Pocketful of Sand

“I’m right here, baby. Why don’t you come sit with me on the couch?”


She starts to move, but Ryan stops her. That’s when her eyes start to water. She’s a smart girl. She knows this isn’t good.

“Not so fast, little one. Let’s talk for a few minutes. I haven’t seen you in two years. You’ve grown. You’re such a beautiful girl now,” he says, stroking her hair, letting his hand linger a little too long on her back and butt as he continues his touch down her body to then drop away.

“Ryan, let Emmy go to her room. You and I can talk out here.”

I don’t want to attack him and risk hurting Emmy. And I don’t want to say anything that might scare her even further. I’m doing my best to keep my tone and my expression as calm as possible, despite the panic that I can feel clawing at my insides. Panic and rage. The only thing that’s keeping me sane right now is the knowledge that whatever I do and say could worsen Emmy’s condition. She’s been hurt enough. I don’t want her to have to live with the vision of her mother killing a man right in front of her. Or maybe watch her mother die if that man gets the better of her.

That’s why I have to stay calm. For Emmy. For my sweet, precious daughter.

“She looks just like you,” he says, leaning around so he can see Emmy’s face. She stands perfectly still, her eyes fixed on mine. I smile at her, hoping to soothe her.

“Yes, she does. Emmy, you go play in your room. Shut the door and don’t come out until I come get you, okay?”

Please God, make him let her go. Please make him let her go.

I glance from Emmy to Ryan. I hold his darkly familiar gaze. “Uncle Ryan and I are going to talk for a while. All alone.” I emphasize the last, hoping he knows what that means. If I have to pretend to go along with another rape to get my daughter out of this room, I will. I’d do anything, say anything, withstand anything to keep her safe and unharmed.

Ryan watches me, his eyes narrowing on me then scanning me from head to toe. The slow trip they make back up my body, stopping between my legs and at my chest, makes my skin crawl. It doesn’t matter that he’s handsome, that he could have practically any woman he wants. He’s nothing but a sick degenerate on the inside. A man who rapes children. There is no worse predator in my opinion, no more grotesque offense.

Finally, one side of his mouth pulls up into a leer. “Yes, why don’t you run along, little Emmy? Momma and I have a lot to talk about. We’ve got some catching up to do.”

When he stands, he rubs his crotch. My stomach turns.

My eyes fall to Emmy. “Don’t come out, baby. No matter what you hear, don’t come out until I come and get you.”

She nods and my body goes nearly limp with relief when she runs down the hall and slams the door to her room. I hear the knob rattle as she twists the lock and I think to myself, Good girl.

Now I just have to figure out what to do about Ryan.

“How did you find us?” I ask, moving the short distance to the couch.

“Did you really think Lucy would just let you disappear? You know she’s the type to keep her thumb on everyone and everything. Control. She has to have it.”

My heart sinks. “She had me followed?”

He nods once. “From the moment you left the house. I’m surprised you didn’t expect that. Maybe you’re not as smart as I always thought you were,” he says.

I guess I should’ve expected it. But I was so scared, so anxious to get away, to get Emmy away, that I just left. I didn’t look back. Not once. Not even to see if we were being followed.

Ryan comes to sit next to me on the couch. He’s so close his thigh brushes mine, rubbing suggestively as he leans back and crosses his arms over his flat stomach. His eyes are on mine and I hold them. I’m not afraid of him. Not for myself. I’m afraid for my daughter, though. If something happens to me, she’ll have no one to protect her. No one to defend her from men like this. She’ll go to live with them and she’ll be abused until she can get away. But by then it will be too late.

“Why wait so long to make your move then?” Please God don’t let him tell me that he was waiting for Emmy to get older. More to his liking.

My guts twist at the thought.

“She kept it well-hidden for a long time. But she’s not the only one who can manipulate. So here I am. To see you. And my daughter.”

My pulse speeds at the way he emphasizes that Emmy is his. She is biologically his offspring, but not in any way is she his daughter. Not in the ways that count. She will never be. Not as long as there’s breath left in me.

I turn toward Ryan, facing him fully, leaning in a little closer even. I hold his eyes. I speak slowly, clearly. “Do you really think that I wouldn’t fight you tooth and nail for her? Do you really think that you’ll ever be a part of her life?”

His smile is smug as he see-saws his head. “I figure my chances are pretty good.”

M. Leighton's books