing a smile. “Any questions?”
“Holy….whaa…why…why did you let him do that?” She was still in shock.
Because I was a virgin when I met HIM. But Melanie never knew that. I kept that from her our entire friendship. “Because he started it all slowly. And I have to admit,” I giggled, “the good punishments…were REALLY good.” I said a bit shyly, but noticed she was still staring at me like I was crazy. I looked away, “And because I didn’t have any bad punishments until we were farther along. By then, I was addicted to being allowed to come and, well, it went on from there.” I swallowed feeling like I needed to convince her that it wasn’t all too bad. “Umm, the good ones were actually really good. I mean, it could get pretty intense and mind-blowing.” I meekly smiled trying to convince her that being with HIM was actually pretty good, in the beginning. I was remembering how good they felt and it seemed like I needed to explain.
“What made you leave? Was it just getting that bad?” She looked disgusted and I suddenly felt ashamed. I was so used to HIS world that it didn’t seem...different until I explained it to her.
“Yes, it was that and…” I looked away not sure how much to tell her about that last night. “I told my personal trainer – Mark,” I spit his name out, “that I felt like HE was getting more upset with me and that I was in love with HIM and I was trying to figure out if HE would ever love me. Mark, at the time, was really nice during our workouts. He would talk to me nicely, as if he really cared. Mark was actually going back and telling HIM what I was saying. HE decided to make sure I knew HE wasn’t in love with me.” I decided that was enough for right now. Shit, that was more than enough for anyone to be told, especially in the middle of a supermarket. I admit my timing was not good.
We turned an aisle and I put two cases of beer in the cart. Melanie was trying to shake off the shock of what I just told her and seemed to try to snap out of her haze. She looked down and asked, “Holy shit! Are we having a party or something?”
I laughed and said “No. Now I need to be the one to get drunk. They know way too much about my messed up relationship with my ex and I just told you way more than any sane person should know!”
She shook her head in agreement and grabbed another case. We finished up our shopping in silence and walked home, again in silence. I was glad we brought her old lady looking grocery cart since we bought so much beer. Walking home, carrying those would have been a pain!
The guys were watching the game when we got back, so I started making the chili and popped a beer open. Melanie kept me company at the kitchen island still sort of in shock, but she tried to make idle conversation. My phone chimed a text. I knew it had to be Mark, since Melanie was the only other person who had my number.
Mark: Hey gorgeous! I giggled and Melanie looked at me quizzically. She mouthed “Mark?” I nodded.
Me: Hey! I replied.
Mark: What ya up to?
Me: Cookin’ chili
Mark: Mmm, sounds good. Wish I were there with you. Hmm, was that a hint? Too bad he couldn’t come over. But cannot imagine that cluster mess! I could see it now, I open the door and all three guys start beating Mark up. Not a good idea. I giggled at the thought.
Me: Probably wouldn’t be the best idea, but I wish I could invite you.
Mark: Why is that?
Me: Did I mention I live with Flynn and Clark? A few minutes passed as I stirred the chili. Melanie came over to read the exchange. She giggled and playfully hit my back.
Mark: Nope, you didn’t. But you’re right, not a good idea I come over. Maybe after our run on Tuesday, we could grab a bite to eat? Maybe have a more intimate type of date?
Mel nudged me, still laughing. Z looked back at us from the couch, but didn’t notice my phone in my hand since I held it down pretending to chat with Melanie.
Me: Sounds good. I’d like that.
Mark: Me too. Enjoy your chili! X Mel giggled again seeing the kiss. I shh’d her while laughing. We were acting like school girls.
Me: Thank you. Can’t wait for Tuesday. X
Z got up and came into the kitchen for a beer. I quickly put my phone in my pocket.
He slipped his arm around my waist and whispered in my ear. “Smells good.” I thought I would melt.
Blushing, I took a deep breath and said “thanks,” while taking a drink from my beer. I looked over at Melanie and she was grinning ear to ear. I made a face at her. How was it that Z was making me blush so quickly? Mark’s text exchange was fun, but having Z right here just sent excitement through me.
“So, do you like football?” Z asked with his arm still around me.
I chuckled, “Uh, no. Actually, I prefer rugby.” Melanie choked on her swig of beer as I said that, knowing the real reason.
Z looked at her questioningly. “Why is that so funny?”
“Ask Iz why she likes rugby better than football.” She teased. I playfully rolled my eyes at her, grinning.
Clark and Flynn turned around to watch me as I responded. My eyes got wide as I shot Melanie an ‘I’m going to kill you look’ and I started laughing.
Z asked “What? Why do you like rugby better?” He hip checked me in a flirtatious manner as he tilted his head, curious as to what my response might be.
I rolled my eyes and stated, “Because the game is faster paced.”
Melanie, eyes wide, shouted out while laughing, “That’s not the reason why! Tell them the truth!”
I turned around to stir the chili wanting to just end this conversation. Z put his arm back around my waist and turned me around. “Come on, tell us.” He urged slyly, keeping his arm around me and bumped his hip against mine again. He also licked his lips. God, he’s so sexy. I couldn’t contain a giggle if I tried.
I rolled my eyes again and blurted out the reason. “Because the guys don’t wear any gear and you can see their muscular bodies all hot and sweaty.” There. I said it. I took another long drink from my beer. My face was all red and embarrassed as the guys busted out laughing.
“Figures!” Z shouted, while shaking his head.
Clark called out, “if guys said that about a women’s sport, we’d be a*sholes!”
“Oh come on…” both Melanie and I shouted at him.
“No, it’s true! I agree with Clark,” Flynn shouted out.
This started a full on guys vs. girls yelling match and we went back and forth arguing our points and laughing.
Z smirked at me and kissed my cheek. “Hot and sweaty, huh,” He whispered in my ear softly. Between his kiss and whispering in my ear, I had to catch my breath. I took another drink from my beer, hoping to calm my heart from beating so fast. His eyes were bright with laughter. I just shook my head, laughing and still feeling his kiss on my cheek.
What was he trying to do? He was being so sweet and cute. It was confusing my points on why I was a rebound to him. Was he trying to make up for being a jerk last night? Or was he trying harder so I’d be his rebound?
I set up the chili bar and then told everyone it was ready. Z sat next to me while eating his chili at the kitchen island. I was on my third beer by then and feeling a really nice buzz and still replaying all the things Z had said and done to me this afternoon. Goosebumps shot through me to the point that Z noticed. “Cold?” He asked smirking. All I could do was smile and nod. I was pretty sure he didn’t believe me. I bit my lip trying to contain the shiver that went through me. He just…takes my breath away.
Everyone was complimenting my chili as they ate and it felt really good that they liked it so much. We were chatting about the game and laughing about our “discussion” of guys vs. girls.
After more beers, we decided to play pool. We gathered around the pool table and started our game. Z, just like before at the kitchen island, made sure he was standing next to me while we waited turns.
I let the guys play first. I figured I’d let them feel good about themselves for a little while. We all teased Clark about his prowling and, of course, he came back with a couple of one night stands Flynn and Z had with some psycho girls. Z teased him about Mary and how he needs a new accountant now because of him.
Melanie started a discussion with Clark and Flynn. I turned to Z and asked him what Z was short for. The sexiest expression came over his face and a cute spark in his eyes. “Guess…”
Okay, I’ll bite. I was getting pretty drunk from all my beers and flirting with Z was really appealing after all the little things he had done during the afternoon. “Zach.” I guessed, while giggling that he wanted to play this guessing game.
“Nope. Guess again,” he said nudging me a little more flirty and smiling broadly. I was staring at his lips now and my belly clenched and not because of the beer. He was so cute. In my drunken haze I was wondering how many names begin with the letter Z. I swallowed hard as I gave my best guess. “Umm, Zachary.”
“You already answered Zach; Zachary is just another form of that.” He gave me another nudge. “Come on, you can do better than that!” He teased.
His lips were wet from drinking his beer. I really wanted to kiss his lips. He was so much taller than me, so if I were to try, I’d really have to stand on my tiptoes. Actually, he would have to bend down a bit and…
“Hey, your turn blondie; it’s your game.” Clark shot a peanut at me, laughing. I snapped out of my mini fantasy and grabbed a cue stick. I broke and kept going. One right after the other I sunk each ball into its pocket after calling each shot ahead. Each time I sank one, the guys would start to cheer and say “Holy shit!” Clark said he had the biggest boner at one point. I just shook my head at him and returned to playing. After sinking the last one making an 8 Ball Run, I turned and smirked, “Who am I playin’ next?” The room was silent.
Flynn spoke up, still in shock. “Wow. How’d you learn how to play so well?”
I shrugged and blurted out, “I’ve been playing since I was five at pool halls while my mom was trying to pick up guys.”
“What?” Clark exclaimed. “How’d you get into pool halls that young?” Somehow he totally missed the part about my mom being a whore.
Z and Flynn were eyeing me curiously and I realized I needed to stop myself before they turned to pity eyes. I cursed myself for even opening the door to that conversation. “I snuck in.” I grabbed my beer and drank the rest of it down and tried to smile. Everyone was still quiet.
Melanie knew the truth so she cleared her throat and jumped off her bar stool. “I’ve got the next game. Who wants to play?” I smiled at her to thank her for changing the subject. She winked at me as I left to head into the kitchen.
“Who wants another beer?” I called out. Z came walking in behind me.
“So, umm, is that really true?” He asked slowly.
“Sort of. Actually, my story gets much better. But you don’t need to hear all that.” I dismissed it with a wave of my hand and then grabbed another beer, taking a swig. I think I was even slurring at that point. Pity was filling his eyes and I hated that more than anything. Cursing myself for saying that and possibly piquing his interest to find out more, I wanted to change the subject, but couldn’t think of anything else to say.
He grabbed me by my waist and bent down so I would look him in his eyes. “No, really, I do want to know.” He was serious. I felt my face flush and my heartbeat picked up. “I really want to know more about you. You’ve got some crazy shit going on and I told you I’ve got a shoulder.”
“Yeah…” I stared into his eyes and then down to his shoulders. “You’ve really got great shoulders,” I blurted out, eyeing his chest and shoulders and then back up to his eyes. He smiled knowing I was thinking of other things. I was glad his eyes changed from the pity look that was there before. He looked like he was going to bend down his head to kiss me. Oh please kiss me, I was screaming in my head as I licked my lips.
Just then Clark walked in, “Hey Iz, it’s your turn again and I thought you were bringing beers for everyone.” Z’s eyes closed and I could see his jaw muscles flex. We both took a deep breath.
“Yeah, I’m, umm, I’m coming.” I stammered.
“No, but you look like you were going to try to!” Clark snickered. A*shole. I turned, grabbed a couple beers and walked back to the pool table. I overheard Z saying something to Clark and then heard a punch. “Owww!” Clark yelled out. I just smiled to myself, imagining what that exchange was.
Flynn and Melanie looked really cozy when I returned to the room. He was sitting on a bar stool and she was in between his legs, leaning in saying something. I felt really bad for walking in at that time. Flynn saw me and cleared his throat and Melanie backed up. Z and Clark came back in with their beers and we all started playing again.
After a few more games of pool we were all joking around and still drinking. By then I was more than buzzed, borderline drunk, and my pool playing was going down a little. Clark said “Wow, Iz, you play pool like a pro, you’re an awesome bartender and you cook…” Clark continued, “Is there anything you don’t do?”
I smiled real sexy, lined up a shot, glanced up at him and slowly said, “Girls... I don’t do girls,” and took my shot. Everyone busted out laughing and Melanie screamed out, “Now there’s my Izzy! Damn, I missed you girl!” She high fived me and hugged me. “I love you girl!”
I laughed, hugging her back and hollered out, “I missed you too Frackarooooooo!” Laughter erupted from the guys as they shook their heads.
Flynn was still laughing, but managed to ask, “What the f*ck is Frackarooooo?”
Melanie and I burst out laughing so hard I thought I might pee myself. We were both crying, laughing at the names that Mack and Brad had nicknamed us — Frick and Frack — which after a night of hard core shots, turned the names into Fricker and Frackaroo.
Melanie started to try to tell the story, but only managed to get out, “Remember the alley after that frat party? And Brad tried to get Morgan to come back to his place?” We both started laughing harder remembering that night.
Then I added, “and then Mack was carrying you upside down and you started throwing up all over his back and it went down his underwear and when he put you down it trailed along his shoulder and …” and then I was laughing so hard I couldn’t finish the statement.
Melanie, still laughing, added in “then we fell into that puddle and were soaking wet and the guys were trying to get us to mud wrestle.”
Clark’s eyes lit up and he anxiously asked, “What? What happened then?”
Ignoring his question and continuing what little I could of the story, I could barely get out, “then Darrel jumped in to save us both and busted his tooth…and then…” We were literally on the ground rolling around like idiots laughing. All three guys were still laughing, but more so at the two of us being idiots remembering some stupid story that made absolutely no sense to them.
We were lying next to each other on the floor staring at the ceiling, still laughing and wiping our tears from laughter. Our laughs died down and Melanie turned serious. She gazed over at me with real tears forming in her eyes and quietly asked, “Why’d you leave me Iz? Why did you go off with HIM? How did I lose you to HIM? ‘Specially now that I know what HE did to you?”
I felt real tears forming in my eyes and whispered, “I’m so sorry Melanie, I’m so so sorry. You were dating Allen and I was working all the time and felt so alone and scared and HE took me to all these places and said I would never have to worry again and I…I just felt so alone.”
Melanie sat up quickly and burst out, “But you weren’t alone! You had ME! ME!” Pointing to herself with her face scrunched up and angry, she was crying now uncontrollably. I began to also as I sat up and shouted back, “No, I didn’t! You were always with Allen. Brad left and I had no one…I was all alone EVERY night.”
Melanie yelled back, “Then you should have told me you felt that way! You’re like my sister. You were supposed to tell me what you were feeling!”
I cried out, “I just wanted to feel loved, like Allen loved you…I had no one….and HE told me HE would be with me.”
“But HE told you in the beginning HE would never love you!” Melanie shot back at me.
“F*ck you!” I spat out. “I was taking what I could. I had no one, dammit…I had you for four years – we were always together and the second we graduated and got jobs, you and Allen were together and I barely saw you! I WAS ALONE...and…it sucked…it sucked so bad...” I was sobbing uncontrollably. I couldn’t stop my tears as I relived how it felt during that time. It was so lonely and scary.
The guys were just standing there, watching us sitting on the floor crying and trying to work it out, but also stunned that we were just laughing a second ago and now in full tears.
Melanie crawled over to me and pulled me into a hug. “I’m so sorry. I wish you would have said something. I’m so, so sorry…I never meant to hurt you…You’re like my sister...I love you...”
“I love you too…I’m sorry too...I should have said something, but I…you were just so happy and I was...just so miserable.” I stammered while sniffing back my tears.
She looked at me, tears streaming down her face, and quietly stated, “HE really messed with your head, didn’t HE?”
Sniffling, I just whispered, nodding my head, “Yeah.” She took a deep breath and hugged me.
Clark clapped his hands together once and said, “Okay, now kiss each other and make it a really good night for me!”
Melanie and I just looked at him and laughed. We hugged again and stood up. Z tried to help lighten the mood, “Well, Izzy, it looks like you’re never allowed to leave!”
I looked back at Melanie. “I’ll never leave you again.” I hugged her tightly.
We went back to our pool game. Melanie and I kept hugging every once in a while. During the game, Melanie got a text and her face lit up smiling. Flynn glanced at her as she nudged me. She showed me a text from some guy named Bill that said Thinking about you. Remembering that incredible time in the back room with you. I looked at her with my drunken eyes and asked “What’s that about?” She flushed and giggled.
Our thoughts were interrupted when Flynn looked at the time and said, “Well, some of us have to get up and work early tomorrow. I’m gonna head up.” He seemed a bit ticked off, but I couldn’t figure out why. Maybe because I made Melanie cry…again?
Melanie looked at him and teased, “What are you worried about? Can’t you handle work on a couple hours of sleep?”
Flynn snapped at her. “Some of us didn’t screw our boss, so I need to be on time.” And with that, he turned out of the room and went upstairs. The room got really quiet and Melanie looked as if she had been slapped. Z rubbed Melanie’s back and said, “Let it go, he’s just being an a*shole.”
Clark broke the quiet by asking, “are you two gonna do anything? Like come on…seriously, kiss each other…full, like on the lips and maybe squeeze each other’s tits too!”
I sauntered sexily over to Clark and put my hand on his chest. “Nah, you missed our lez phase in college. It was f*cking awesome.” I whispered into his ear a little loudly so Z could hear too. Clark’s eyes looked like they were going to pop out from excitement and Z had a shocked smirk on his face.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I whispered “Joking!” We all busted out laughing. Clark looked really disappointed.
Melanie interrupted our laughter and asked “Z, you’re staying on the couch, right?” It was more of a command then a question.
Z nodded his head and answered, “Yeah, I’ll hit the couch, as always.”
Clark said goodnight and headed up to bed. I started cleaning up some of the beer cans and peanuts. I always preferred to clean the mess while I’m still drunk. It made it easier to face a clean house in the morning and you never remembered doing it.
Melanie hugged me, “I love you. Please don’t leave me again.”
I nodded, “I won’t. I promise.”
Melanie started up the stairs but stopped, turned and asked, “Z, can I talk to you for a sec?”
“Sure.” he said walking over to her. They spoke in hushed voices then he gave her a bear hug saying good night to her. Melanie gave me another glance, looking as if she might say something else, but instead continued up the stairs.
Z started helping me clean up and looked at me smiling and shaking his head. “What?” I asked. He chuckled, “Fricker?” I laughed, getting out the broom and dust pan and started to clean up the peanuts.
I turned to him chuckling, “So what does Z stand for?”
“Still can’t guess?” He responded, smiling and a little flirtatiously.
“After that many beers, I can’t think of any names that start with the letter Z.”
He looked at me thoughtfully and gazed at me so intently that I thought I would melt. “Zander,” he said quietly.
“Ah.” I smiled trying to make light of his serious gaze so I wasn’t so drawn in. I glanced away unsure of what else to do.
He must have known I wanted to change the atmosphere and asked, “Is Izzy short for Isabelle?”
My mouth got dry. “Isabella, but I don’t want to ever go by that. Just…just Izzy.” I glanced back at him, his brows pulled together, clearly concerned.
“Okay,” he nodded his head as if knowing it had something to do with HIM.
He cleared his throat and came up to me and my heart beat faster. The fact that I didn’t want to be his rebound was quickly fading away and I didn’t seem to care anymore. I wet my lips because I kept thinking about his lips and how amazing they would feel pressed against mine again. He cupped my chin gently tilting my head towards his and stopped. I thought for sure he was going to kiss me. I started to close my eyes, but then he spoke as he touched my cheek, “Whenever you need to talk, I’ll be here.” Silence. Just silence between us. Although at that point, my heart was beating so fast and I swear, so loud. I was able to choke out “Uh-huh” and blinked my eyes quickly. His body was right up against mine and I felt his hardness against my body. I swallowed not knowing what was next. His eyes seemed a bit confused, as if he were trying to talk himself into something…or out of something. He dropped his hand from my face and backed away. Why didn’t he kiss me?
Broken from that connection, swallowing, I squeaked out, “So, do you need a pillow or blanket or something?”
“Uh, no thanks...I’m good.” As he started settling himself onto the couch.
I started to back myself over to the staircase. “Alright…I, um, I’m going to head upstairs. Goodnight.” And with that I quickly went up the stairs to my room and closed the door. Breathe. Being so close to Z just took my breath away. He was so warm and caring. I quickly got my PJs on, jumped into bed and pulled the covers up tightly. I wasn’t sure why, but I felt like I had to hold the blankets up to stop me from going back downstairs. I wanted to be in his strong arms. I lay there forever trying to not think about Z, but failed miserably. At least that’s a good change from trying not to think about HIM.