I lie on my bed staring at the ceiling. I only need to make it until graduation, then I’m out of here. If I didn’t need help with college I’d have left before now. I’m tired and sore, my ribs ache with every breath I take and I feel pretty fucking low. I pull my cell from my pocket and my thumb hovers over Blair’s name. I’m having an internal battle about what to say to her. I have the urge to call and tell her what happened, just for a chance to vent out all the shit that’s running through my mind; it would be a weight off my shoulders, but I don’t want to transfer the burden.
I toss my phone down and close my eyes, willing sleep to come. I manage about fifteen minutes before I decide that this is bullshit and get up, grab my phone, and make my way outside to my car. I’m on autopilot; I don’t remember the drive but ten minutes later I’m sitting opposite Blair’s house. The light is on in her bedroom and her car’s in the drive so I know she’s home. I sit with the car idling at the curb like some weird creeper watching her house. She walks past the window and seeing her I make up my mind. I’m out of my car and knocking at her front door before I have chance to talk myself out of it.
“Ethan! Miss me so much you’re back already?” she asks, smiling at me. She’s changed out of her bikini and shorts and is wearing lounge pants and a tank top with her hair falling loose around her shoulders. She moves forward to kiss me, lacing her arms around me and I wince from the pain that shoots across my chest.
Her eyes widen and I can practically see the cogs turning in her mind before it dawns on her why I’m in pain.
“Hey Princess, can I come in?”
“Course, babe. Are you okay? What’s happened?” she asks with a concerned frown marring her features.
“The asshole strikes again,” I tell her with a laugh, attempting to make light of the situation as she walks me through the house and up to her room.
“Where’s your mom?”
“Out with her friend, Clare,” she answers. I’m led into her room and down onto her bed as she sits facing me Indian-style.
“How badly has he hurt you? Do you need me to go and get you some pain meds?” Her face looks completely gutted and I instantly hate myself for putting that look there.
“I’m fine, it’s not too painful.” I run the back of my fingers down her soft pink cheeks and her eyes drift closed from the contact. She takes my hand in both of hers and squeezes it slightly.
“I’m glad you’re here,” she says and my shoulders relax. I exhale a deep breath and meet her eyes.
“I only ever want to be where you are,” I tell her, and it's the truth. She doesn’t know it, but she brings me a peace I never knew existed.
THREE WEEKS HAVE passed since the night Ethan turned up on my doorstep battered and bruised from his own father’s hands. I told him I thought it was time to tell someone about what was happening, but just like last time, he shot me down and told me he had it under control. Now every time I touch him, I’m subtly looking for any signs that he’s wincing or tensing in pain. He’s told me that he hasn’t had any further run-ins with his dad and I believe him, but it doesn’t stop me from checking. It's a messed up situation and one that I hate knowing that I’m doing absolutely nothing about.
I’ve never been the type of person to not speak up when I see something wrong happening. Yeah, I may be quiet and shy away from people, but I know right from wrong. Well, at least I used to. What kind of a girlfriend knows that her boyfriend is being abused and stays silent? I hate it, and I’m starting to hate me.
There is a fair in town this week and Brie and Casey should be here any minute to pick me up. We’re meeting Ethan and the band there. Brie basically strong-armed me into going so that she could have a legitimate reason to hang around Jackson.
The last time I went to a fair I was thirteen. Dad took Em and I. He loved carnivals and rides; he dared us to go on some insane bungee ball where you’re caged in and then catapulted into the air at warp speed. Of course, being the cocky self-assured thirteen-year-olds that we were, there was no way we were backing down. We paid our $5, then sat back and endured the worst fifteen seconds known to mankind. I’d eaten a red popsicle before the ride. Big mistake—I’d lost my stomach almost instantly and it was not pretty. Emily was traumatized by the whole thing and by the time Dad had gotten us all cleaned up and stopped laughing, I vowed I’d never go to a fair again. The memory has me chuckling to myself as we walk up to the entrance and meet the guys. Casey’s eying me like I’m some sort of mental case.
“You know, Blair, it’s supposed to be the first sign of madness to talk to yourself, but you're a whole nutha level. You just muttered to yourself and then started laughing creepily.”
I can’t help but break out into a proper laugh then and just stick my tongue out at her.
Ethan, Jackson, TJ, Drew and Dannii are all standing at the entrance paying as we walk up and join them.
Ethan draws me in and kisses me like he hasn’t just seen me at school earlier.
“Dude, get a room!” TJ muses. “You’re worse than those two fuckers,” he says tilting his head to Drew and Dannii who stand hand in hand.